"...I don't really like seafood. So I'd probably starve in a tropical location even if I survived the sweating."

"...Like the thing SpongeBob and Patrick stayed lost in the woods because of?"

"I would sweat to death in a tropical climate-"

"Damn, you got some off screen development." Sayuri the fourth wall-.

"...When did you two get a dog?"

"Agreed. Even if they're not sketchy, the basements usually have the social halls. We might be able to raid some sugar packets and coffee."

"...Why did the doujin maker even get into your streaming room for the mess to be there in the first place? I didn't think Kiwi would let anybody get that close to you before vaporizing them."

"Was that the one I saw Kiwi turn somebody into a smudge?"

"Well no, don't do that- It crosses into a suspected hate crime if you take the whole church out- And even if I'm not religious, I can appreciate church architecture."

"Doujins don't count. But there was that time Rin Tohsaka basically NTR'd a protagonist on the moon by giving their Servant oral as a plot device-" Sayuri, the fourth wall is crying-.

"Gonna be honest, I don't remember the last time I actually heard about priests going after adult women-" Sayuri, we're definitely straying towards territory we can't address- "Either way, I'm good with you torturing them."

"I wish sexy nuns were real." Sayuri, down girl-

"That's just in hentai, babe. Real nuns are just kind of... Either insufferably grumpy, complete dorks, or only in it to hide from their mobster boyfriend after seeing him shoot somebody." A fucking Sister Act reference in 2026?! "The priests are the freaks in real life." Can we even say that...?

"Ah come on, even if somebody's faking being 100% pure, that doesn't mean they're the ultimate secret degenerate. Maybe she's just like... 95% pure."

"I think I'd burst into flames if I dated a Saint. But Jeanne is pretty hot, I'll admit that." ...That line of thought is exactly why she'd burst into flames. "And like... I'm too impatient for that whole praying before eating thing. She'd probably dump me even if I didn't get smote."

"Aww, you're sweet~" That gets Sith a big hug and smooch! "I wouldn't go alone, though. I'd get lost. So I assume having you right next to me would keep me safe even if I mouthed off~"

Fate GO, but it's just Sayuri getting up to shenanigans with the Servants in the background.

"Aw, I love you too~" Not the part to fixate on, Sayuri- "I'm pretty durable, so I'd be fine!" ...Drunks are a bit more likely to survive certain stuff because they ragdoll instead of tensing up...

"Nah, my boss already taught me the good stuff." ...what- "...Your mom isn't looking for you? ...I'm gonna have to have some strong words with her." Oh dear...

"...Skill issue-" Oi- "What kind of dumb loser dies from being lied to?"

"I mean... I think Kiwi probably gave people severe radiation poisoning if they pissed her off. So it's not like you were the evilest- But yeah, I'm the best influence ever~"

"...I don't think karma has anything to do with Legos?" It's always strange to see Sayuri being the logical one- "Besides, I have a baseball bat for anything that hurts my loved ones."

"...Babe, they're not alive. Toy Story was fictional."

"Aw, but that one was such a pretty shade of blue... But I guess now I know what happened to that one pot we had to throw out."

"I still want to meet Babe-Sith's fairy buddies."

"Aww, but I still like Legos. I just need more storage so they don't get spilled." Sayuri already bought two bookcases just to sort out her junk and barely made a dent...

"I love my harem of redheads."

"I only do that one when I stub my toe." Aaaaand she's climbing her girlfriend again...

...Sayuri's doing the family guy death pose at the bottom of that hill- "...I'm dizzier than normal, dude..." Okay she's fine.

Sayuri breaths! ...And trips. ...And rolls down a hill.

"Hey, who remembers when getting super lost while drunk was one of my big character traits?" ...This must have something to do with the fact that she's wearing an iron helmet from Skyrim and carrying five whole cheese wheels.

"I wanna collect more redheaded wives."

Suddenly kicking a door open- "'Sup my dudes?! I'm gonna mating pre-" Aaaaaaand she just fell over... Our favorite drink is being herself, apparently...

[For various reasons, Sayuri's entire statement had to be redacted.]

"Horn-" Preemptively obliterated with an orange from a slingshot-

"The world knows I'd be too powerful if I was popular and sabotages me at every opportunity."

The bottle just slipped off of Sayuri's thumb and shattered on the ground because of pure disappointment- "Get a new joke, lady-"

"Boobs." A wise word and a sage nod from a woman whose thumb is stuck in a rum bottle.

...Where did the alcoholic buy a rum cake bigger than her?

<- Still wants to expand her harem. Very greedy.

"Come on, I'm durable and always squeeze my way out of trouble. I'd be fine meeting your mom. But I do want to meet the pretty dragon fairy first. Dragons are cool."

"Kiwi's ex wife thought it would be funny to pat my head and expect me to not feel very conflicted about it."

"...I mean, people definitely like seeing hockey players throw a few punches, but that's typically as far as it goes. But yeah! I know I have this whole harem fantasy, but I still genuinely love you to bits."

"Yes." Zero hesitation. "...Though the part I spent money on actually got me no copies of you. Four of Barghest, which almost got me in a hockey brawl." ...Hockey? Not a bar brawl? "But grinding bond and backlogged rank up quests finally gave me two copies of you~ Now I just need the dragon."

"Please what?"

"Hehe~ Finally got Summer Sith~ Now I just gotta keep aiming for Summer Melusine to get my full fairy harem~"

"Couldn't get my beautiful summer girlfriend or her cool summer dragon friend. Only got two of her big titty summer muscle friend. Guess I gotta drink myself to death."

"Crowns... Trophies... Victories... They're just nice things to collect. I'm most interested in being admired, adored, and maybe a little feared." An #UmamusumeRP OC by BadJokesLucia NSFW topics possible.

"Nah, I don't need or want a giant. I'll take a catgirl and assassin, though. I'll have to take eldritch abominations and bugs on a case by case basis."