Marc Johnson was my favorite skater for so many reasons but I think the most important was that he treated skateboarding with the correct amount of sincerity and sarcasm. He knew it was equally magical and dumb and built his entire career within that juxtaposition.

Do you realize how talented you have to be to make skateboarding in a fedora look good? RIP MJ

Drove by three BMXers sessioning(?) a flat bar in an alley and it felt like peering into an alternate universe.

Need the Pope to drop an Encyclical against skating to songs that have already been used.

Tom Karangelov subplot when he’s not skating

Worked the opening shift at Clemente.

Tearing up reading about skaters I’ll never meet skating curbs I’ll never go to.

Skateboarding in the New York Times is crazier than skateboarding in The Olympics.

The economy is so bad skateshops can’t even afford to beef with each other anymore.

Telling my kids to turn off the faucet while brushing their teeth to conserve water for the Joliet data center

If Foundation skateboards haven’t given up yet then what’s your excuse?

There are only two skaters named ‘Alexis’ and they’re both rad? Coincidence???

Bobby DeKeyzer always skates so fast. What’s he running from? 🤔

Everybody, look at this incredible sweater my wife made from SCRATCH and say good job Emily!

POV: You’re trying to keep your employees from unionizing

Fun Fact: Christopher Nolan decided to not own a smartphone only after reading about Wes Kremer not owning a smartphone

This and some crusty east coast ledge spots.

Formatting your skate clips for every possible engagement farming account

No, you guys don't understand. My CEO is different. He said we're a family.

got no change sorry brotha

Skateboarding doesn’t get enough credit for creating toxic positivity “Next try!”

Copaganda includes those Kevlar éS shoes.

Teleportation is real and I have the proof

Video parts filmed while taking care of a newborn count for double. I don’t make the rules.

I’ll always take a toddler at the spot over a dog at least I can ask your toddler to film me

QUASI do Franky Villani next

GIRL X ExxonMobil Presents Griffin Gass Fuel Cards

Oh right, we're in Hudson News now! Supplement your $7 bottle of water with The Onion.

I love that they used the Nike font.

DRUSKI only watches skate videos for the skits.

The worst skate video is still better than the best Twitch stream.

Asking Jerry Hsu to sign my Nightcrawler DVD

The skatepark you grew up in no longer exists.

A lot of people don’t know that Tony Hawk’s nickname ‘Birthman’ originated from him having a birthday.

If Mamdani can balance NYC’s budget then you can balance a fs nosegrind.

Computa, swap out the song from this video part with a good one.

We are the nephews of the Uncles you couldn't chop

What To Know About Hantavirus https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-hantavirus/

People who skateboard to get around but don't do tricks are so fascinating. What's wrong, afraid you might like it?

Saw a young kid learning how to skate by himself in a parking lot wearing an oversized Spitfire shirt. The industry is doing just fine.

People look down on skateboarders mostly because we spend so much time on the ground.

Dylan Jaeb is a government PSYOP meant to coerce people into following their dreams.

They should invent a will of the people that can’t be subverted.

Everything is about skateboarding except skateboarding which is about how your pants land on your shoes.

Freedom Plaza closed as soon as Muni Plaza reopens because they know east coast skaters would be too powerful with both.

Standard 7-ply skateboard deck

Watching clips from another city’s DIY park and getting jealous of their tree cover.

Every photo my toddler takes of me feels haunted.

Determining the age of a clip based entirely on the skater’s hairline.

If you’ve ever filmed, edited, and premiered a full-length skate video you should be able to put that shit in your resume.