The Horrors.

i think i’d lose hope if i couldn’t write stories or make art anymore so i have to keep going (half my projects are about being a failure and letting down my past self by being unable to achieve anything) hm. maybe i could become motivated for retail work

i would like to go to sleep “the pit of 100 trials cannot be quit once begun” no i want to sleep “pit of 100 trials: first floor” my bed

#東方Project 普通の魔法使い

Lost Signal #akiajiart

there are many reasons i’m not cut out for streaming but one i’m recently discovering is my tendency to go for 20 minutes, take a 10 minute break, go for 20 minutes again, take a lunch break for 1-6 hours

wish i still had a website to repost music, i'm listening to the neon diver soundtrack again and i did alright with that one. the mix is muddy as hell and the instruments aren't clear but it's nice to be reminded i'm capable of making a tune at all

armor clad faith is 5:18 so the last chorus can hit at the end of my pomedoro break when i feel the most like an ontological failure thanks potemkin

it’s been so long since i made them that i completely forget how to write any of my characters, any dialogue turns out so bland

unnamed robot oc ive been thinking about a lot recently still trying to work out a design i like

It's #goblinweek so here's goblin from a drawpile

another day of waking up four times in a row and becoming unable to distinguish between dreams and reality

Zaara probably thinks her skeleton horses are cool, but she might especially like that other people are scared of them. #art #originalcharacters

new addition in the "actually drawing my characters" series. there were other character traits i wanted to convey but this one was easier. poses and objects and colors are all so hard...but there were a lot of fun parts too

toho boxing gym. that's the whole bit. it was supposed to be a quick sketch doodle thing but it got away from me.

i try not to be negative unless i’m currently working through it since it just kinda feels bad to encounter that type of post unprompted, but, i want to invent the game that kills you and sucks you inside from the hit genre Don’t Invent The Escapism Machine

i probably ought to become the type of person to repost old art if i’m going to rest my hands for an extended period. i’ve literally never done it before, i throw things into the void *once* and it’s *gone*

i should learn a language -> this is basic but kinda fun -> eh i don’t really have a use for this and it’s feeling like homework -> languages rapidly fall down my priority list -> quit -> forget everything -> oh other languages exist and people have fun learning them -> i should learn a language

thinking about how a year in the hyperbolic time chamber might not be enough for me. i need to recover, sleep better, relearn stuff, get a real framework to learn new stuff, and fitting it all in one year is so much even without the real life context of my actual environment

i think we're all long past the honeymoon phase of a website we never cared about to begin with but i will say it's nice to have a mutuals tab i can look at for five seconds before closing the thing

i think it’s time to start putting the powers and abilities section of the wiki back into the character’s theme song. whatever else is going on it’s important to remember the devil cutter can break through rocks

feels like 30% of my drawings are just my self insert Suffering. i'd really like to change that so my art is less of a cycle of self fulfilling pain, but it seems like all i can do is wait 6 hours until i can spend 90 minutes total on the sloppiest doodle imaginable. it'll be a slow process i think

trying to do some doodling before my hand fails again. i really want to get to a point where i can just draw for a little and focus on something to get better at by the end. as it is, i rush through it a bit and might just be taking damage for nothing. i took breaks though, maybe that's improvement

oc (they/them)

i will also play the free association game

doing another one of these since it's about that time. i did a *lot* in may actually but stalled out pretty hard in september, i meant to do a ton more practice but really only started again around november. still recovering from vn release in march so who knows when the next will be...

i didnt get to do an xmas drawing this year, here's this thing i sketched last year though i have nothing against raisin cookies

Monster people Christmas

Happy Holidays to everyone! Hope it’s been a good day, and season, however you spend it! #originalcharacters #art

sometimes i forget there are topics in my brain that are just velcro i get stuck on. there’s glue traps in here that could be activated at any time. please don’t ask me about mystery adventure murder games

the more i think about my characters the less confident i am in them. it's like i just got obsessed with drawing them and never developed the ability to build a real story that was actually compelling. so i haven't drawn any interactions lately, i kinda got all the juice out of them already

the way peak summer and winter are miserable for everyone on both extremes…maybe the aki sisters were right. autumn’s got leaves and potatoes, why do you even need the other ones? let’s make seasons illegal this next year

anybody else get songs completely fused to old abandoned story ideas? sometimes i’ll hear one again and be reminded that these things never actually leave my brain

hi cobalt it’s the sysadmin of art, yeah you had a bunch of understanding of shapes and forms that didn’t go through on the server, should be fixed now. yeah the arm damage was totally supposed to be a balanced trade. we’re enabling a free 10 pull as an apology

finally i’ve completed touhou heardle forever (i got this one by complete accident). i still don’t know what songs get remixed in fangames half the time though

Edith fashion moments from drawpile

logically i know the only way we're ever going to make it is to extend warmth and kindness to others with an open heart and mind. emotionally i want another meteor to hit whenever i have to interact with another human. this contradicts the last thing a bit but it's been weird today, rough out here

i do want neon diver argent to someday be an rpg that like, gives people a vocabulary and toolset to manage the 999 vectors of dystopia attacking us constantly and come out of it with some degree of hope. but man there are always more vectors and it’s so exhausting to even think about

Hey, wanna make a thing in #Decker but found things a bit intimidating? Or played around but not sure what you can do? Or found the official documentation hard to follow? Check out Phinxel's Field Notes, a new instructional book for Decker, in Decker ahmwma.itch.io/phield-notes

might be finally getting actual artblock. my body's not moving the way i want it to and i'm completely reliant on copying a reference one to one. i'm hoping that going back to drawing a bunch of shapes will help break me out of it a little, but it's rough

dream update: the mall labyrinth is gradually being replaced by streets full of those stores that are nebulously still in any kind of business at all. the economy sucks here too

mail

Yvonne sitting with Luna, in an interesting place. #originalcharacters #art

just so we’re clear, my whole arm is wrapped in bandage because of carpal tunnel and the eyepatch is from looking at the screen too much. the cape deflects [Devil Energy] for conquering the darkness. the tattered scarf is cuz i’m broke and it’s cold out

inventing some lesbians just to draw without getting stuck on writing a big story, it somehow took a lot out of me. they sure look a lot like my other characters so maybe i could have just drawn them in other outfits, but maybe it was good for my brain to take a short break from projects.

i understand the sentiment and largely agree with it but whenever i see some variant on There’s Too Much [Media] i get real demotivated. like yeah i can’t meaningfully contribute to the pile of games and novels that already exist so i probably shouldn’t. may as well though

doodling a bit and getting mad that it's not coming together and that i always hit so many roadblocks/interruptions and that i still don't have a central core and i'm still weak at every aspect of making. luckily i can go for a walk and take it out on my body in a healthy way. recommendable

studied as much as my wrist and eyes will allow so now i want to do another night scene. i don't understand values or perspective enough to push this one as much as i'd like, but it was a lot of fun (also i get too into drawing hundreds of window rectangles help)