Cody Daigle-Orians
@codydo.bsky.social
📤 3711
📥 5240
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Writer and educator. Also: Books. Horror. Theatre. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
New on the advice column: there are ways to navigate a changing landscape with a close friend when romance enters the picture.
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"My roommate has a new boyfriend, and it's changing our relationship."
Tackle the changes head-on, and be honest about what you're feeling.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/my-roommate-has-a-new-boyfriend-and?r=2ou810
about 13 hours ago
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A thing that always cracks me up on the gay apps: guys who have screen names like "BIGDADDY202" or something and they're like 21. Mama, help me.
about 13 hours ago
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Since it's the 5th, it's a great day to launch the first set of High Five interviews!
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High Five: Aspec Interviews — Ace Dad Advice
https://acedadadvice.com/highfive
1 day ago
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Aspec invisibility isn’t the only obstacle in figuring ourselves out and embracing who we are.
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You can't read a life written in invisible ink.
Asexual invisibility, intelligibility and learning to read ourselves.
https://open.substack.com/pub/acedadadvice/p/you-cant-read-a-life-written-in-invisible?r=2ou810&utm_medium=ios
3 days ago
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Attack on Titan (2013) * joke made by
@neilmakesthings.bsky.social
6 days ago
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Happy Halloween! This year I’m the legend, the icon Chuck Tingle. LOVE IS REAL
7 days ago
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Being ace and acting as though allonormativity is right is shooting yourself in the foot. Why would you adhere to a worldview that doesn’t think you deserve to exist as yourself?
7 days ago
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Colder weather is here, and my seasonal depression is around the corner, so chances are slim I'm gonna put up with your internet bullshit. lol
8 days ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
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Started THE CHAIR COMPANY, and it's so good and weird.
12 days ago
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"If there’s one mental shift I think you’d get a ton from, it’s shifting from thinking about the current position you’re in as combative to thinking about it as collaborative."
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"I'd like our queerplatonic relationship to evolve, but I'm afraid to mess things up."
You can turn these hard conversations into exciting spaces for exploration.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/id-like-our-queerplatonic-relationship?r=2ou810
12 days ago
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I do writing coaching on campus, and this week I had an asych feedback on an assignment where a required element was to use AI to get feedback on your paper. gross.
12 days ago
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This fine event is happening tonight!
www.eventbrite.com/e/clintonvil...
16 days ago
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There's a brand new fiction podcast exploring asexuality from creator Zanah Thirus that you DO NOT want to miss. It's called VELVET, and we talk about it here.
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Asexuality, Pleasure, and Podcasts... with Zanah Thirus
In this One on One, I talk to the creator of the new ace fiction podcast, "Velvet," and we explore the space where asexuality meets pleasure.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/asexuality-pleasure-and-podcasts
18 days ago
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It's Ace Week! I did this great One on One with fellow ace content creator Patrick Bex (
@fluentlyaspec.bsky.social
) about aspec masculinity.
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Aspec Masculinity... with Patrick Bex
One on One, we discuss being aspec in male-presenting bodies and how masculinity intersects with the experience of being aspec.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/aspec-masculinity-with-patrick-bex?r=2ou810
19 days ago
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Republicans may not love democracy, but BOY do they love abuse.
add a skeleton here at some point
23 days ago
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For any Ohio folks: I'm doing my first Ohio event next Wednesday! Info:
www.eventbrite.com/e/clintonvil...
23 days ago
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We were discussing nontraditional students and the newer names they're using for them, and my husband called us "the dialup-aspora"
23 days ago
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One of my professors called me out on how much of a slut I am for the em dash. Sorry not sorry.
24 days ago
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"[W]e, in the Now, are builders. We are making the space the world denied us for centuries. We are naming what it means to be who we are. That process is messy. That process is long.
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Is "The Aspec Moment" now?
