When the #RoyalMail post a card through your door that is completely blank. And you were at home… what am I supposed to do with it?! Guess where the parcel is?

I would buy the shit out of a Taskmaster calendar. Just Alex and Greg in the suits in a variety of suggestive poses. You could power the universe with that kind of energy. The merch we’re all waiting for. Take my money #Taskmaster

Feeling a bit delicate today despite the fact that I was driving yesterday and therefore not drinking. I decided not to go to the SU2C thing next week but can’t wait to watch the resulting telly programme. Feeling sad for no reason sucks.

Today’s tea is lemon, ginger, green tea and echinacea. Not sure about this one! #adventcalendartea

Had a hug and a quick chat with Alex. Looked longingly at his wife from afar because I find it way more difficult to talk to women I admire and apart from some roadrage against me, the night was a good ‘un. The docu is so brilliant and I will gobble that series up #allincheshamunited

I'm going to see Alex Horne tomorrow and only a horrendous drive in the dark and the M25 at rush hour can get in my way. Come on, universe, reward me for my bravery!

I'm currently wearing this shirt and I'm so pleased with myself. I love physics but it's an abusive relationship because it doesn't love me. I actually looked at studying astrophysics at Keele university and the male students looked at me like I was an alien.

Imagine a #Taskmaster roadshow only as well as doing it in the US, they also do it here. I'm thinking along the lines of the Top Gear Live show (where I spent three days drunk in Birmingham surrounded by supercars, my mates, and the TG3). Thinking out loud but such a thing is not without precedent

How ironic that the delivery driver who asked for my year of birth because my delivery had alcohol in it, absolutely reeked of booze...

Today’s tea was spearmint, rooibos and baobab which I thought was a tree, not a tea, but whatever. All I could taste was the spearmint. #adventcalendartea

Today's tea is straight up camomile. Despite there being camomile in yesterday's tea, I slept like crap so maybe the other ingredients interfered and tonight camomile will do its thing #adventcalendartea

Today's tea is strawberry, camomile and limeflower and it's called unwind. I haven't drunk it yet because it seems like a nighttime tea but I've never heard of limeflower so that'll be interesting. All I can think of is Phil Wang saying, "it's a lime!" #adventcalendartea

The most important thing Bluesky could do would be to add an edit comment feature. Typos make me twitchy and tense but I'm too lazy to get rid and start again. Please, help a girl out.

Using Calamine lotion just gave me a real nostalgia kick in the teeth. No idea whether it will do anything but I suspect there'll still be antibiotics in my future. My belly is on FIRE 🔥 and not at all in a good way.

The advent calendar tea was basically like every other fruit tea I've ever tried; smells amazing and tastes like vaguely sour hot water. I wonder what's tomorrow's tea will bring? #adventcalendartea

Today’s tea is strawberry, cucumber, aloe Vera and green tea and it’s called glow. Not much glowing at 5:30am 😬

I get to open the first day of my Twinings advent calendar tomorrow and I'm in the office so I'm going to take it to work with me and my plan is to drink all of them so we'll see how that goes. Then I'll be seeing Alex on Friday so something to look forward to. Wooo!

I have suddenly got back into Life On Mars, the tv show, for no apparent reason. Uh, it's so good. Gene Hunt is... well, yes, ahem. And it will surprise precisely no one to learn that I ship Gene/Sam something fierce. Yay!

I just watched another episode of #9-1-1Nashville and it's so awful it cannot be overstated how dire it is. So far out of three episodes all of them have had crazy tornado action and yet there's also something compelling about it and I don't mean the super hot firefighter who used to be a stripper.

The cat is bullying me to go to bed. I am shouting at a small creature that I will not be bullied by a cat. Guess what? I am going to bed...

I have completed my Christmas shopping which was hampered by me seeing things I wanted and buying them for me. I bought a Twinings advent calendar despite the fact that I only like two kinds of tea. My mum used to send me a chocolate advent calendar long after I became an adult.

I don’t know whether to get tickets for the Bradford comedy thing in January. On the plus side that’s my home town so I can visit family but I’m due to have more surgery at some point and may have to cancel… hmmm.

So glad I took today off and I dreamt the Alex Horne was doing some sort of Taskmaster event in my home town that I stumbled on, in a pub for some reason. Lots of rugby type dudes trying to chat up Alex and then little old me 🤣

I asked my fella how his day went and he said, "it was alright, I went to [redacted] and gave Andrew a cuddle." I was like, "who the fuck is Andrew?" He replied, "he's gay." Is it just me or is that not an answer to that question?! I don't mind but I'm surprised.

