going to my friend’s engagement to my ex because i’m not a loser and can tell when people are meant to be together

(tmi) what’s the alpha version of being in heat because that’s what’s happening to me right now

damn chat she wants me so bad

i miss genshin

just survived two 24hours shift back to back (i got sick)

he genuinely makes me feel so unemployed

eren get behind me i’ll protect you from people who don’t understand you

nothing like eating my warm stale veggies AFTER my 26 hours shift that i prepared to eat DURING it (i have consumed 2L of soda and 0L of water)

some people need to get off my cock

coming in late to work cause no one will notice 😁😁😁 my boss walking in front of me 😰😰😰😰

one time kaz and i got so frustrated with a puzzle that we just threw it in the trash and pretended it didn’t even exist. (just letting it go would’ve been losing)

my theory is that weight scales at the gym purposely add an extra 5KGS to make you want to go to the gym more

“hacked” and my password is “i<3kaz”

yesterday was cold

no matter how woke and progressive a white man acts at the end of the day he’s a white man

imagine you try and complain about me and the only thing you can think of is “his job is too demanding he doesn’t have free time” yeah that’s what happened with my ex lol

currently in the middle east what do you guys want as souvenirs

“not too risky” he said and he was /gen

kaz is so bad at flirting it’s a miracle he managed to bag his bf

chat do i quit my job so i can no longer have 24hours shifts?

hypothetically speaking if i got the chance to just hypothetically kiss my married coworker i might hypothetically take it. only hypothetically of course.

i’ll never forget my first time watching bnha and kaz warning me “don’t judge the blond bitch too fast” only for my first impression of bakugou to be “he’s the only smart character in here….he’s just like me”

my patient almost died today! 😁 rough day

24 hours shift today…… will i go insane….. tune in…..

cardans bereals are either him in his room nerding out or in a hospital with blood all over the place

if you want to flirt with a guy and compliment him just say “have you been going to the gym?” followed by “you got bigger” EVERY guy loves to hear that TRUST ME!!! (unless he’s a twink then tell him he looks breedable i guess)

my daughter (cat) got a bf and suddenly I get dads who say their daughters aren’t allowed to date until they’re 50 BECAUSE WDYM MY GORGEOUS DAUGHTER LIKES THAT FUCKING LOSER

just placed the best order ever

i simply choose to ignore all the times i accidentally pricked myself with a patient’s used needle (i might be cooked)

us

cardan and i are like when the ocean and the forest meet, two vastly different places and yet together it somehow works out

i LOVE eating cerelac it’s so good and yummy idc if it says it’s for infants i need my nutrients too

i need to launch him into the sun

i wish you guys worked with me cause i have so many funny work-related jokes

trying to explain the dynamic cardan and i have got to an outsider is unnecessarily complicated cus that man is my soulmate fr but we’re also strictly platonic, so platonic in fact that cardan sometimes gets parental over me but that’s literally my bro fr.

decided to appropriate white american culture today and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast

i love deku a concerning amount of

you need!!!! to nerd out!!!!!!

letting jason quote retweet someone’s tweet about batman using my account as a bday gift

a girl just asked for my snapchat??? men in female dominated fields?? women in male dominated fields??? idk

all might is so cool in concept i wish he didn’t suck ass

i want to talk about the superman movie but jason will literally shoot me because he still didn’t watch it

every time i use slang i hear kaz and jason laugh at me from across the world

AI could’ve been so good with the way it helps people especially elderly with translating/summarizing labels, texts, any important documents they might not be able to interpret on their own but instead people decided to use it to make shitty art

someone i’m supposed to work with for the next 3months just asked me out………………….

fucking finally

childe….……

nurses rant about other doctors to me because i’m just that much better

i hate working out but i need to be able to open every jar for my future wife

told cardan im thinking of buying new perfume and this is the shit he’s sending me