"Never forget, all attractive fictional women are legally married to me and nobody else is allowed to have them."

Very passionate about American flag bikinis.

"Your honor, in my defense, I'm finally migrating from the bird app-" [Death penalty.] Absolute gremlin OC by BadJokesLucia. Minors, do not even perceive. NSFW for occasional dark themes and plenty of dirty jokes.

"I think that's a myth? Mascot suits just get really hot. ...At least until they get possessed in a haunted abandoned hotel built on cursed land and terrorize a group of girls doing a live stream. ...The fanservice in that game was pretty nice, though."

"I finally know what I want to do with my life. You know the random staff members who are responsible for guiding the person in a mascot suit through the convention center? I want to do that. I want to be able to play around with the mascot and pet them while telling the fans that they can't touch."

"Boobs." ...Well, there's Lucia's thought for the week.

"Boobs." That's it, that's the pride month post.

"...Shortstacks." ...So that's the result of thinking of boobs and thighs at the same time, but... Couldn't she use more words,

...Trying to find the start of a roll of duct tape. With malicious intent.

Thinking about thighs now.

...Shooting suction cup darts at Rika's thighs. Not talking about them.

"See, now that's something I'd be okay with. I'd die happy." It's the perfect way to die.

...Still thinking about boobs.

"Not what I said at all. A boobhat or boob pillow would be nice, but I'm not into that absorption vore stuff."

"No, I'm thinking about the ones the size of my head. Maybe bigger." ...dear lord.

Just thinking about boobs.

"Fuck you, Chi-chan- I mean, Skyler." Lucia's a couple of episodes into season 3 and her dislike for Skyler just keeps getting worse and worse.

"...I want to date a pair of pretty sisters."

Suddenly exists again. Wants to kiss girls.

Many thoughts, head full of anime tiddy.

Nothing to do but think about big boobs.

"Anime girls should have a tournament of being my girlfriend." ...how the hell would that even work?

"We already have too many people worshipping sports, so no thanks. We don't need more cities trashed over sporting events."

"...I mean, it wouldn't be so bad to just let religion die off. Better to do that than start some go kart megachurch."

"Oh, that's even worse. They're probably going to just keep making it more and more annoying for the sake of profits and egos, like wrestling. So I'm definitely staying away." Been a while since we gave wrestlers shit. Feels good to get back to that.

"...What the fuck. ...I take it back, don't send any shrine maidens my way. I don't want to date anybody involved in stuff that's sure to turn into complete nonsense that will distract from the relationship."

"...The hell kind of competition would shrine maidens even have? ...But better than nothing, I guess. Send some my way."

"...I do not need magical girl suffering on top of my usual stress and loneliness. But feel free to send me cute shrine maidens."

"...I think I need new friends, not just girlfriends. ...But still mostly want girlfriends."

"I'm tired of being single and desperate. Send me more anime girls so I can be in a relationship and desperate."

"Damn I wish fictional women would acknowledge me."

#SeductiveSunday? No, she just gets the sense that she's going to be isekai'd some time this year and wants appropriate clothing for it. But hey, nice thighs.

"...You're getting picked up by a flying freak and being turned into a human meat grinder because you didn't learn the lesson the first time that flailing your limbs just causes more damage?" Literally the only thing Lucia knows about Invincible.

"I wish extroverts adopting introverts was still a thing. My super awesome OCs need attention. ...So do I, but admitting that part is kinda pathetic."

Just thinking about anime girls.

BadJokesLucia If Thalia can't have her, give her to Lucia.

"They're nonsensical bullshit that we both know won't work!" She's swinging Rika like a flail...

TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST! "Don't lie to me."

PUUUUUULLLLLLL! "Because you're being a little shit."

"..." She's lifting Rika by the pigtails again...

"No. You're going to get us both bankrupt in a federal prison."

"Because there are no safety regulations or wrongful death lawsuits in Rollercoaster Tycoon."

"The only huge hit we'll get is something snapping loose and flying into the parking lot."

"The maintenance costs would still be considerable."

"The cost of building materials alone would kill us."

"...I was just going to become a landlord and eventually buy a laundromat for a living. Or die trying. But I'm more concerned with making this place fun, and water parks aren't fun. Swimming and slides are only fun for like one minute."

"All the more reason to kick that 'busy' excuse in the nuts and make things happen anyway. We don't know when we'll run out of time, so we can't keep wasting what time we do have."

"That misery is exactly why we need to keep reality interesting instead of letting it keep being a boring wasteland."

"...We are not turning this into a debate about the definition of fun."

"Too much work. Just make reality fun."