Happy New Year to all (except those of you still clinging to the Julian Calendar)

Got wood 🍆

In yonder hill there stood a coo

My niece Ms Winnie. Having none of my crap as per

Off to munch on a fat bird. Laterz x

Aunt Bessie is doing a lot of work with all your Christmas meal prep this morning!

While you lot are doing unmentionable things with young men and eggnog, I’m having a more spiritual time

I would do a voice reveal, but my mellifluous baritone would set you all a quiver 💅

At least you could’ve popped them to the charity shop, @mkmike.bsky.social apple.news/ARSKvTsXkRzC...

The holiday adverts have started.

Couldn’t agree more!

Nights are drawing out

Just seen a post embracing a ‘classic 90’s’ Christmas

Just popped to the pub

I do hope everyone has turned their sprouts up to a fierce boil ready for the big day!

Have you come to terms with the whole decimalisation business, @mkmike.bsky.social ? www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Subtle

First batch of mince pies in the oven. Apparently you can buy them!

Parenting seems to involve giving your child your phone to shut them up. Is your child actually on a spectrum or are you just an incompetent parent?

I love him From booze to black belts: Virginia's drunk raccoon suspected in karate shop break-in www.bbc.com/news/article...

Rich food at lunchtime is no longer my friend

Show me your

Yummy

Guess where.

Cozy

Maybe it’s not the acting. Maybe Russell T Davies writes dialogue like it’s a kids programme from 1985

Unpopular opinion but Russel Tovey can’t act. Nice to look at though.

Guess where one is using one’s membership 💅

Lovely to see you’ve upgraded your Christmas getaway this year @mkmike.bsky.social

Who else will pull out of that European Singing Competition?

Jesus Christ apple.news/AAw1f85uVTpy...

Is it up? 🎄

Off to that London. I do hope there’s bunting and a band on arrival

And yet you’re all still so scruffy 💅 Text scammers make tens of thousands a month - and spend it on designer shoes and bags www.bbc.com/news/article...

What do all the thanksgiving meals people are posting have something weird on the plates?

Did one of you drop something? 'Extraordinary discovery' at Orkney Neolithic site www.bbc.com/news/article...

My slight cold has almost gone

My slight cold is lingering

Of course, most of you would be happy with a Mellow Birds. Farewell regular flat white. 'Functional' coffees are hitting the high street www.bbc.com/news/article...

Guess what you’re all getting in your Christmas stockings! 🎄🎅🏼

Just spent £50 on lunch for 3 people at a garden centre

I still have a slight cold

I have developed a slight cold

Sner!

Why can’t you buy Robertson’s Mincemeat in shops anymore?

Guess the cathedral

Along with every ring off her cold dead fingers

Can humans beings not write anything original anymore? Hunger Games on stage 'dazzles' but some critics say it 'lacks emotion' www.bbc.com/news/article...

Off to drop my pot of spooge off with the drs receptionist. Laters 👋🏻