it was already dark out at 4:30pm do you understand how brave i am for not killing myself yet

( a restless slumber, tears falling down cheeks as he sleeps. )

( sleep won't take him despite the exhaustion seeping in his bones. )

dazai still couldn't wrap his head around it. oda had a child? oda's child was alive, and a mafioso? what had mori fed to yuuto about oda? the thoughts open up a cavern in his soul. ( ... )

// destroying myself emotionally by replying to the oda family

" you're ... " hands frozen in mid-air, stops himself from saying what his first instinct is to say. ( you're odasaku. ) he knows that's not the case, because odasaku is dead, and he's emotional because of the date, and therapy and medications aren't helping. ( --> )

a touch that should bring comfort only serves to send shivers down dazai's spine. hands shoot upward to touch phantom lingering, heart freezing when he finds nothing there. " oda ... odasaku ... " murmurs, swallows the knot in his throat. he thought his medications were working.

after all the effort ( the torture, the penance ) he had gone through to have a new start, his reputation still precedes him. not that dazai yearns for approval from strangers, but this is different. he's looking into the eyes of his late friend -- his best friend -- no, it's not him, ( --> )

he forces himself to hide his reaction, though there's no avoiding the flash of terror in his expression. odasaku wasn't the only oda on earth, but... " i'm dazai, " tone carefully controlled, " osamu dazai. "

// dazai can't have a normal conversation with yuuto to save his life

oh. he hadn't had anyone evade him so well, other than of course chuuya, and...oda, who could predict dazai's movements unless dazai touched him. dazai now knew yuuto's identity, but being reminded of oda so suddenly pangs his heart, especially this season. " ah, it was a joke, my bad. "

coughs into his hand. and touches youto's shoulder with his germy hand.

coughs into his hat.

coughs and heaves on the tl.

#文スト #BSD #dazai #DazaiOsamu #chuuya #soukoku #skk Double trouble

// who want me

// i deleted x from my phone pay attention to me

meow

yeah #bsd #fyozai #inktober2024

little things #fyozai #bsd #fanart

bluesky's open, quote one art to promote yourself! #fyodor #dazai #bsd #fyozai

#skk #bsd #dachuu #太中

💙🩷 #bsd #skk #soukoku

my old skk pfps.... #bsd #art #skk #soukoku #ghostpetrichor_pfp

dazai 15

maid dazai !? #BSD #Dazai

#文スト #BSD #dazai #dazaiosamu

#art #bsd #Dazai #Chuuya

painted in April #bsd #bungostraydogs #bungoustraydogs #bsddazai #dazai

Swan Lake Fyozai ✨ #bsd #bungostraydogs #anime #fyodor #dazai

Dazai artwork rkgk #bsd

#文スト #BSD #dazai Bouquet

b!dazai 😋💖 #bsd #dazai #bungoustraydogs #osamudazai #beastbsd

warmth . . . #dazai #bsd #bsdart