I just got a little spike of excitement because I get to see Mark Watson on Thursday in my actual town of residence, no traipsing on public transport or staying in fancy hotels, I am agog with anticipation.

I'm currently obsessed with that song by a man about all of the smut on his wife's kindle. My favourite line is 'how am I supposed to compete with that, these dudes have got wings, tatts, and stamina stats, meanwhile I'm over here with back pain and snacks.' Love it. It's cheering me up.

Don't forget to watch All in: Chesham United this week (like I did, oops, but I've watched now.) Alex's football commentary made me grin. www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHq-...

My hospital visit was intense. They took me back to the Intensive Care Unit and all the staff recognised me and they they showed me the bed I was in and said this is where I was when they had to shock my heart. People, I'm not too proud to say I cried...

I think Alex Horne is looking extra attractive now he's in America with Greg like they're on some sort of honeymoon. You know how I feel about him anyway but wow... *fans self* #TaskmasterUS

Another day, another stupid stomach upset, and trying to juggle the rules for eating with a stoma, and the rules for eating having had weight loss surgery. The irony is I lost so much weight in the hospital I didn't need the WL surgery, but if I hadn't have had it I might have died from the sepsis.

I've visited Boston and I really liked it. I went with my partner who loves American history and so we did all of the tourist things in the snow. Seeing Greg and Alex there now is lovely and I hope they're having an equally good time.

I survived the shower and washed and conditioned my hair like a champion. Now I have a Jude Bellingham Edition Lucozade Sport drink which just tastes like lemon and lime squash if we're honest with ourselves.

Right I've bribed myself into going for a shower by promising myself I can think of Greg and Alex while I'm in there. I'm not sure why this has worked but I'm going. See you on the other side.

I've just spent the last 30 minutes thinking 'oh god, I don't want to go and wash my hair' when I could have just have already done it by now. Why am I like this?

Unnecessary roughness is a foul call in NFL. It surprises me that there isn't more gay sports smut on the market. Add in some unregulated sports equipment shenanigans and you've got a blockbuster on your hands.

Despite the fact I almost never leave the flat, I've just been nearly attacked by a dog and an English Bulldog at that. This is not a metaphor. I thought there was someone at the door, opened it and the dog ran at me snarling. I slammed it. There was no one with it. This is why the outside is bad!

Let's hope Alex and Greg forget themselves and get horny as hell in the US. I mean we've had the condom story but I would ideally like something of the calibre of, "you're not used to seeing it with trousers on." In a perfect world. Come on, we deserve it.

I had a weird hallucination today. I was in the kitchen with the light on and a voice said, "Sarah," then slightly louder, "Sarah." And then I heard a beep of like a machine and for the narrowest of seconds I thought I was back in the hospital waking up from the coma. It passed and now I'm fine.

I'm glad Americans are getting some Alex and Greg action. I hope that it's everything you dreamed of. You all need a little treat #TaskmasterUS

Talked about politics and religion in the office on Wednesday and somehow avoided an impolite discussion despite differing views. It did feel a little bit like walking over hot coals though, so I'll try to avoid doing that again.

It's too stressful to think about all the big things going on in the world but these small things are almost as stressful. Argh...

The food thing makes me as annoyed as the shampoo adverts that say they make hair shinier but the small print is versus shampoo and conditioner. It's not even a fair test. Along with the test sample being like 10. That's not even all the people in this building. Totally unscientific.

'Healthy food doesn't have to cost more, you just not buy takeaways and eat less.' But everything you buy will cost twice the price and there comes a point where you actually cannot eat less food, no matter how high the quality or the taste. Not to mention the time and mobility to stand and cook

Watching those health shows at the start of the year always leads me to be annoyed. Some smug doctor, "all you need to be healthy is to cook all meals from scratch. Simple. No ultra processed foods." The family doing it, "we spend all day washing up and we are exhausted and poorer."

Can't wait to start watching the Alex and Greg based nonsense coming out of the States. I wish they hadn't gone somewhere so dangerous but I can be assured that they will definitely be unhinged with each other on this trip.

My smear test was successfully completed today and my B12 at the same time. More than one kind of poking *giggles* the nurse said, “feel free to keep your socks on!” I will, they have sloths on them 😂

Watching #DiggingForBritain while the rain absolutely smashes down outside. I’m all cosy and warm and learning about history 💜

My cat is perched on the arm of the computer chair like the most passive aggressive creature in existence. 'No, that's fine, I'll just sit uncomfortably here, Sarah...' *glares*

My arm really aches after yesterday's 'exercise' but only my right arm. What kind of machine wizardry is this? I mean at least we know it does work, if the aim is to get sore muscles.