How a view of transgender history can help us think about where we are in aspec history.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/is-the-aspec-moment-now?r=2ou810
25 days ago
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reposted by
Cody Daigle-Orians
Alma Katsu (FIEND is out now)
27 days ago
While you're out & about running errands, keep in mind what these folks had to say about FIEND
@titanbooks.bsky.social
@putnambooks.bsky.social
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There's still time to sign up for this month's digital workshop, which is tomorrow at noon. Register here:
www.crowdcast.io/c/digitalpeace
27 days ago
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Never understimate the capacity for ordinary people to participate in atrocities. I hope that pastor is ok
add a skeleton here at some point
29 days ago
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No matter what happens at SCOTUS, conversion therapy for asexual and aromantic people will still be perfectly legal and culturally accepted. And that has to change,
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We won't end conversion therapy without ending it for aspec people, too.
The Supreme Court's consideration of Chiles v. Salazar is a good time to remember aspec conversion therapy is still a perfectly legal practice everywhere.
https://open.substack.com/pub/acedadadvice/p/we-wont-end-conversion-therapy-without?r=2ou810&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
29 days ago
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This was really fun. A conversation about amatopunk, radical relationship structures and queer joy. And make sure you follow Arielle!
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Living the Joy of Amatopunk... with Arielle Joria
One on One, we discuss the spirit of amatopunk, our histories with radical relationship structures and the importance of choosing aspec joy.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/living-the-joy-of-amatopunk-with?r=2ou810
about 1 month ago
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Next Sunday, a new digital workshop focused on preserving your peace in digital spaces. We'll go beyond the dating apps, as well.
www.crowdcast.io/c/digitalpeace
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Protect Your Digital Peace: Dating and the Apps while Aspec
Register now for Protect Your Digital Peace: Dating and the Apps while Aspec on crowdcast, scheduled to go live on October 12, 2025, 12:00 PM EDT.
https://www.crowdcast.io/c/digitalpeace
about 1 month ago
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Getting people to fully accept and affirm your happily single life can be a challenge.
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"I'm perfectly content being single. How do I get my friends to believe me?"
There are strategies to get your friends to respect your happy single life.
https://open.substack.com/pub/acedadadvice/p/im-perfectly-content-being-single?r=2ou810&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Cody Daigle-Orians
Yashar Ali 🐘
about 1 month ago
BREAKING Dr. Jane Goodall has died. She was 91. It is impossible to sum up the impact she has had on our world and on science in a social media post. She lived a long and incredible life but I am devastated. Full Story:
bit.ly/4pPcNFH
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I binged SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE after Jeff Hiller won the Emmy. I couldn't have built a more aspec-affirming world if I tried.
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"Somebody Somewhere": The show that doesn't know it's an uplifting aspec vision.
When Jeff Hiller won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for HBO’s Somebody Somewhere, I told myself it was time to finally check out this show.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/somebody-somewhere-the-show-that?r=2ou810
about 1 month ago
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We have to live in a fascist country AND endure "Wicked: For Good" discourse?
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Cody Daigle-Orians
Alma Katsu (FIEND is out now)
about 1 month ago
The Fall of the House of Usher has come up quite a bit in discussion of FIEND so I'm grateful to
@screamkings.bsky.social
for the chance to talk about it
add a skeleton here at some point
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Being proud of your aspec identity can take a number of different forms.
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"How do I feel pride in my asexuality when it's only created struggles?"
Pride can contain all of queerness's complexity.
https://open.substack.com/pub/acedadadvice/p/how-do-i-feel-pride-in-my-asexuality?r=2ou810&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Cody Daigle-Orians
Alma Katsu (FIEND is out now)
about 1 month ago
As the world (or at least the US) goes to shit, contemplate what it would be like to have a 1,000-year old demon to take care of things for you
www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/734363...
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Fiend by Alma Katsu: 9780593714348 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books
Historical horror maven Alma Katsu turns her talents to the modern world for the first time, in this terrifying tale about an all-powerful family with an ancient evil under its thumb. Imagine if...
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/734363/fiend-by-alma-katsu/
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If asexuality is left out of our conceptions of queerness and sexuality, the picture is dangerously incomplete.
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Sex advice ain't good advice without asexuality.
