Got the worst news today. A homeless cousin was found almost a week later after people walking by his decomposing body - including his stepfather (my uncle) and his mother. And a family friend who got a heart attack while driving. While doctors tried to restart his heart, he got another heart 1/2

#OnlyAMemoryNow my memory

#OnlyAMemoryNow when I had my shit together

Fucken cock teasers

#ICouldBeWrongBut Trump is not going to last out his term

#ICouldBeWrongBut I'm pretty sure all these people are dead.

#ICouldBeWrongBut I don't think he's that kind of doctor

My paranoia has paid off. I'm fully stocked up except for fresh veggies. Fuck you motherfucken MAGAts.

My friend informed me over lunch is pregnant with her second child - girl this time. I asked her about the baby shower so I can start shopping for the baby. She said she's asking for frozen prepped meals. Say less Queen! Her husband better buy another freezer.

#BigNopeForMe other people's drama

#BigNopeForMe finding love

#BigNopeForMe motherhood

#BigNopeForMe discounted piece of ass

#BigNopeForMe white peoples sushi

#WillNeverLetGo of my empathy

#WillNeverLetGo being an asshole to my sister* *True Story - for years I told my sister I thought she was a chihuahua in a sewer while in Tijuana and told my dad I wanted a dog. Used to call her Tijuana Chihuahua for years.

#WillNeverLetGo of my grudges

I just now saw this. It needs to be hanging in a museum. It’s a work of art!

#DoNotForget to keep extra clothes in your car

#DoNotForget who are allies truly are

#DoNotForget I have powerful friends

#DoNorForget my aim is impeccable

#DoNotForget I have "some" anger issues

#DoNotForget I'm one of a kind

#DoNotForget you're my one and only ch ch

I was in a Teams meeting when I heard a commotion in the kitchen. Call ended and I forgot about it. I just went to kitchen and saw pigeon feathers everywhere. Monroe, First of Her Name, Princess of House Marengo, Protector of the Realm and Pigeon Killer, took care of business.

#NotGonnaLie it's been 99% of my relationships

#NotGonnaLie I love eating children

#NotGonnaLie everything reminds me of that asshole

I know I'm tempting fate with an upset stomach but I'm throwing my annual Super Bowl party this Sunday and I need to get ready. Pepto Bismol better do its fucken job. 🤞🤞🤞

I speak Spanish but I can't understand a lick of Bad Bunny but I'm full blasting his music. #SuckItMAGA

Thank god I survived another dry January by not paying attention to such nonsense

#HonestQuestion this is about you, isn't it?

#HonestQuestion you can't kick the habit, can you?

#HonestQuestion you really didn't miss that letter, did you?

#HonestQuestion you really aren't afraid of me and my friends are you?

#HonestQuestion you get a little excited when I talk to you like that, right?

Let’s play another fun MEME GAME tomorrow night @commisurbator.bsky.social @netjeretkhau.bsky.social @preciosaliz.bsky.social

The way I would just stare...

Came to lunch at a Thai place. Ordered glass noodles with shrimp. Ordered heat level 10/10. Looked at me sideways and asked if I were sure. I just nodded but internally I screamed, "don't be fooled by the color of my skin."

He, as a 42 year old who dresses like Mr Rogers, scoffs at me, me who used to go to work in tailored Calvin Klein and Michael Kors suits wearing $400 shoes, when I volunteer to help him with a wardrobe overhaul. He hasn't had sex in a decade. Keep scoffing, fool, keep scoffing.

#EasyFix to a bad date

#EasyFix for the survival of our democracy

What we’ve seen in Minnesota should make you furious, but it should also inspire you.

#SavageFor calling you out

#SavageFor being my absolute self

#SavageFor telling the truth

#SavageFor hating my enemies that much

My sister and several family members went to visit Mayra's grave today for her birthday and they noticed a nearby grave with a balloon that says in Spanish, "Get Well Soon."