peticion para traer de vuelta el insulto "mamerto"

Kinda feeling feelings today

tryin to hold back a fart during 69 be more stressful than being a window cleaner in 9/12 💀💀💀💀

Drunk as fuck happy i didnt kms

i have just discovered that it does, in fact, jiggle

4/10 day. Needed comforting and didnt get it. More crazy mother stuff. Didnt see gf. Didnt have ANY time to study and had to prepare and put up 8 massive shelves instead (my hands hurt). Throat hurts a lot. Shit ass day man.

how do i hide reposts from followers

no tranner has all 3: - big dick - big titties - height above 1.72cm

bruh the shit i be sending my girl

i envy this nigga like you wouldn't believe

felt sexy for the first time in months

the fact that I got 100% confirmation of this... it haunts me...

Sali caminando con mi novia con el look mas LESBIANA MCLESBIANA del mundo y nos cruzamos OTRA PAREJA de lesbianas con nuestros mismos arquetipos y se sintio como q nuestras almas chocaron los 5

just saw the funniest possible combination to read while high.

she let me hit because i learned that the only way out is through

throw me to the wolves, i'll come back pregnant.

fellas is it a turn off to say "you're doing so well sweetie" as your girlfriend practices giving you hickies

damn my social life was great when i was single, people really want to hang w u when they wanna eat your ass. i'm sitting on movie rights, just need the right elevator pitch

its cool that you're 100% conscious your partner loves you but also 100% sure they're gonna leave you brutally and you're not gonna move on ever, it's stand up, you're just waiting for the punchline

kinda wish it was legal to pick other people's noses, sometimes i just wanna dig in there see whats goin on

confidant

kinda wish i could hug my gf rn man i wish sex wasn't such a responsibility and just fun more of the time, not just a tax to maintain relationships, i joke abt sex all the time but i wish it was like going to a theme park, optional but fun if you agree it's goingto happen. that said i miss sucking d

2mg clona and 2 beers got me feeling like a ps2 character

me tryna play hades while my friend tries to bottom me

My best friend keeps plotting elaborate schemes to get me to watch her sucking dick i'm scared for my life

MAN ID RATHER NOT DISCOVER SHIT

just blew my gf can i can only describe that as a religious experience

PB&(B)J NIGHTTTT ate a pb&j while getting blown

just blew my girl mid conversation i will snack when i feel like it.

*clip of me torrenting a .exe of utorrent* me,hacker voice: "i'm in" badass guitar music plays, bombs go off, cars drive fast, bruce willis is there, michael Jackson is there but when he was black, robert downey junior when he was still addicted to drugs is there, floppy is there with nurse costume

*slaps my own mouth* "this bad boy can fit so much girlcock"

monogamy life aint easy i have like 4 different threesome opportunities at this current moment but my heart doesn't want to

creeped out a few of my gf's friends today by doing weird deductions on the fly by pure instinct saw my best friend made a new friend best day ever

how does one politely request one's gf to (very politely and respectfully) do cnc where i'm the victim

god i wanna suck some dick so bad right now

spring got me acting up next time i get ahold of my gf i'm changing the shape of her throat

just did the deduction thing with a classmate todau JUST BARELY managed to play it off being a normal person

wanna cum but dont wanna jack off. this world is a fucking prison

tengo la switch 2 con el mario kart world @number-one-warned.rat.mom @floppyearfriend.bsky.social u already know what time it is

holy shit this post was satire but i ended up bringing up the subject to my girl and she said she would like that i memed myself into becoming polyamorous holy shit

Become polyamorous was NOT on my 2025 bingo card but here we are

girl I met at book club today just recommended me signalis