sharing an apple with a doctor: "of course, I'll keep away if you eat the whole thing! i don't want friends who can't share."

sharing an apple with a computer engineer: "can i have a bite in a bit" *chewing* "no it's like 8x too big"

Friday afternoon: weakened Friday evening: weekend Explaining to Barbie how the Friday night boys' hang was: We kenned An Irishman describes a young Superman: Wee Kent

The good Lord made me too tall to work on a submarine and too short to play basketball, and I've come to terms with that. I'm the right height to walk, bike, and ride buses and trains, though.

If I can do sensitivity analysis to determine whether to go to Koblenz via Mainz or via Limburg to account for inevitable delays, MnDOT should be able to do sensitivity analysis on their safety models for Rethinking I-94.

I've been waiting for the most anticipated sequel in history, threequila.

To clear up a common misconception: the Massachusetts city was originally known as Lol, but Daniel Webster changed its spelling to Lowell to get back at the British.

a few nights ago i rode a bus for about 15 minutes or so. once it got close to the stop near my home i hit the button to request a stop. soon after, the bus driver stopped the bus and let me off

I'm going to tell my kids that it was the Providence Lint Roller.

Car Size xkcd.com/3167/

What do we want? Purple prose! When do we want it? As the sun next reaches its zenith like the hawk in repose, muscles coiled like a slinky and eyes keen upon the rabbit moving in jerking hops along the primary school fence as if some occult hand were tugging it with great effort on a slack string.

I crashed my two ships of Theseus like 617 business hours ago. Still waiting to hear from the insurance company. (Before you ask, yes, I did only insure one ship, but I gradually replaced its parts and made a new ship with the originals)

Mainz in its current iteration does not border the Main. The Main enters the Rhein on the other side of the latter from Mainz. We should consider changing the name to Rheinz.

As a child, literature led me to believe that dogcatchers would be society's greatest villains. Boy howdy, was that wrong.

May I present the antimnemonic of antimnemonics? To fail to remember the name of every human being, just remember that you wouldn't even be able to read and pronounce a significant portion of them. Give up on your own name. Refer to others by their most endearing trait.

once I escape the bleakish circuits of the present for the coliseums and cuirasses of the camouflageable future, I shall certainly celebrate with jugfuls of eisweins

I went geohashing today and saw @adamchase.bsky.social and @thewheatgerm.bsky.social of @jetlagthegame.bsky.social at the Nürnberg Hbf. I just said hi and scurried off because they, like myself, looked stressed out from being Deutsche Bahned. Good luck on finding/chasing/running from Sam, guys!