I told my daughter that if she had been born a boy we were going to name her Weenis. I've never seen such side-eye!

Just got banned from Facebook. No explanation. Blessing in disguise.

Happy National Rubber Ducky Day to all those who celebrate it!

There are only two types of rich people: The tall fat ones who are going to burn down the world and the tall thin ones who will be buying fine art while the world burns.

Playing around with scriptwriting. Got a note from one of my readers, 'Is it better to save the prosthetic ass for later?' Making art!

I watched the film adaptation of McCarthy’s ‘Blood Meridian’. Less than impressed. However, Martin Short’s portrayal of the Kid was inspired.

After complaints about Timothy Dexter's A Pickle for the Knowing Ones (1797) being entirely devoid of punctuation, in future editions the eccentric businessman supplied a supplemental page so that people “may peper and solt as they please”: https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/dexter-pickle

If you fancy it, you'll fancy it even more saving 25%.

I realise when tarot appears in fiction I have an immediate, possibly unfair, reaction. Tarot in the book. Book in the bin. What's your reading red line?

10% of my parenting is having tiny humans to show all my favourite movies. Is 8 and 9 too early for 'Night of the Hunter'?

Sobering take on the economics of publishing in 2025 from @samjordison.bsky.social. Books are incredibly cheap compared to other forms of, uh, entertainment. That's probably got to change. samj.substack.com

‘She and Toklas lived between two worlds – the official avant-garde world of Hemingway and Picasso, and the unofficial lesbian avant-garde of Natalie Barney and Janet Flanner and Ethel Mars and Maud Hunt Squire.’ Adam Thirlwell on Gertrude Stein: www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...

One of my wife’s French friends when finding out who long we’ve been married asked her if I was her first ‘sex boy’. I’m using this title for all administrative forms now. Marital Status: spouse’s sex boy.

I’ve been invited to my own event. I’m tempted to respond to the organisers to tell them on a number of occasions the author has touched me inappropriately.

On the tram a nursing mother said Bon appétit to her baby. That’s peak French cuteness there.

There Is No Meant to Be" is available for preorder! My publisher promised that if I have 250 preorders that I get a case of prosecco left over from last year's Christmas party. 500 preorders before March & they'll go halfsies on a vintage George Foreman! uk.bookshop.org/p/books/ther...

I present the most french of french delicacies. Pruneaux fourrés. Some french prune farmers decided the only way to improve their plums was to stuff them with more plums. Pruneaux fourrés are prunes stuffed with prune paste. They are magic.

They call them proofs because it always feels like an elaborate hoax until you see them. Book 2 coming next March.

@officialmelbrooks.bsky.social My daughters, 8 and 9, watched Spaceballs and have talked about nothing else. Lots of questions but glorious to see humour reach across generations.

I needed to look up my French editor's name to make sure I spell it right (his name has so many accent marks it looks like a cactus) and I found this great photo. This was the first event in France at Librairie Le livre et la tortue in Paris. That's pretty much how I remember the event going.

Gethan Dick signed some copies of Water in the Desert, Fire in the Night around Dublin recently. In case you didn't get one, we also have some limited, signed bookplates!

Otto von Bismarck was reported to have challenged Rudolf Virchow to a duel. Virchow, being entitled to choose the weapons, chose two pork sausages, one infected with the roundworm Trichinella; the two would each choose and eat a sausage. Bismarck reportedly declined. @wikipedia.org

Whenever my daughters struggle to open a jar, I do it and say 'Raw Power!' #iggypop Now when they need me to open a jar or lid they just shout, 'Papa! I need Raw Power!' I'm not going to lie. It gives me a little boost. 💪

Over on our Substack today, the inestimable @jarredmcginnis.bsky.social picks the books that inspire his own writing, books that push the form of nonfiction and memoir - from Hong Kingston to Harry Crews. hinterlandnonfiction.substack.com/p/the-non-fi...

They say you shouldn’t live your dreams through your children. They are wrong. Behold last night’s dinner. My daughter wanted quadruple potato. I made it happen.

If I said it once, I've said it a million times, pride flags need more sweet-ass battle axes. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:La...

I know what song I'm picking for Karaoke.

I told the girls if they clean up their room I'll put on a 'clean up' song. Scourge of Iron by Cannibal Corpse It worked!

How's your french coming along?

What I see when you post pictures of your kids on facebook.

I was listening to Merle Allin talking about his brother GG's artistic development. There was a great line. ‘It was a gradual progression. It wasn’t like he shitting on stage in ’78.’ So, if you need a little reminder that art takes time and patience, there you go.

They just don't name towns like they used to.

My favourite cover still.

After Sappho is a Time Magazine Book of the Year! time.com/collection/m...

ChatGPT says I've made a 'significant contribution' to the world of contemporary literature. Significant. I, for one, welcome our robot overlords.

Crossed a street against the light. Youngest told me, that's bad parenting.

Have some Shirley Jackson wisdom

And if doubts distract you, in vain will you seek sympathy from your fellow men. -Melville

Just received the most lovely message from a reader who enjoyed my last two books. Has cheered me up no end. Do tell writers, or leave reviews, when you like what they do. You never know, you might reach them at a time they really needed to hear something positive. 💙📚

Is it The Street of Crocodiles by Bruno Schulz that you people keep going on about?

The Florentine Codex, written by Indigenous scholars in Spanish and Nahua in the 16th century, is now fully searchable in English, Spanish and Nahua thanks to the Getty — including the nearly 2,000 images which have all been tagged. www.latimes.com/entertainmen...

Tonight was the first annual Lyra McKee lecture hosted by NUJ It was incredibly emotional, so inspiring and such a celebration of Lyra’s life and work. Really grateful to have been there. Thanks to all who shared and contributed.

Instagram is great if you want to know how mediocre art by pretty people is made.

The wren is all done for this year on the WP HQ back wall… expect more bird related and WP updates here.

Halloween Florida style.

90s? Yeah I was there man in the shit with grunts.

Chicago was a masterpiece. The performance he got from Zeta Jones. Perfect.

I was reminded of the time that during a book signing someone asked for an inspirational quote in addition to my signature. I panicked and wrote the first thing that came to mind. 'it it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose.'🙃

I introduced my daughters to an important American folk art tradition. The cool S.

I'm pleased that the algorithm got everyone of these wrong. I'm particularly happy to see the panopticon thinks I'm Arkin's John Singer.