Asexuality stands in opposition to allonormativity. That's why we need it.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/sex-advice-aint-good-advice-without?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link
about 2 months ago
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I binged SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE, and I cannot recommend this more. It's gorgeously written and acted.
about 2 months ago
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I found a slime tutorial of the Bway A STRANGE LOOP today, and decided to watch it. And I'm now kind of sobbing. My god, what a gorgeous piece of musical theatre.
about 2 months ago
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"When I brush up against something that flips the “on” switch on my shame or frustration or feeling of being the “other,” I balance that negative input with some positive output."
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"When my friends couple up, I feel like it detracts from my life. What do I do?"
Here's how to cut yourself and your friends some emotional slack.
https://acedadadvice.substack.com/p/when-my-friends-couple-up-i-feel?r=2ou810
about 2 months ago
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The Right actually believes deeply in oppression. They just want it to be *theirs.* They see oppression as a narrative that gives them meaning and nobility -- while having all the power and experiencing nothing of actual oppression.
about 2 months ago
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I hate this so much. To frame having an affair with an employee when you're the acting HR person of the company as "a consensual thing with a coworker" is the WORST, and he's using his grossy revised narrative to squeeze some money out of it. This dude's the worst.
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Ned Fulmer Breaks Silence on 'Devastating' Cheating Scandal, 3 Years After Leaving The Try Guys (Exclusive)
Ned Fulmer speaks out for the first time after leaving The Try Guys about the cheating scandal that torpedoed his career, the status of his marriage to Ariel and his plans for what’s next.
https://people.com/ned-fulmer-speaks-out-on-cheating-scandal-after-leaving-the-try-guys-exclusive-11809989
about 2 months ago
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Recognizing and resisting the crushing norms around sex don’t just liberate asexual people. They liberate everyone. Spotting and rejecting the restrictive norms around romance don’t just liberate aromantic people. They liberate everyone.
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Aspec ideas are good for you, too, actually.
Allos embracing aspec ideas is a good thing for everyone.
https://open.substack.com/pub/acedadadvice/p/aspec-ideas-are-good-for-you-too?r=2ou810&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
about 2 months ago
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Any book recommendations about the Gilded Age (the historical time period, not the show)?
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Cody Daigle-Orians
Seth Abramson
about 2 months ago
I understand some of you don't have TikTok, but if you do, know that the explanation below is the best I've seen of what lay behind the Kirk assassination. Robinson is an alt-right nihilist, but in a way that's hard for many to understand. I think Aidan says what I want to say better than I could.
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It was a shitpost. Check out Know Your Meme for more of the history on it, or john ganz, or my newsletter #kirk #owo
TikTok video by Aidan Walker
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6EBCsjR/
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Cody Daigle-Orians
Hamilton Nolan
about 2 months ago
The reason affluent media people are such suckers for “civility” is that the actual content of most politics has no real stakes for them personally. If you want to find these people’s true political feelings, mess with their money.
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It’s not “cancel culture” if YOU ARE STILL RUNNING YOUR MOUTH ON THE INTERNET.
about 2 months ago
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Cody Daigle-Orians
Wajahat Ali
about 2 months ago
Tyler Robinson will be out of the news by Monday. Right wing which dominates media and politics and power is already gaslighting their audience and still blaming "the left." You can't shame shameless people who are committed to an extremist authoritarian project.
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Someone told me today they find me “standoffish and not fun.” 1) nobody is more critical of me than me and 2) I’m very selective about who I keep community with. The world is mean and awful. I allocate a part of myself to serve others. The rest is for real stuff. Sorry if that’s not fun to you.
about 2 months ago
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The Discourse + the discourse about how people should properly engage in The Discourse = no one communicating anything of value to anyone
about 2 months ago
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You can express your frustrations with allonormativity without sex negativity. Your issue is with allonormativity, not with allos.
about 2 months ago
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When one partner comes out as ace in a relationship, some difficult feelings can surface. Let's talk about ways to manage them.
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"My partner came out as ace. How do I let go of the sadness I feel?"
The sadness is natural. And there are ways to move past it.
https://open.substack.com/pub/acedadadvice/p/my-partner-came-out-as-ace-how-do?r=2ou810&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
about 2 months ago
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