I hope my American friends are having a lovely Thanksgiving and are avoiding family drama and pressure 💜

I am now not going to be seeing Alex tomorrow because he cancelled the appearance. Now the question I have is should I cancel the day off work I took to recover from central London... but now I'm invested in not being at work on Friday 🤣

Right so maybe the book signing thing is not happening... I'm not going into Central London pre-Christmas for anyone other than Alex. And my fella I guess, if he really needed me to.

I'll be seeing Alex Horne and my posse again tomorrow. I have to brave central London but I can do it for the right incentive. That is where I shall end this thought. Whatever you think I'm thinking, it's probably worse/better depending on your point of view.

Turned on my notifications for the limited social media I have and discovered loads of stuff I've missed by sleeping and having a job. That's just rude 🤣

I dreamt I was doing my old job (back in the day when I was a Prisoner Escort) and the prisoners kept pulling out contraband items from 'everywhere' and just being idiots in general. In real life they do that and it's called plugging. I'll leave it to your imagination where those items are... #dream

Well, that was a day that happened... another 24 hour period, another ticket to a television show tangentially linked to Alex Horne. I have the willpower of dust when it comes to that man.

I have to go to work tomorrow, which means I have to get up at 5:30am which is just wrong. Another weekend of not winning the lottery. Seems unfair.

When your sister asks you to provide pictures of you and your partner and you realise you have more pictures of you and Alex Horne... yeah, that.

The new television is here and my partner did the traditional shouting and generally being arse-y about screws not going in. I did not help when I took charge and screwed in those screws easy as pie. He just looked at me and I said, "sometimes it just takes a woman," and he glared 🤣

When your pocket pals suggest something you've never heard of. Happy Christmas to me 🤭

Dropped my fella off at the pub because it's raining and now have the flat to myself for the evening. I love him dearly but I also like spending time on my own 🤣 Let's see how drunk he is when he gets back. If he calls me his favourite girl we know he's very drunk indeed.

I really dislike mince pies. I don’t really ‘get’ them as a concept. I have been informed though that my opinions on Christmas foods are wrong as I eat the Yorkshire tradition of Christmas cake and cheese. I take the icing off, I’m not mental…

I finished Box Hill by Adam Mars-Jones which is the book that the film Pillion is based on. Hmmm it was interesting but it's kind of a blueprint of what not to do. Not sane, or safe, or even consensual in parts. However a half-naked Alexander Skarsgard is calling me to watch the film anyway.

I have big cold sores and am very miserable and sad with this turn of events. My fella who doesn't get cold sores said, "it doesn't look that bad," and I'm afraid he copped both barrels of the what the fuck would you know, gun.

Also the gold 'Alex Horne inspired' trainers are very shiny and gold. In typical style yesterday I was wearing Temu jeans and a cashmere jumper. I am very impressed with Temu jeans by the way. I know we shouldn't shop there but they fit so well and make my arse look fabulous...

I have an update for fans of Sarah's shopping adventures... no one? I now have everything except the coat from M&S. The two coats from TK Maxx fit and the only thing that doesn't fit is the boots are really tight, should have got a bigger size but everything else fits. That's pretty impressive!

I lead a bunch of people off the train and on to the next like the Pied Piper of Southern Railway.

On the train last night we got to Brighton where the train wasn't supposed to go and the conductor said we all had to get off and onto another train on a different platform. I woke up a sleeping man to relay the information and various drunk people asked if they had to change trains too...

Me and the squad excited for #TaskmasterCoC yesterday. Look at our happy faces! 💜

When you get home at 2am and then a water pipe bursts at 3am and you’re mopping up wearing nothing but knickers and now there’s no water. Yeah, that. But I was about 4 feet away from Alex yesterday so there’s that too.

#TaskmasterCoC was so good, I was front row closest to Alex. It was madness, no spoilers but no idea how they’ll edit it. Now I’m on the last train to Worthing and I am not enjoying this journey!

Lines in songs that make you cry and you have no idea why: Martha's Harbour, All About Eve - I felt safe and sound but needed the danger.

Lines in songs that make you cry and you have no idea why. Nights In White Satin, Moody Blues - 'Just what you want to be, you will be in the end.'

Going to #TaskmasterCoC tomorrow (I'm blatantly calling that hashtag Taskmaster cock in my head) and I'm making noises so high-pitched only dogs can hear me. The excitement is real, folks...

My mum sent me a video of her making the Christmas mincemeat (it has no meat, no idea why it's called that) and she stirred it three times and told us to make a wish. I had completely forgotten about that Christmas tradition. I made a wish, my internet brethren.