One thing about me: if I’m giving you a present (for something like birthday or Christmas), expect the shittiest wrapping job. Because even though I care for you, I hate gift-giving and do not care what it looks like. 🎁🎄💝

Please note how gorgeous my children are in their holiday best. 🐾🎄

Dog checkpoint

Brandy Norwood & THEE DEBBI MORGAN?! I’m so sat.

Now onto Barbie in the Nutcracker because I am what? A (holiday) faggot 🩰🎄🍬🧚🐀👑

Kathy Morningside accepting the crown after she full on poisoned the Miss United States winner.

Okay. Taco Bell ordered. Watching The Grinch. Having a margarita. Cuddled with the dogs. All is well 🌮🍋‍🟩🐾

Kyle McLachlan today? Still would

Moises Arias is kinda ugly hot to me. I feel like society would want me to be embarrassed by this, but I’m just not.

If you see this we must insist you post a picture from your device without explanation

My top 5 cities (in no specific order): 1. Montréal 2. Manhattan 3. New Orleans 4. Paris 5. TBD

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Xtina released a live from Paris Christmas album. Please excuse me during this frabjourious day.

If it’s true about Rob Reiner, then RIP Rita Poon

Trader Joe’s cherry-pomegranate pop-tarts are ALMOST god-tier. Only complaint is they could have more filling. Yet that never stops me from buying them.

Time w/ the boy.

Watching Home Alone. What I want is a spinoff movie that details all that Catherine O’Hara did in the airport while she was waiting. Did she drink? Did she bother people? Did she sleep at all? Did she give herself a whore’s bath? These are things people ought to know.

The best salad is always the one you didn’t make yourself.

I say this each year now and will continue to repeat for emphasis. ABBY.👏🏻 SHOULD.👏🏻 BE.👏🏻 WITH.👏🏻 RILEY. #HappiestSeason

Donkey singing to the tune of No Good Deed: 🎶NOBLE STEEEEEEDDDDD🎶

The best salad is always the one you didn’t make yourself.

Dog checkpoint

Always go too fast when writing by hand (cursive) so my “e”s look like “c”s and then I have to correct them. It’s a real struggle.

On season 4 of Stranger Things rewatch. That bitch Angela whom El cracks in the face with a roller skate? She deserved it.

Never eat chocolate ice cream or drink red wine while wearing a cream colored hoodie.

I can crack my neck, my fingers, my wrists, and used to be able to crack my left ankle. Idk what this says about me.

Sometimes, all you really need to do is out-crazy someone.

Donkey singing to the tune of No Good Deed: 🎶NOBLE STEEEEEEDDDDD🎶

If I were to ever have a pet turkey, her name would be Hedda Gobbler 🦃

Rub-a-dub-dub, champers in the tub 🍾🛀🏻

What Ever Happened to Giuliana Rancic.

I’m sure this’ll be terrible, but had to try it. Martha Stewart was also hocking it on a podcast ad, so, you know, why the fuck not?

Not to jinx it, but I haven’t gotten up in the middle of the night to pee once this week. Like, who am I?

Since theres not one link to this story over here variety.com/2025/politic...

Changed my display name BECAUSE HOLIDAY SPIRT 👊🏻🎄

What Ever Happened to Giuliana Rancic.

Coworker asking some stupid fucking questions today. Like, check your goddamn email first.

Top 5 Britney deep cuts: 1. Can’t Make You Love Me 2. Freakshow 3. What You Need 4. Bombastic Love 5. Mannequin

Milk and cookies. Classic for a reason 🤤🥛🍪

I feel like I should care more that the most recent exclusive vinyl of Hilary Duff’s upcoming album has a re-recording of What Dreams Are Made Of. However, I already purchased the vinyl that has a re-recording of So Yesterday, a song I care more about. So…💅🏻

Anyone else think Mr. Clarke in Stranger Things is hot? I’d love to ride that mustache. 🫦

Hey. You there. Did you know, that if it’s over, let it go. And come tomorrow, it will seem so yesterday(, so yesterday).

Fire + Friends 🎄🔥🎉

Would you listen to a band that Cardi B’s daughter started and named “Throat Kulture” ?

My Pearl tree-topper arrived! 🎄🪓🐊

Me every time I buy something.

Would you listen to a band that Cardi B’s daughter started and named “Throat Kulture” ?

FYI/gentle reminder, if you scroll through my media, you’ll find my recreation of Little Edie’s Independence Day dance (à la Grey Gardens).

Started that Nobody’s Girl memoir about the Epstein survivor. Because life isn’t heavy enough, clearly. Lol

Craig, you know better. Never volunteer information. Only provide when asked.