Busted a nut on the face of two bearded white men happy New Year's Eve ✨

IG close friends saw it first

The way it's Sunday and my job still hasn't fucking paid me since the 12th... I'm about to start fucking burning shit down

My Christmas miracle was almost getting 8 hours of sleep for the first time in years 🥹🥹

Hi

shoutout bussy’s for these rad sweatpants

Stop putting those fucking diapers on my TL I'm so serious

Finally over the flu

Finally over the flu

I need to start only using one music platform so my shit is actually accurate

Which one of you pervs saving my shit

On today's episode of Cut Or Uncut:

Having a family where no one is conservative >>>>

Hey there, Slick 😘 Grab a bottle of Bum Lube for yourself here: friend-of-dorothy.co.uk/calamityuwu & slide on in with promo code calamityuwu10% to save 10% off your order #ad #humpday

Office? empty ✅ Dead? Inside ✅ Bush? Hairy ✅

💥

Full bush + shaved balls is an elite combo

🫵💋👇

I'm on 30 mg of Adderall why can I not focus!!!

McDonald's for breakfast 😃

TBT with my man @aurioz.bsky.social before we moved into together 🏡

TBT with my man @aurioz.bsky.social before we moved into together 🏡

Tried to archive some old text messages and somehow it's made me loathe almost every man that's ever come into my life but also makes me not want to delete any of the messages

your nerdy gym bro sending progress pics be like

took a break from saving the universe to snap a pic

Went to target and only spent 20$

No! Rot and die :)

He definitely needed some throat after this debate let me fly to NY real quick

I may need to wear underwear with this costume

27 🎂

TELL MY SEXY FRIEND HBD NOW 🔫

27 🎂

Men stop leaving your fucking pubes in public urinals challenge: level impossible

Internet is becoming a very dark place and idk how much longer I can be on Twitter or any other social media tbh

Next time this app logs me out I'm deleting it deadass

Good morning from me and the bane of my existence ☀️

Bf had me outside in 85° weather at 8 am so I had to pretend I didn't want to die

Check bank account before work: sigh Check bank account at lunch (before buying lunch): -200 dollars I haven't even BOUGHT ANYTHING

I really hate living here I wish my man was travel size I would just put him in my backpack and move us to Tsushima

happy monday bsky!

Bluey pajama pros: cute ✅ Bluey pajama cons: dick falls out every two steps ❌

Thirsty

Why are the pumpkin candles from target so fucking cheaply made this year???? Some of them literally wouldn't even close because the adhesive already wore off and that was in the aisle???

hey what’s up hello

How am I expected to leave the bed every day when I can feel my bfs morning wood against my butt :/

Daredevil confirmed in rivals