#BigNopeForMe other people's drama

#BigNopeForMe finding love

#BigNopeForMe motherhood

#BigNopeForMe discounted piece of ass

#BigNopeForMe white peoples sushi

#WillNeverLetGo of my empathy

#WillNeverLetGo being an asshole to my sister* *True Story - for years I told my sister I thought she was a chihuahua in a sewer while in Tijuana and told my dad I wanted a dog. Used to call her Tijuana Chihuahua for years.

#WillNeverLetGo of my grudges

I just now saw this. It needs to be hanging in a museum. It’s a work of art!

#DoNotForget to keep extra clothes in your car

#DoNotForget who are allies truly are

#DoNotForget I have powerful friends

#DoNorForget my aim is impeccable

#DoNotForget I have "some" anger issues

#DoNotForget I'm one of a kind

#DoNotForget you're my one and only ch ch

I was in a Teams meeting when I heard a commotion in the kitchen. Call ended and I forgot about it. I just went to kitchen and saw pigeon feathers everywhere. Monroe, First of Her Name, Princess of House Marengo, Protector of the Realm and Pigeon Killer, took care of business.

#NotGonnaLie it's been 99% of my relationships

#NotGonnaLie I love eating children

#NotGonnaLie everything reminds me of that asshole

I know I'm tempting fate with an upset stomach but I'm throwing my annual Super Bowl party this Sunday and I need to get ready. Pepto Bismol better do its fucken job. 🤞🤞🤞

I speak Spanish but I can't understand a lick of Bad Bunny but I'm full blasting his music. #SuckItMAGA

Thank god I survived another dry January by not paying attention to such nonsense

#HonestQuestion this is about you, isn't it?

#HonestQuestion you can't kick the habit, can you?

#HonestQuestion you really didn't miss that letter, did you?

#HonestQuestion you really aren't afraid of me and my friends are you?

#HonestQuestion you get a little excited when I talk to you like that, right?

Let’s play another fun MEME GAME tomorrow night @commisurbator.bsky.social @netjeretkhau.bsky.social @preciosaliz.bsky.social

The way I would just stare...

Came to lunch at a Thai place. Ordered glass noodles with shrimp. Ordered heat level 10/10. Looked at me sideways and asked if I were sure. I just nodded but internally I screamed, "don't be fooled by the color of my skin."

He, as a 42 year old who dresses like Mr Rogers, scoffs at me, me who used to go to work in tailored Calvin Klein and Michael Kors suits wearing $400 shoes, when I volunteer to help him with a wardrobe overhaul. He hasn't had sex in a decade. Keep scoffing, fool, keep scoffing.

#EasyFix to a bad date

#EasyFix for the survival of our democracy

What we’ve seen in Minnesota should make you furious, but it should also inspire you.

#SavageFor calling you out

#SavageFor being my absolute self

#SavageFor telling the truth

#SavageFor hating my enemies that much

My sister and several family members went to visit Mayra's grave today for her birthday and they noticed a nearby grave with a balloon that says in Spanish, "Get Well Soon."

Today she would've turned 34. We celebrated yesterday because she's so missed and loved by all. Happy Birthday, baby girl.

I #ChangedMyMind about being hungry

I wasn’t going to get the flu shot this year but I #ChangedMyMind

Thought I had met my soulmate but he had to open his mouth so I #ChangedMyMind

I #ChangedMyMind and stayed the fuck in my house

whichever candidate runs on prosecuting every single ice agent fuck to the fullest extent of the law has my vote

Within the last five minutes I've gotten two phones calls from my 46 year old sis. First one was to ask me how to turn on HER laptop. The second one was for the password to HER laptop. I better die after my sister and brother first pass away because they are too useless.

The Highway to hell is #StartingOverBecause of the name change

#StartingOverBecause the sage didn't work