"..and all along and down the Thames from Embankmemt up to Oxford and back out and down to Southend I heard the monster bellowing over the gnashing of its glass teeth.. WHERE'S YER POPPEH? WHERE'S YER POPPEH? WHERRRRE'S YERRRR POPPEHHHHH?"

Sorry/not sorry, Time-lad.. #WallaceAndGromit #DrWho

If satnav were actually any good they'd periodically yell house prices in the areas you were driving through.

As a usually-late person (yay, disability confluence!) it's always a nice feeling to be ready to go for an adventure an hour early, then have your travel companion tell you that you're actually two hours early. I don't know what irrelevant diversion I skipped to get here, but I'm smug, I mean glad.

"You have a stammer? My nephew has a stammer, you should go talk to him!" I mean yeah but it might take a while

Off-beat Opinion #264: It's better if some mess of a randomer sits next to you at the start of the journey, so you don't spend the whole thing worried if one's going to sit next to you.

Goodness that's a very Twitter Skeet.

Haircut today. Another evening of looking in the mirror wondering if my head would be more symmetrical if I'd been born by cesarean.

With the possibility that BlueSky might crumble next, I caught a brief glimpse of that moment when realised I had a shiny plinth that was impressive and desirable and.. nothing to put on it. The worst thing social media ever did was convince me to be good at social media. <conclusion goes here>

Ahh, it's the time for Spotify's misfiring #Halloween playlists.. The Cranberries are coming up any moment now..

Yelling "No, I refuse you!" to a stress headache is certainly my 2025 vibe.

Infinite #EverydayAbleism thread, may or may not keep up with this. #FND #Disability

Spanish latte is made with sweet condensed milk from sweet condensed Spanish cows.

Sometimes I have to remember while furiously knitting my parachute that it's also important and indeed vital to talk to the other passengers and enjoy as many of those little bottles of vodka as possible.

Gemini, which view do I like best?

A Slipknot-themed wig store called "Get This or Dye"

Every single time I have to contact customer service, and am presented with an AI chatbot, I end up being put through to a person. Every single time. EVERY single time. What's the point? How many companies and organisations are losing money through their death cult fixation on AI?

Briefly sold my soul (RE: boiled the ocean) to ask ChatGPT a medical question I couldn't get any search engine to understand. ChatGPT's conclusion was to "avoid walking in them" They are my feet. Good point well made, Barbara.

Watching Fargo season 5 and thinking about how a lot of contemporary literature/screenwriting is going to be based no later than 2019 for a while, because any later becomes a little too specific and complicated.

The chance that every single male main character I read or write about looks like a dark-haired adult version of Kevin Pilkington who I used to go to school with and haven't seen in 32 years is, well, it's pretty darn high.

Book: "A tall man with pale skin, his dark brown hair parted at the centre over his blue eyes as it cascaded down his green velvet jacket" My brain: "Yeah no cool, actually he looks like a human Darkwing Duck dressed as a cowboy and never takes his hand from his face" #AmReading #Reading

Nostalgia is a toxic impulse but also I miss the time when tech trends were things like "let's put everything in a translucent colored plastic case" instead of "let's add software to everything that lies and also accelerates climate change"

FURTHERMORE! I'm not okay with fire Pokémon / fire types / fire demons / efreet / other burny bois etc. having an assumed weakness to water entities and attacks. Fire BOILS water. Fire EVAPORATES water. Oily fire IGNORES water. #NoneOfThisMatters

Why are fire Pokémon resistant to fire attacks? I'm made of meat but it doesn't mean I get a defence bonus against being socked in the jaw.

Sick of repair/construction people and pre-scheduled deliveries acting like being early is doing me a favour. Being ten minutes early hits just the same as being ten minutes late. It's not convenient, it's a failure to make an appointment. 1WP/There by the grace of goodness go I etc..

Isn’t it weird that being up for something and being down for something essentially mean the same thing?

Another season of #TheBear is being commissioned, because NOT ENOUGH OF YOU ARE COMING TO CHICAGO. We will keep doing this until you have FIXED OUR TOURISM ISSUES. Yes, we know it is listed as comedy despite being deeply stressful and often upsetting, COME TO CHICAGO TO MAKE IT STOP.

When we lived in Stockport there was a special brick in our back yard to commemorate Pope John Paul II's visit to Manchester in 1982 but we used it to kill a rat and had to throw it away.

So #EyesOfWakanda is further evidence on how media aimed at and certificated for children and young people increasingly throws unnamed characters into an absolute blender of death and murder like it's almost window dressing. "And that's why kids today are blah blah blah" - not quite, but something.

I'm a smart person. I checked middle Tesco, little Asda, 24-Hour Spar, Shah Convenience, Budget Store, 20-Hour Spar, Premier, Co-Op, Morrisons, B&M, big Asda.... THEN I checked if the product has been discounted. It has. #OCD #RabbitHolrle #DeepDive

I've not got #OCD and I don't like things "just so" On an unrelated topic, no shop or kiosk or newsagent or supermarket in a three mile radius has the fabric antibacterial spray I like. I know because I've checked.

Fascists cannot be "owned" in a debate—because they won the moment they were considered worthy of including in a conversation.

Furthest I've been: N: Húsafell, Iceland S: Los Cristianos, Tenerife E: Kitee, Finland W: Reykjavík, Iceland U: I dunno, a plane or something D: Euston, Bank branch goes pretty deep

Disability is (sometimes) ordering a chicken pizza from Deliveroo despite having an uncooked chicken pizza in the fridge. #FND

caring about things? what are you, some kind of queer? shut up and eat your slop

I don't tell you how I'm feeling, because 90% of the time as soon as I am with you I am never worse than "Yeah, not bad" Maybe "How are you?" needs to be supplanted with "How were you until now?"

Last night I had a dream that I couldn't write endings. #SolidGoldJoke #Writing

“Helping our citizens literally survive is too hard, but what if we made it difficult for them to have a wank?”

Why I 🧡 the web. drawafish.com Just draw the fish. Trust me. 🐟

I've got a magical walking stick. Apparently it turns invisible whenever there's no seats on public transport.

I wouldn't mind if 2025 wasn't apparently still the era of seeing a typed mistake and responding "lol, I think you mean blah blahber blah blah"

Christ just one day where my crippled fingers don't throw cabbage* a random word into my sentences would be nice. *Hahahaha it's fucking hilarious when it's done on purpose, hahahaha

We're thinking about couples therapy. Our relationship is solid, it's just that we both need therapy and can't afford for each of us to go separately.

Like maybe one day Boomers will finally reveal why they think we want to see selected pictures of our own faces on our birthdays. Until then, *jazzy avian brand jingle earworm*

Photo collage cards be like "Hello, you are doing a birthday. This is how I see you."

Switching Instagram to private months ago was definitely the move, but I've only just clocked the leftover 120~ non-mutual follows that I do. not. recognise. Like shutting Ghostface in the house with you, or something..

"We couldn't have done BIG THING on the budget we had." Then you don't *do* big thing, you find high quality ways around it, the same way that small-budget media has for decades.

I'm finding it hard to get concerned about some of the things I haven't unpacked from coming off holiday 5 days ago when there are still things I haven't unpacked from moving house 7 years ago.

I can do anything that I want to! I just need four or five days to recover from it afterwards.. ♿🩼 (seriously though, RIP my right ankle, get that bad 'un in a bacta tank) #FND

Being "That mad one with the walking stick" in the pit at #MangataFestival was beautiful, particularly how everyone treated me like nothing abnormal after a minute of showing my evidence. Yes, I am disabled, but like Lady Danbury I can pick my moments to dance, even if I have to pay for them later.