This isn't photoshopped. It's widely understood that this mustache is verboten, as one of the worst people to ever exist sported this mustache; a man who spread fear and lies about groups of innocent people, causing endless suffering. The other person was Hitler.

I guess we should have read the label more closely...

Errol Musk causes autism during pregnancy

I know for a fact Tylenol doesn't cause autism. My mom took a shit-ton of it while pregnant, and I looked up every individual ingredient and put it in a multi-variable comorbidity matrix where I cross-referenced it with the most common diet foods and supplements in each decade broken down by regi...

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!

This is a real tweet

It’s only "censorship" if it comes from the censorship region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling government-overreach.

Oops! Jk!

Might as well, he lied everywhere else

Military roaming the streets, multiple political assassinations, Israel still at war, Poland attacked, Ukraine still at war, regular school shootings, ICE raids, tariffs, postal service to America suspended, boycotts of American goods. Is literally anything better?

Since the Department of Defense is now the "Department of War," might as well rename the National Guard, who is currently helping illegal ICE raids, to National Assault

A number of followers have pointed out that I've been overly critical of Burning Man lately. I would like to apologize to no one. Shit sucks. I've learned nothing and won't "do better" because I'm already the best and all my opinions are awesome. Maybe make a festival that I approve of next time

Really enjoying the Burning Man schadenfreude this year. Lots of posts like, "it was really hard this year, nothing went to plan, we were stuck..." etc, followed by "..but it was awesome." Sounds like it was shit and your face was shit. I enjoyed showering, electricity, and Korean BBQ

People are making speculations about Trump's health because he hasn't been heard or seen for several days--everything from stroke to heart failure. No matter what your politics are, it's wildly inappropriate to speculate that he has a heart.

There's this idiotic & dishonest graph floating around online. Columbine happened in 1999. Doom had sold 3.5M copies by then. The shooters, Dylan & Eric, played Doom. So the per-capita mass-shooting rate of Doom players is high because they represent a larger percentage of a smaller group. Dumb.

What a fucking coincidence.

Woops! I love using dork-lord supreme Elon's own bot against the mass-hysteria narrative on Twitter.

Wow, the person who got moved to a minimum-security prison didn't have anything bad to say about the person who moved her there?

Hell yeah! From nearly zero in 2023 to 762 cases, more than double all of 2024 in just 8 months! I dunno guys, maybe an ex-heroine addict who got mercury poisoning from eating too much tuna & a brain parasite from eating road kill wasn't the best choice for HHS

Sure, charging someone with a felony for throwing a sandwich seems excessive in light of the pardoning 1500 violent J6ers, but did you consider what would've happened if the officer had caught it in his mouth? There are around 90g of carbs in the bread alone.

Yeah sex is great, but nothing beats a Jet2Holiday.

It’s almost like the President lied about who these tariffs would affect. Weird…

Huh... that's weird, why am I being charged tariffs when buying things online? I thought other countries were going to pay them? If a political party came out and said "we're going to double your sales tax" people would riot. Yet that's exactly what they did: double sales tax.

Trump has federalized Roku City

New, from the party of personal freedom & small government! Since we're forcing children to carry rape-babies, demonizing vaccines and banning books, why don't we play all the hits and bring back blood-letting, witch trials and demonizing left-handed people?

Ever play a game where you make the character do something terrible, then you start liking the protagonist less for something you made him do? Asking for a friend...

Nothing to see here folks. Just our country being stolen by dictator wannabes.

Probably nothing...

"Here are some familiar faces you may know based on people we've scanned on your device." Thanks, Google!

This isn't even an exaggeration, HONESTLY.

Sending email in 2019 vs 2025: 2019: hey how's it going? 2025: hey how's it going? NEW ✨AI Summary: The user is reaching out to the recipient to ask how "it" is going. "It" in this context is used to refer to the situation or circumstances in a general way, without specifying a particular thing.

Tariffs are an important tool to bring jobs & manufacturing to the US. Anyway, time to hop on my Qatari-made presidential jet replacing the US-made Airforce One!

New marching orders dropped! This copy & paste narrative from the machine is some of the most NPC propaganda I've ever seen (via imruiningphotos on 🧵)

Hahaha

CVS should start printing the Epstein list at the bottom of their receipts to see if anyone notices

Exactly

It's pretty cool that in the United States, we have given the only leverage to get a prisoner to talk in the form of a pardon to the person she would implicate if she talked

It was just a matter of time.

Thinking about the time a girl slept over at my place and asked if I had a charger. I pointed to her bedside where there was an Android and iPhone charger. She picked up both cables, looked me in the eyes and said "slut." Then she charged her phone

If craigslist was epsteinslist...

Why would he say that?

Measles is back thanks to RFK Jr. Meanwhile we're throwing gender-reveal parties for bombs.

Finally, the person responsible for scrubbing all the evidence regarding Epstein revealed!

By "LFG" he meant "Let's Fucking Gaslight"

You mean the primary suspect of being on the Epstein list, & the guy who wished Ghislaine Maxwell "well" while she was on trial for sex trafficking has investigated the claims & says no such list exists? Well, back to putting people in labor camps for making tacos w/o paperwork!

"Uh.. actually it's not a concentration camp, it's called a Roman Bunk Bed."

As usual Maddox having the correct take.

Call it what it is: Alligator Auschwitz We've gone from "we don't have a problem with legal immigrants, it's just the iLLeGAls we don't want" to calls for a soft-holocaust in less than a month

Hell yeah, we did it boys! We're finally Great Again!

Cheese with pulp. Don't know why I thought of this, but if I have to think about it, now you do too.