I literally lost brain cells reading this.

Just because. 🤷‍♂️

On a related note, we need to talk about why people pay for a goddamn doorbell camera, let the battery run out, never EVER charge it again, and then wonder why I knocked on the door upon arrival.

Post a cartoon character you most relate to.

Golden Globes for podcasts now? Really? What's next? YouTube videos? Memes? Fucking dashcam footage? Talk about visible desperation.

Hey, #ICE: Perish in a fire.

I may or may not make it through today without uttering the following to someone most deserving:

Awake and alert, but barely. 🥱

Noted Gollum cosplayer and questionable bedroom matador #StephenMiller got his fee-fees hurt because people are calling him a fascist. Do your part and make sure he hears it loud and clear. #StephenMillerIsAFascist

Continuing my classics marathon.

Neither of the two comedians whose work I follow are taking part, so this is a very easy "Look the other way" for me when it comes to depriving these sellouts of income.

A little late to the party this morning, but whatever. 😉😛

#PeteHegseth coming out was not on my 2025 bingo card. 😆

This smelled fishy from the very beginning... An "OMG I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY FOUR MEXICANS!" text to mom right after you've been shot and thrown into a van sure sounds legit. Try the little fucker as an adult.

Big, beautiful senility in action, folks.

Add YouTube to the list of websites I'll never visit again.

A window into the past sometimes sees the future. 1960's "Inherit the Wind" is one of the greatest films of all time, unusual for its time in that it has much on its mind and is never afraid to express it. The 1999 version gets by on the strength of its titanic lead performers.

Pretty sure this is a fake account, but I cannot remember the handle of the original man. I do know that he watermarks his photos, which these are not. If anyone knows the handle off the top of their head, kindly let him know, or comment and I'll tell him. Thanks, babes!

Call me a terrorist all you like. It's not going to make me shut my mouth. 🖕🖕

For #MonochromeMonday, we're going old-school.

How utterly shocking. 🙄

Let the shit burn. Fuck 'em. They're doing fuck-all for the world other than literally burning it down; if it were up to me, those firetrucks would never leave the station for a call about a data center.

#8647 Just because.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wank's End

I feel like we missed a prime opportunity on Sept. 25th to fuck with the Rapture wingnuts by posting phony stories about people we know disappearing into thin air, leaving them to wonder why they're still here.

Happy weekend, everyone.

Just as one STD gets eradicated, another one steps up to bat. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people? You made the Epstein files your whole identity, and now you want to put a pedo-apologist on a pedestal? Even on my highest day, I wasn't this goddamn dumb.

"If these raids keep going, we’re all going to go broke. It’s crazy. It is horrible. It’s not right." Says the Brazilian immigrant/naturalized citizen who voted for Trump. Leopards, your move.

Whoever did this deserves a blowjob every day for the rest of their lives. 🤣 🤣 🤣

Hey, y'all! How does it feel to be a terrorist now? 🤣

What are they gonna call it? National Pain In the Neck Day, perhaps?

"We did it for the country; please stop canceling your subscriptions!" is the vibe I'm getting from Disney. Sorry, but it's still a firm "Not coming back" for me.

Scientists have been seeking the cause of autism for years, yet I'm supposed to believe it only took Brainworm Bobby and his band of merry cockwipes mere months to figure out that it's been Tylenol all along? Miss me like the broad side of a bus with that shit.

Pardon me while I submit numerous tips about right-wing extremism. 🤣

Candace Owens is the human equivalent of crotch rot. Prove me wrong.

Fully intentional, I'd bet. These people don't know how to be quiet about their intentions.

Celebratory post-COVID trapper-thirster. 😀

Not pregnant! 🥳🥳🥳

Here's to some semblance of normalcy back in my routine. 😉

This is just touching all of those wonderful spots that haven't been touched for ages. 🤣 Serves these fuckers right.

Wrapping up my "Alien" marathon today, then diving into "Jurassic Park".

Symptom-free... and now comes the waiting game. 😒 My favorite question: "Are you going crazy being stuck at home?" As if I would rather be anywhere else. I basically quarantine myself from humanity every weekend. 🤷‍♂️😄

So Disney/ABC is pulling Jimmy Kimmel's show because... Jimmy Kimmel told the truth about MAGA's reaction to Charlie Kirk's offing? Guess I'll be canceling my "Tron: Ares" ticket. Sorry, but if you're going to align yourselves with fascist behavior, my money you shall not receive.

Day 3 of COVID: slightly better than yesterday, hopefully worse than tomorrow. Side note: I've come to accept the "I just blew Optimus Prime!" taste in my mouth as a new temporary normal.

Yay, COVID. 🤮 I'll be back when I'm not sweating through every piece of clothing I put on. 😑

Come and get me, slut. 🤣 Your performative theater is as weak and limp as your member, a dick not even Viagra could resuscitate.

Loud and proud, baby!