I will be funding the construction of an enormous maze. It might look like 50 mi² of forest fully cleared of invasive plants, but rest assured, it has been carefully designed to get you lost. The paths are lined with poison ivy and raspberry brambles to prevent cheating. Cash prizes for the winners.

And that’s even before depreciation and insurance!

I’d be shocked if we beat out Atlanta, but Baltimore has to be solidly in the top five

So is there a world where we yell at the Banner enough to get them to retract the article, or should I just cancel my subscription now and save myself the trouble?

Kelvin Kiptum. The best marathon runner the world had ever seen, struck down in his prime.

Getting really tired of the “people aren’t having children because they can’t afford it” takes I’m sure that’s true for some people, but I don’t want to have kids and that wouldn’t change even if you paid me. I got a vasectomy at 23 to make sure I never did.

The Reformatory The Fisherman The Secret History

You’d think if the parks were so full of surprises the author might be able to name one

Conservatives eat a bean challenge (impossible!)

Sure, reporting an illegally parked car slows down my ride home, and sure, I get harassed by people who think they should be able to park in the bike lane, but at least I can rest easy knowing that DOT will show up in a week to tell me that the car is gone

Vegan except for the part where gnats are filter-fed into my mouth when I run

1. I got all the questions right. 2. Children should not have to read religious dogma for standardized tests. 3. Either the Banner mangled this passage or John Paul II badly needed an editor. It’s like he never met a comma he didn’t like.

So hyped for this. I’ve hardly seen anyone talk about the show but it’s so much fun

Currently imagining a Tom Clancy novel where eco-terrorists false flag an attack on a Gulf state to make gas so expensive that Americans can’t drive and somehow real life is even less plausible than that

As much as I liked Rogue One when I watched it, it doesn’t hold up after Andor. Jyn Erso should have been replaced by a combination of Kleya (for the cool secret agent stuff) and Wil (for the Saw Gerrera connections).

Wild news to wake up to. The two-hour-mark has finally been broken.

@bencollins.bsky.social please?

At this point I think the internet will be down not because anyone pulled the plug, but because everyone will be too excited

If you’ve never looked up at the ceiling in Target, they have a security camera every ten feet. It’s super creepy.

Incredible news!

There’s a similar problem with using PTAs to fund school programs. You can have two public schools that look equal on paper because they get the same amount of government funding, but one has rich parents that can bankroll arts programs/international trips/etc, and the other doesn’t.

Evil. We need nuclear disarmament now.

Extremely minor Pitt spoilers: why is it that TV characters always say “I’m a vegan” and not “I’m vegan”? I’ve literally never heard anyone say “I’m a vegan”

T-4 minutes!

Does anyone have recommendations for a rack-mounted wired bike tail light? The one that came with my bike (spanninga solo) is badly designed and I’ve already had to replace it once because the wiring broke.

Genuinely don’t understand why we would require cursive beyond nostalgia. It’s not a useful skill. If the goal is good handwriting, teach good handwriting. If the goal is fine motor skills, teach drawing or painting or any other kind of art that kids can actually enjoy.

Baffled that “separate the art from the artist” wound up meaning “pretend that the artist isn’t evil” and not “force the artist to relinquish the rights to their art”

@amalelmohtar.com it’s here! Can’t wait to read it!

I would like to humbly propose that we change our traffic lights to not have left turn into active crosswalks This post brought to you by the driver who almost hit me while I was in the crosswalk with the crossing light on

There are basically two kinds of environmentalist. There’s this kind, and then there’s those of us who recognize that the alternative to density in one place is sprawl somewhere else.

Fun fact: the more time you spend stretching, the longer you can put off doing your workout

Where are Baltimore’s senators and delegates? I’m sick and tired of our city having representation that’s actively hostile to improving the city.

I’ve been following a training plan on my gps watch and a fun thing it does is lengthening the runs the closer I get to the day I’m supposed to do them I’ve been watching tomorrow’s tempo run go from 19 minutes (when I checked last Friday) to 24 minutes (yesterday) to 25 minutes (this afternoon)

It’s currently 65° and 81% humidity, and I think this is plenty Maybe this year we don’t have to do 100° and 95% humidity

Excited to see that the task force settled on eventual closure but it’s very funny to learn that the Brew counts Friends of the Jones Falls as a community leader and not Bikemore

“The president causes massive surge in gas prices” is the sort of thing that should result in a banner year for an electric car company like tesla and yet

Entering new frontiers in “the president doesn’t have a button that makes the economy better but he sure does have a button that makes the economy worse”

We’re going to have to pick an American city to become synonymous with bringing fascists to justice. If you want it to be yours, now is the time to start lobbying.

Started a new training plan and I’m embarrassed to learn that after all these years of running, it turns out that the secret to getting a runner’s high is just going slower

End the car chases, disarm the cops, and put intelligent speed assistance in cars. People don’t have to die like this.

I know the bar is in hell, but come on.

Not going to do anything about it because I like not being in jail, but if I were going to park my car in a cycle track, I wouldn’t leave the keys in the ignition

After seeing how people have driven this week I don’t want to hear anyone complain about how bikes slow down traffic Like I knew narrow lanes worked in theory but apparently once you get down to a ten-foot lane every driver is like “help! if I go faster than 5 mph I’ll hit something!”

So now that the city is starting to plow alleys are they going to do the bike lanes or are we just waiting until the snow melts

Snow-covered bus stops and sidewalks make getting around Baltimore a dangerous endeavor

@bmorecitydot.bsky.social what’s the point of having a 311 request for snow and ice on the sidewalk if you’re going to reject it because it’s icy?

If you, as a business, have the resources to plow your parking lot and open for business, it’s a real dick move to dump all the snow on the sidewalk you’re legally responsible for clearing

Saw a post from one of the city accounts showing how to put in a 311 request for street plowing What do you mean I have to ask? Isn’t it your job to know whether you’ve plowed my street or not?

The funniest part of this (made-up) story is that restaurant doors lock and unlock from the inside They were “locked in the restaurant” the same way I’m locked in my house every time I close the door

People who advocate for the Second Amendment don’t care about tyranny, or self-defense, or any of the other things they claim to hold sacred. What they actually care about are having toys and shooting oppressed people the government would have happily shot, too. Neither of those things are rights.