Today I used one of those electrical pulse machines that stimulate your muscles into contracting. My male colleagues were shouting and carrying on, meanwhile I surpassed their intensity level and didn't even notice. One male colleague said, "wow, you're double hard." Nope, just a woman.

Dinner is lasagna. I say that because what people are having for dinner is the question I always ask, to the point that my friends knew there was something wrong with me (when I was in the coma) because I hadn't asked them what they were having for dinner for a while. I am boring and basic 😆

I highly recommend episode three of the Chesham United documentary All In. And not just because I was surprised by seeing myself on the screen. I thought the game rang a bell and then bam! Sarah on camera... www.youtube.com/watch?v=N88h...

First mini-eggs of the season with a lovely cup of earl grey tea. Trying to make the elongated hellscape that is January just a little more bearable.

Watching straight dudes dissecting the gay sex scenes in Heated Rivalry like they're talking about sporting plays is brilliant. Proper hockey podcasters speculating on the feelings involved in this M/M hockey smut is giving me life. I said what I said.

Has an animal ever tried to kill you? In Costa Rica a monkey threw a branch of a tree at me so hard that if it had hit me it would have killed me. I stepped to the side at the last moment. I have never liked monkeys and it appears the feeling is mutual.

I dreamt about Mark Watson and then I woke up and have an email about the gig of his I'm going to at the end of the month and my seat has been changed. I genuinely do not remember buying front row at all but now I'm somehow front row and centre.

I’m now home, eating leftover pizza and watching Digging for Britain. I absolutely love @profaliceroberts.bsky.social and find this show utterly engaging and thought provoking. Fantastic telly.

The lip bite again… yes and please

In Soho to see The Horne Section - oh hello Alex Horne obsession, and a really pretty female stranger told me my eye makeup was beautiful on the walk back to the fancy pants hotel I’m staying at 🤣

So I'm discovering that Heated Rivalry is a thing... I have only watched other people reacting on You Tube thus far but I'm intrigued. It is very relevant to my interests and I do not mean hockey #HeatedRivalry

The NHS reached out and asked me if I would be willing to be sent to a private clinic for my surgery. Of course, I don't have the honk to pay for it though! Who would refuse that kind of deal? Either my hospital wants to get rid or the NHS is so overwhelmed they're trying to just send me anywhere.

I have such a bad stomach right now. It makes me more than a little nervous given what happened to me last year but I am going to busy myself ignoring it. Also today there was snow!

The second episode of the Chesham All In documentary is out. Please go and watch it and like it and subscribe. Y'know, all the things. www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjlH...

I have now watched the second part of #TaskmasterNYT and it will surprise precisely no one what my favourite bits were. Fanfic fodder indeed.

I'm very much looking forward to #TaskmasterNYT at 9pm. I have heard of everyone taking part so that's a good start. I'm hoping for truly unhinged levels of homoeroticism from Alex and Greg. Come on, really 'treat' me guys.

Why can't American shows hire actual British actors to play British characters? Watching an episode of FBI and this British Special Forces guy sounds like Dick Van Dyke. Mate, we don't sound like that...

I really love the Pepto Bismal advert. In a sea of other adverts talking coyly about what their product is supposed to help you with, there's this one that has a dance for diarrhoea and is catchy as hell.

Our bins have gone out for the rubbish collection tomorrow. This period is very confusing for bin schedule reasons. We have alternate recycling and other rubbish which is not really frequent enough if we're honest with ourselves, especially for the amount of council tax we pay.

No cheating. Repost with the most recent photo of any of your pets.

I would quite like 2026 to be the year of television shows stopping the 'coming up next' montages. I will know what's coming up next because I'll have watched it. I also don't want to be recapped what's happening every 5 minutes. I have a longer memory span than a goldfish. Oh, that spiralled...

I mean it's not an especially good portent to have a nightmare on the very first day of the new year, let's be honest with ourselves but hey all we can do is move forwards. Happy New Year everyone.

I had an actual nightmare last night. I made my nightmare noise which is a sort of part yodel, part scream, that I can feel in my throat when I wake up. It was 01:35 when I woke and the dream was about the ceiling falling in on me. The rest of the night was thankfully nightmare-free #dream

My first medical appointment of the year will be a cervical smear test and my B12 shot. Considering when I was a coma they found necrotic tissue on my ovary and didn't even tell me about it (it was in my hospital notes) I figure I better give myself the best chance of not getting that kind of thing.

Also has anyone ever won anything on the meter reading wheel spin thing. I literally spin it every month and have never even 'won' a pound. Maybe I'm just an unlucky person but I think it's more likely no one wins. Also the fact you get when you don't win is annoying