My wife and I have a star rule. If for some reason one of us just happens to be propositioned by the star of our choice for a night (never to be forgotten) it’s 100% ok. Totally unrelated I’m a huge fan of Cate Blanchett.

Want a super protein-rich recipe w so much protein you’ll be overflowing w protein? Try my protein balls made out of 56 amino acids held together w cottage cheese, the dreams of desperate influencers + whey glue.

I’ll just leave this here. (The Guardian) “He (🍊🤡) has the lowest approval rating at the 100-day mark of any president in the past 80 years.”

Overheard on public transport. “I’m worried my parents aren’t going to be able to retire. And they’re old.” (Me… awwwwww) “How old?” “My dad is 51 or 52.” (Me… DUDE)

The White House-Amazon rift is really challenging the notion that “the enemy of your enemy is your friend”

My sock keeps slipping down beneath my heel so I’m justified in murdering someone right? That’s how the law works now right?

My dad just sent me off to the Tampa airport at 5:30 am with a homemade breakfast sandwich he surprised me with and I honestly feel like the luckiest 50-something year old daughter in the world. He has not always been like this. Sappy octogenerian Arnold is kinda the best.

Hell has officially frozen over. My father, a pre-Trumpian life long Republican, is now a Rachel Maddow fan.

It’s oil your wooden kitchen tools try not to think about the world day, celebrated every March 29th.

I have a bad case of the I don’t wannas.

After the last Severance, I'm fixing to make t-shirts that say "MUSK DEVOUR MY FECULENCE"

Just a typical convo with my wife.

Can someone explain to me how loving MAGA America, wrapping yourself in Republicanism and the flag, patriotism and GO U.S.A. also means defunding the fuck out of the Veteran's Administration? My wife is an intern social worker there and we have some questions.

Cooked a 6 course meal last night for 12 that began as a surprise birthday party and ended with the host taking a knee and surprising everyone with a proposal to her girlfriend. Tears and much needed joy all around.

shit sucks. instant mental health boost: do something that helps 1 person immediately. This hard-working human needs $ to pay for an ASL interpreter and it's $$$. $5 will help.

H is for Hero.

Life imitating art. Also is it obvious we are obsessed with our pets? Also now that we’ve all gone mad, the pets they don’t judge.

I feel like we’re not asking the right questions re: the mysterious deaths of Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa, namely: why was their dead dog found in a bathroom closet?

What did the Fascists accomplish last week? 5. Emo band The Postal Service changed their name to Amazon Mail 5/5

What did the Fascists accomplish last week? 4. Calling Zelinsky a "dictator", an actual dictator consummated his marriage to his longterm Russian boyfriend 4/5

What did the Fascists accomplish last week? 3. More spewing nuttery frothed forward from the self-imposed King.

What did the Fascists accomplish last week? 2. 30,000 beds have been made in record time in the latest episode of the ICE reality game "Guantanamo"

What did the Fascists accomplish last week? 1. Bannon made Musk's Nazi salute look weak, earning 14 points for himself in Fox's latest tally. 1/5

Bras. The way I throw them off me when I enter my house it’s like my torso is on fire.

Just seen: Organic eggs $15 lololololololololololol

People get dogs because when they greet u they are saying w/ their tails & their eyes that u are the best thing in their whole world, their #1 hero. People get a cat (when they already have a dog) to remind them that 1 of u is a needy idiot & the other is an enabler & this helps to ground u.

R. E. S. I. S. T.

Apparently (according to fashionistas) dark eye circles are “in” because looking like you actually got punched in the face, and not just symbolically by your country, echoes the zeitgeist of the people.

I really need contextual spellcheck. Either that, or I'm gonna have to follow through on my typed menu and make Chai tea panda cotta tonight and I can tell you it won't just be the panda that's pissed off.

I won’t ask “how are you doing” because unless you’re an orange-inclined white cis straight male with yacht-loads of money or the equivalent in delusion, you’re probably just treading water. Remember to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. The resistance will require our endurance.

Flashback cringe moment to 3 weeks ago when I joked with Pati, the lunch cook at the Spanish Experience Center language school in PV about my garlic allergy: "Mi vida está en tus dedos!" That's right. I said to her, "my life is in your fingers"

The best word in Spanish is hablaba. (I was speaking) It sounds like what it is. My other favorite word is: albóndigas (meatballs). No reason.

Looking through my prep list just now and apparently I have to follow through on sous viding a rack of lamp.

The irony not lost on any of *us* is that they don't trust government so have now so thoroughly corrupted government that it's not trustworthy. My head hurts.

I have never been as resistapissed to doing my taxes as I am in this moment. That’s not a typo. It’s the only word that felt right.

Ok so at dinner tonight the server and I had developed some rapport and she reached her hand out and I grabbed it with not just one hand but then sandwiched it with my other hand and then slowly, painfully, realized she was reaching for my menu.

Have you noticed as you age that you’re starting to talk out loud to yourself for the first time or that it’s increasing? Theories as to why this might be happening? For me I think it’s because I can no longer hear my inner thoughts.

You know that feeling when you get back from vacation and you’re overwhelmed by the amount of emails in your inbox about fascist government takeovers in your country?

MethCat esta noche.

Why I love Mexico and Mexican culture part 3: 1. The majority of folks you say buenos días to will smile and reply if they don’t greet you first. 2. You need small bills here but you can’t get small bills here. It’s an ouroboros and it feeds on $50 pesos.

Any help for Gracie? She needs a forever home @criticaleyes.bsky.social perhaps you can offer a link for monetary donations to help with expenses?

Why I love Mexico part 2: the bell at the Spanish language school is literally a person ringing a bell between periods. It’s so quaint and low tech I never want it to change.

School doodle

Today’s methcat pic

You ready for a little story?

Anyone in La that can help adopt this sweet one?

I just said to my new friend the uber driver after an hour chatting in Spanish “mi cabeza es como queso en el sol”. (My head is like cheese in the sun) I can feel the language learning dendrites reaching across the void. As my Spanish has progressed, my English has deteriorated.

Why I love Mexico: before Spanish school I went to drop clothes off at the lavandería. Internet said it opens at 8. Sign at door says 8:30. Man at taqueria next door says “talvez 9?” (Maybe 9) and then offers to bring over my clothes when they open so I can get to class on time.

Me: I’m allergic to garlic Friend: and she’s a chef! Waiter in Mexico: Sad. That is like, how do you say? Mechanic with no hands.