doodling a bit and getting mad that it's not coming together and that i always hit so many roadblocks/interruptions and that i still don't have a central core and i'm still weak at every aspect of making. luckily i can go for a walk and take it out on my body in a healthy way. recommendable

studied as much as my wrist and eyes will allow so now i want to do another night scene. i don't understand values or perspective enough to push this one as much as i'd like, but it was a lot of fun (also i get too into drawing hundreds of window rectangles help)

Just remembered I never posted this here. Enjoy this treat for the occasion

i miss not having anxiety. i used to do all kinds of travel stuff and wandering around for enrichment and now i curl into a ball if there’s trucks on the road

experimenting with different fits

Veronica has a kid of her own to help out with the goats now! #originalcharacters #art

please…enjoy a winter… …

i keep trying to get back into chess as if i’m not going to buckle under the combined weight of all my psychological torments and become a pathetic wet animal in two days

sunny mulk

What if dolls were normal

gamedev is about having an angel on your shoulder saying “remember to pace yourself and create a solid minimum viable product to prevent scope creep” and a devil saying “how hard would it *really* be to have hatsune miku sing an album of kickin rad metal gear rising style boss songs”

robocop is a real, inspector gadget is a super. six million dollar man is a real, kamen rider is a super. (pressing my fingers to my temples) bicentennial man has a completely average stat build but access to useful spirits like vigor and sense, situationally becoming a functional real or super. fri

becoming one of the horrors so i can persist

sometimes it feels like i’m trying to draw with a clump of sand, if i’m not surgically precise it all just spills everywhere. drawpile is fine because i’m carving shapes into a 200x200 stone, but i have zero line control anywhere else and i hate it

kinda jealous of people with sort of horney ocs they just draw a picture of with minimal lore, i tried doing that and ended up with a comic/vn draft i’m never going to make good on since i’m only ever going to sketch an underwear pose at most. endless ambition sucks

every week or two i think about finally just making a strawpage and immediately get too exhausted looking at the site to bother. i miss the ask box just being in the website. i miss asks so bad…

but if i stay in samsara long enough maybe i can carry over my stats and abilities and fight the secret boss

annoying part of waking up so much and having three dreams in a row is i don’t remember the penguin area of the mall labyrinth as well as the 2x scale gift shop or the fire escape. i don’t know how i managed it but i’ve ended up in some reverse rio situation with this damn labyrinth every night.

visual novel sprites are the nightmare of "where do i put my hands" 10-20 times at once when you have to draw everyone doing normal standing

i don't like this pose, but this is sort of a benchmark test of how close i am to drawing what i want. the mood is kind of close even if the background isn't detailed, but there are a *lot* of things to work on and practice. it's getting there

bad news: miserable good? news: more stuff for ash to complain about write what you know i guess (annoying monologues)

new set of drawpile sketches while i continue to chip away at anything else. i should NOT be doing comic hatching under any circumstances, but it does look cool

(wakes up at 3am) (wakes up at 4am) (wakes up at 6am) (wakes up at 10am) It’s Improving

i really want to get good enough at backgrounds to draw the stuff i want to but there aren’t really any references for those so it’s tough to study. i don’t know why input is so hard

bloodsucker (not really though)🩸🖌️

One more Halloween Edith

Happy Halloween!!! 🎃 Some stuff I did in Drawpile this month

wondering if some of my characters and ideas can be crunched down into ocs of existing media that just have a blurb on artfight. it’s better to have just one long-running thing that “deserves it” and ”hits” but that depends on putting demos and tasters out too. dunno, posting through it rn

(lying face down on the ground) "what if someone makes a funny short animatic of my characters using audio from a bit i don't know about that fits really well" (crawling and stumbling back up)

solo dev is killing me but what else even is there? maybe someday i’ll get someone to be an editor or something but unless the entire earth stops being completely exhausting to exist in i don’t see it happening

there’s a lot keeping me from just starting neon diver argent as an rpg maker thing even beyond the fact that i’m doing other stuff at the moment, but the largest hurdle is i don’t think i can make a mechanically interesting rpg so it’s like, maybe there’s not much here actually…

thinking about redoing the pngtuber i made a year and a half ago that developed into my self insert ghost. i kinda miss the semi-gothic look of the old one even if it's maybe not *accurate*, but it's not like i look like the other one either. i'll keep figuring it out

Drawpile draws of Edith and... someone.

This painting would have benefited from more time on it but now that the flowers are wilting and the leaves are falling I decided to move on from it. I loved this long lingering summer, I got to spend time with so many bees and butterflies, it’s been beautiful <3 #originalcharacters #art

that ten games to get to know me thing could be interesting to think about. there are lots of games that were formative to me or that i like a lot, but i'm not sure how many are really core to my personality or clearly have that impact reflected in my own work

fmw coming out is probably the first time a touhou thing has felt like an Event to me. people are exploring it at their own pace and there are all sorts of reactions from various steps of the journey? it’s like a big rpg dungeon opened up or something. it’s neat! and…very refreshing…

probably my biggest hurdle at the moment is that i struggle to consciously recall anything and my hands are horribly uncoordinated, so all my drawings are kinda thoughtless and imprecise. this *feels* like it can be fixed with enough sleep but, can it?

i haven't actually got my test results back yet, but being covered in electrodes made me wonder about this sort of thing. maybe they'll find neon diver or cotv spoilers in my thoughts. wasn't going to color this one but just lines was tough to read and just shading looked muddy so it's this

cheryl keeps appearing in cluesbysam so i tried drawing some of the occupations that showed up (featuring pallete from @fizzelpons.bsky.social). something like this takes longer than i'd like, but i do want to just draw more outfits

reference studies continue to be a weird exercise. other people's shapes rarely map onto my own usual construction shapes/proportions, sometimes i have to warp the shapes so much it feels closer to tracing, so i'm maybe not learning. heads especially are just, what is *happening* here

lineart has felt weirdly faster but more tedious lately, it only takes maybe 15 minutes (rough idea) but i’m Constantly fixing wobbly lines and weird pressure areas and too short/long ones etc. i’ve got no line placement sense even though i spend so much time on Construction Shapes…

groupdraw drawing of some of the office demons Sometimes I channel my work into my art. Not sure why I felt like mentioning that now

witch fit

i wonder if it’s possible to plug a strawpage like ask box into neocities somehow, or if i’ll just make one of those normally

haven’t drawn much lately outside of the drawpiles, so here’s the latest ones of those. i wish it didn’t take all day to do these, but it’s nice to just doodle and remember how to draw

ok maybe eschatos - stellar light pops off too much to go in my neocities playlist when it's just a database of characters i don't do much with. however, angels with burning hearts is on here and i'm not getting rid of it, so...

Been working through a weird art funk lately, have some sketches based on random suggestions from my friends

A little ink drawing of Gloria! #art #originalcharacters #ink

scaring myself awake with concepts such as “what if you could only talk in resident evil quotes” and “what if there was too much toast”. thanks unconscious where would i be without regular breaks from sleep