Happy 10% of The Year Is Gone Day! You're decimating 2026!

My hands are so shredded by the cold and ezcema that my fingerprints didn't register as fingers at border control

Currently basking in the absolute warmth of a -1°C Manchester Feels Like, after spending last night in a -17°C Berlin Feels Like.

3 whole degrees! Berlin rejoices!

We claim to like croissants in the UK but the most basic bakery in mainland Europe makes us look like crispy flaky failures. Also the croissants hue hue hue etc

Possible alternative artforms to invest in once AI has finally destroyed all digital content veracity and quality: -Sculpture -Hairdressing -Getting punched and punching things -Melting ice -A fifth funny but also kinda workable thing

I'm so miserabappy

We could always let the bots have the Internet, and go out and make ice sculptures in the sun.

Sometimes I wish the silent majority would shut the fuck up.

Also like, when I was a kid we were told this was seven seconds..? Either the math is getting better or the cigarettes are getting worse

Every cigarette takes 20 minutes off your life. But it's okay, it's the shit minutes at the end.

Adaptive phone charging directly punishes people who suffer from hyper-focus insomnia, in this essay I will..

My problem with Walton Goggins being so good as the ghoul in #Fallout is that every time I see him in something else, I'm actively impressed by the quality of his prosthetic nose.

My new wall planner isn't arriving until at least the 8th so I think I might refuse to go back to work/reality until then too

Children of unquiet conflict homes throwing themselves under the bus on #TheTraitors like "Stop yelling at each other and yell at me! Then maybe you'll remember to feed me!"

Every film or feature presentation I watched fully for the first time in 2025. Highlights: Sinners, Thunderbolts, Fight or Flight, Kpop Demon Hunters, The Wild Robot Lowlights: Moana 2, Fall Guy, The Lost Lands, Gladiator II, Shout to Speak No Evil for living rent free in my head ever since.

The ITV sound mix on the #LondonNYE fireworks is so bad it has made them almost ominous and threatening.

T-shirts with only backprints are for people who want to be talked about without being talked to.

So the “figure out how to use it lest you be left behind” replies about ‘AI’ that have been popping up here strike me as inauthentic but also kind of funny because they grant the point that rather than an automation panacea these technologies are quite difficult to figure out how to use effectively

Manchester playing Newcastle tonight at Old Trafford, I am amusing myself by imagining them doing it with bloated stomachs and Baileys headaches #MUFC #NUFC

Ţ̵̣́̓͜I̵̼̳̱̘̗̔̎̇̚ͅN̷͙͈̔͗̓̏̐͝Y̴͚̜͔͈̩̏̈́̄͐̇́̆͠͠ͅ ̷̣̬̮̝͎̈́̈́̍̌̄͋̈́͋̕T̵̘̖̟̼͍̖́̂͆͆͒͑Ȉ̸̧̛̟̱͖̫͇̐̍͛̾͂͝ͅM̸̖͚̭͕͚͇̺̟͇͋̓̆̈́̍͌̆̅͒͘ ̵̟͈̤̘͎̩̽̐̃̉͛͊͛̕N̷̬̳̲̼̉̐̑E̷͖̱͛̑͊̃͠Ṿ̶͙̰̜̮̥͓̔Ȩ̶̞̝̺͛̚͜R̵̛͓̭̞͈͎̖̲͛̇̀̑͝͠ ̷̩͓̻͓͕̉̈́̓D̴̙̰̥̥̺̙̺̗̝͒͌̀̃͝Ì̶̡̧͓͉̫͎̘̲̘̜̓̐Ę̴̜̜͈̈̈́̎́̚͝D̶͖͙̘̠͈͍̽́̈́̓̋

Not with my parents this Christmas so I might argue with ChatGPT instead, just as pointless, racist, and bad for the environment.

