You ever see an outfit so cunty that you feel like your looking directly into the sun?

I wish I had serotonin and disposable income, but all I have is this dump truck ass and debt.

I’m always thinking about hole though..

Saw your dad at the aquarium.

I saw a trailer for “The Indestructible Boy” last night and if I have to see another trailer for a movie about a child that “suffers” from autism i’m gunna kermit. Make the story line about the dumb dad going to therapy and working on his ablism. Fuckin nerds…..

I’ve watched too many reality dating shows recently and have decided to do a mini series of cryptids on dates. Mordecai’s got a moth tongue and can absolutely slonk your shit stupid style.. but he does prefer the company of lamps.

Don’t yell at me, I’ll get hard.

I’m so excited to tap into my unhinged bank of memes on this app. Bout to fuck around and release my inhibitions.

Xanax would be a great name for an alien planet

Tag yourself. I am born to be a liar.

Working at a university has repetitively shown me that you do not have to be smart to have a Ph.D. On god, we are all just dumb bitches.

Every queer I know @ meta rn.