Body parts falling off! Cactus, Koi, Epsom Salts of Death, fun with mammograms, cane scam, unwelcome masturbation, Ring-tailed Lemurs—it’s all here this week on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It --always free and just once a week! robertagale.substack.com/p/its-always...

Louis C.K.,’s unwanted masturbating, body parts falling off, busting foot lumps with hammers, and old lady outings. What more could you ask for when you’re Pushing 70 Without Flooring It? Gen Z’s welcome if you can trash me with something better than “Hey, Boomer!"

Last call for jumping strangers, insane dogs who demand their food be aerated with a fork, and an off-brand outdoor bistro set. Take the plunge and subscribe, damn it--it’s free forever! robertagale.substack.com/p/i-jumped-a...

Jumping strangers, insane #dogs, an old lady—it’s all here! Latest post on #Substack on living life as a wrink (old person.) You don't need to subscribe to read, but I'd love it if you did. It's free and only once a week. #humor

I find it ironic that churches collecting food to those who lost #SNAP benefits consist of the same folks who voted for the guy who's taken them away.

Hey, ya old wrinks--get off your low-hanging ass and make an effective phone call about a petty gripe! A the secrets in the latest post in my Substack on humorous aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. Take a much-needed break from political news. robertagale.substack.com/p/effective-...

Want to effectively complain about a personal gripe? The secret in my latest blog post. Plus tripping, Jello molds, personal chairs in public places, and the hell of unincorporated areas. Subscribe and share with friends. It's always free and only once a week!

Sexism and fun at Spirit Halloween Part Two. Plus Napoleon and Oscar Wilde strike a pose and Lesbians tease me! This week’s holiday post on Pushing 70 Without Flooring It. robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-a...

Part two #Halloween #costumes blog post for "Pushing 70 Without Flooring It" is up on #Substack. Free forever to subscribe and only once a week. you don't need to subscribe to read.https://robertagale.substack.com/p/part-two-another-one-more-uno-mas

Latest post: Creative moms who were always making their own everything would spend weeks sewing some ornate costume that the other kids were secretly jealous of, but given the scant emotional health of the very young, they treated costume kid like a pariah. robertagale.substack.com/p/a-totally-...

Latest blog post: Spencer Gifts Halloween Sex sells for all ages—if you’re female. Plus no-show assholes, heather oatmeal is a color, and cheap fake it ground beef! It's free forever to subscribe, so please do- and share with friends if you like it!

"I made sure to buy the end tuchus-holders, next to the fire escape, exit, stairs, bathroom, snack area, and within chatting distance of the usher..." My latest story here, and it's all free...forever!

You want the good seats but don't want to pay for them? Read this! Also--soft granny mint porn! My blog--Pushing 70 Without Flooring It-- is free (and always will be!) and only once a week. If you like it, please subscribe and share with others.

Charging up the ol' NOAA weather radio for the upcoming Arizona Tsunami and stashing survival items: Toilet paper! Trader Joe's Mushroom Ravioli with Mushroom Truffle Sauce! Also shameless plug for my FREE-FOR-LIFE Substack on Comic Aging, Pushing 70 Without Flooring It robertagale.substack.com

My latest story on Substack--no more closet condiment eating! Some humor as a brief respite from political news. Please subscribe and share if you like it. It's free and always will be, and it's only once a week.https://robertagale.substack.com/p/i-was-a-closet-condiment-addict

Getting mellower with age? Nah! Latest post--subscribe--it's free and fun!

Latest Substack post. Getting mellow with age? I don't think so! Subscribe and share with your friends if you like what you read. It's free and only once a week.

Old but still still have your sense of #humor and #snark --about yourself? Check out ageing my way #funny #oldpeople #women robertagale.substack.com

My latest post on headaches, side effects and not writing about childhood toys because life gets in the way. If you like it, subscribe and share with friends--it's free!

#Estatesales Where I get to judge everything about a stranger's life.

Old Person Saturday Nights--My latest Substack might give you some quasi-fun ideas about what to do this weekend without driving at night! #Weekend #funnywomen #humor #seniors #old

"We don’t have Ketchup, mustard, ranch dressing or pickles"—a sign at a new uber-trendy, overpriced, forced-casual, young-hipster-magnet restaurant in my hood, proudly proclaiming the power they have over the sheep who spend their money there. Condiment snobbery portends the end of humanity!

Save money on food and make new friends! My latest Substack:

In which the waves of feminism meet the Block Universe Theory

They don't make it anymore, but you have to have it. Germaphobia vs desperation.

We Provide Pee Pads for Each Other: on leaking, love and being regular

Admit it @mouthyrenegade.bsky.social is who you secretly want to be. So stop being so fucking polite. No more mad AF. It's mad as fuck. Grow up and grow some balls or pussy or whatever you need to grow, but nice doesn't cut it anymore. You don't want a king? Be an emperor of New York-style rage.

In another world and circumstance,she would be a #supermodel. #Somalian displaced-persons camp/AP photo

Congratulations to @soldoglodge.bsky.social on the opening of their new campus. Now even more #dogs can be kept out of overcrowded #shelters. #Tucson #Marana #OroValley digitaledition.explorer.tucsonlocalmedia.com/infinity/art...

When the going gets weird, the weird bake muffins.

Why did the parents of the children in ”As Tears Go By” let them play outside at night in the rain?

Catalina State Park #Arizona #Desert #Tucson

It's a Long Way to Tipperary, unless of course, you're in Knockanrawley, which is right down the road. #Ireland #music

I got some Bulgogi from Mr. Bulgogi. All is as it should be.

In the song Tiny Dancer, despite Elton John's declaration that he'll say the next line softly and slowly, he does neither. #music

Is there anything cuter than #goats clearing out a recharge basins at a water reclamation facility? #Tucson

Rokeach makes both #Hanukkah candles and Gefilte fish. Guess which one they make better? #Chanukah

Around night five, things start to get dicey, candle-wise. #Chanukah #Hanukkah

My old tumbler posts are now on #substack New ones to come!

Counting each nanosecond of the nine days until #solstice. The fucking days are about four hours long now!

Fourteen days until the Winter Solstice. You're welcome.

Second-counting until the winter solstice is my full-time job.

Coming soon: my overpriced, trendy, you-get-only-one-slice-of-bread-with-eggs restaurant named "Thawed."

I 🧡close-dated discounted food items.

I jumped with the rest of the lemmings but I don't know why I did. Do I really need to waste time on another social media site?