So the "no mobility aids in the arena" wave is supposedly powered by the concern that a wrong'un might grab it and attack someone. For which, of course, people with accessibility needs must be punished. #Ableism #EverydayAbleism #DisabilityAwareness

The only difference between me and the kids that used to bully me for being bad at football is that I never grew up to play football professionally. 👀

"..and all along and down the Thames from Embankmemt up to Oxford and back out and down to Southend I heard the monster bellowing over the gnashing of its glass teeth.. WHERE'S YER POPPEH? WHERE'S YER POPPEH? WHERRRRE'S YERRRR POPPEHHHHH?"

Sorry/not sorry, Time-lad.. #WallaceAndGromit #DrWho

If satnav were actually any good they'd periodically yell house prices in the areas you were driving through.

As a usually-late person (yay, disability confluence!) it's always a nice feeling to be ready to go for an adventure an hour early, then have your travel companion tell you that you're actually two hours early. I don't know what irrelevant diversion I skipped to get here, but I'm smug, I mean glad.

"You have a stammer? My nephew has a stammer, you should go talk to him!" I mean yeah but it might take a while

Off-beat Opinion #264: It's better if some mess of a randomer sits next to you at the start of the journey, so you don't spend the whole thing worried if one's going to sit next to you.

Goodness that's a very Twitter Skeet.

Haircut today. Another evening of looking in the mirror wondering if my head would be more symmetrical if I'd been born by cesarean.

With the possibility that BlueSky might crumble next, I caught a brief glimpse of that moment when realised I had a shiny plinth that was impressive and desirable and.. nothing to put on it. The worst thing social media ever did was convince me to be good at social media. <conclusion goes here>

Ahh, it's the time for Spotify's misfiring #Halloween playlists.. The Cranberries are coming up any moment now..

Yelling "No, I refuse you!" to a stress headache is certainly my 2025 vibe.

Infinite #EverydayAbleism thread, may or may not keep up with this. #FND #Disability

Spanish latte is made with sweet condensed milk from sweet condensed Spanish cows.

Sometimes I have to remember while furiously knitting my parachute that it's also important and indeed vital to talk to the other passengers and enjoy as many of those little bottles of vodka as possible.

Gemini, which view do I like best?

A Slipknot-themed wig store called "Get This or Dye"

Every single time I have to contact customer service, and am presented with an AI chatbot, I end up being put through to a person. Every single time. EVERY single time. What's the point? How many companies and organisations are losing money through their death cult fixation on AI?

Briefly sold my soul (RE: boiled the ocean) to ask ChatGPT a medical question I couldn't get any search engine to understand. ChatGPT's conclusion was to "avoid walking in them" They are my feet. Good point well made, Barbara.

Watching Fargo season 5 and thinking about how a lot of contemporary literature/screenwriting is going to be based no later than 2019 for a while, because any later becomes a little too specific and complicated.

The chance that every single male main character I read or write about looks like a dark-haired adult version of Kevin Pilkington who I used to go to school with and haven't seen in 32 years is, well, it's pretty darn high.

Book: "A tall man with pale skin, his dark brown hair parted at the centre over his blue eyes as it cascaded down his green velvet jacket" My brain: "Yeah no cool, actually he looks like a human Darkwing Duck dressed as a cowboy and never takes his hand from his face" #AmReading #Reading

Nostalgia is a toxic impulse but also I miss the time when tech trends were things like "let's put everything in a translucent colored plastic case" instead of "let's add software to everything that lies and also accelerates climate change"

FURTHERMORE! I'm not okay with fire Pokémon / fire types / fire demons / efreet / other burny bois etc. having an assumed weakness to water entities and attacks. Fire BOILS water. Fire EVAPORATES water. Oily fire IGNORES water. #NoneOfThisMatters

Why are fire Pokémon resistant to fire attacks? I'm made of meat but it doesn't mean I get a defence bonus against being socked in the jaw.

Sick of repair/construction people and pre-scheduled deliveries acting like being early is doing me a favour. Being ten minutes early hits just the same as being ten minutes late. It's not convenient, it's a failure to make an appointment. 1WP/There by the grace of goodness go I etc..

Isn’t it weird that being up for something and being down for something essentially mean the same thing?