If you're watching The Simpsons and want to know who voiced a certain character, here's a quick guide: If it's a celebrity, they probably voiced themselves. If it's a racist stereotype, it's Hank Azaria.

Happy Valen-Dean's Day. To celebrate eat lots of delicious food, find a really good stick, be nice to everyone, and know you're awesome.

Judd Nelson's nostrils are enormous.

There should be a slur for anti-vaxers.

Fun fact: No human has yet been shown to be immune to bullets. Not one. No matter how rich they are.

Greenland 2 doesn't even have Sharptooths. What a ripoff.

"Melania", a fake documentary about a few months in the life of a fraud, with basically no crew, and directed by a washed-up rapist, had a budget of $40 million. "Deliver Me From Nowhere" a biopic about an actual musician, telling a real story, starring a popular actor, had a budget of $55 million.

This fucking disgrace just voted to give more money to ICE while they kidnap and murder citizens.

Didn't Europeans already hate us?

This could fix me.

Erika Kirk's boyfriend's wife is pregnant.

OMG be so careful out there my beloved federal agents. Bulletproof vests don't stop knives. I would hate if anything were to happen to you.

Happy The Pitt season premier day to those who celebrate.

Save a horse, put down a lame cowboy.

Why is everybody going to so many rodeos?

I think it's pretty unfair to call x dot com the CSAM website. Facebook still exists.

They're in the custody of ice.

Josh O'Connor feels like Kirkland Signature Adam Driver.

Millennials stop making fucking parody songs challenge.

Riley Gaines? More like Riley Loses.

America is a christian (derogatory) nation.

I can accept that there's monsters and psychic powers and shit, but you're telling me Stranger Things takes place during the 80s and not one of these 18-22 year olds is doing blow? Bullshit.

The Fall of the House of Usher featuring Lil Jon.

Hey, DOGE may have been a complete failure, cost billions of dollars, and irreparably harmed programs and institutions that help all of us, but at least Elon got to steal all of our social security information.

Ross Marquand looks like James McAvoy and reminds me of Andy Serkis.

Trying to see her northern lights. Call them areola borealis.

None of them have ever been on our side. Not one.

The lesson of "Good Fortune" really makes you think. Taking rich people's money is bad unless it's in Riyadh. Powerful stuff.

Andrew Cuomo concedeez nuts.

Can't wait to brush this bad boy off.

I don't want the Blue Jays to win, I just want the Dodgers to lose, you know?

Happy Halloween. Remember, if you find drugs in your kids' candy just let them have it. It's tough out there these days. They could probably use it.

MLBtv: Every game for $150. :) MLBtv within 175 miles of a team: Sorry, we didn't mean *every* game. MLBtv postseason: Fuck you.

Shohei Ohtani? More like Showme Yotitties.

Zero pictures of Greg Maddux look like a world-class athlete. 100% of them look like a personal injury attorney doing sports cosplay.

Is this that thing where you purposefully say something wrong on the internet so you get a bunch of right answers? Or is it a humiliation fetish? It's one of the two.

There are milkshakes still edible that were made fresh the last time Andy Ngo soft-launched his fake British accent.

Obama getting a Nobel Peace Prize and not Trump is funny enough, but it's hilarious when you know that Kissinger got one too.

Do you guys know how high blood pressure can go? At least 241/159.

lmao "Where does it end?" Anti-aging procedures? Gender-affirming care for cis folks? Treating childhood cancers? Reconstruction from horrific accidents? How long will these so-called "doctors" go on making people feel comfortable in the one short life they'll ever have? The fucking humanity!

Are you saying this because we're not in the Fascisme region of France? Is this just sparkling authoritarianism to you?

I'm not sure anyone has ever seen Amber Tamblyn and Emily Vancamp in the same room is all I'm saying.

Chuck Schumer can read *this* pole.

The Ring (2002) is a movie about how having children ruins your life.

🎵 five hundred twenty five thousand gas station dick pills 🎵

I feel like they're saying we lost Vietnam because of DEI.