When you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula

Not being able to use the Internet cos your mum wants to have a natter with Janice from 3 doors away and can’t be arsed to pop round in person.

Who would have thought strikers would score goals if they’re given decent service? not Ruben Amorim #BURMUN #MUFC

So having to listen to Ronan Keating boasting of writing a new song for the people attending his New Year TV thing… …Then he breaks into “When You Say Nothing At All” 🤷‍♂️

My New year's resolution is to save enough money to install a “human flypaper” Velcro wall at home. And I intend on sticking to it

Is he trying to lose the lead to make a point or something?

Amorim clearly not fancying the win today with those substitutions #MUNNEW

Fairplay to Dorgu on that finish. Did not expect that good a hit #MUNNEW

Our Prison Break

You will be visited by three spirits

Imagine going in for a tackle with Luke Shaw and being the one coming off injured #WOLMUN

As if FIFA hadn’t already sold it’s soul to the devil

Amorim continues to throw away momentum in-game with pointless subs #MUNWHU

🎵 I was born sick But I love it Command me to be well Aaay. Amen. Amen. Amen TAKE ME TO CHURCH! 🎶

They line up perfectly.

Less “Rise of the Machines” and more kick-out time at The Dog and Duck

Imagine having to pay someone ONE BILLION DOLLARS for playing back their own recorded words that they actually said while just cutting out the random gibbering bollocks meaning nothing which they spouted in between. Welcome to the BBC

You know they’re reeling right now from finding out the guy’s name is Anthony Williams, so what’s the expected time required for a fascist regroup on the #Huntingdon stabbings to move the problem from immigration to another minority like trans people?

It’s a twat

New lodger for the next week or so. She seems to find the penguin toy a lot more enjoyable than the dog we bought it for.

Is Bruno Fernandes trying to throw this away? So careless with the ball on numerous occasions now #LIVMUN

Unsolicited Mick pic

If you see this, quote with the energy you bring to Bluesky.

Well that’s Disney+ cancelled. No more money will go to the facilitators of tangerine toddler temper tantrums #BoycottDisneyABC

that’s Popworld added to #theMurtaughList #ImTooOldForThisShit

With everything happening in the US at the moment, I’m reminded of something I once heard from a great war time leader.

Calvin Bassey with the hip toss in the penalty area… will it be given? #FULMUN

Me: I fancy some more of those Richmond vegan slices @sainsburys.bsky.social: especially for you, that’s 4p more than everyone else 🤣

Wayne Hennessey goes from “Goalkeeping Great” to “Wales’ most capped goalkeeper” in the space of a few hours… bit harsh, BBC Sport

How I take criticism

Connor Roberts defending like a champ. Shame the officials couldn’t have functioning eyes

Again… what is the advantage there? #CHEMUN

Who would have thought putting a ball into the box might lead to a goal? Clearly not Ruben Amorim #MUNWHU

Not often I get to agree with Arsene Wenger www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Stonewall. How does it take this long? #ATHMUN

Lack of basic intelligence strikes United again #BOUMUN

Movie you’ve watched more than six times using a GIF

Just got Ai to re-write stairway to heaven by Led Zeppelin 🤣

The Trumpster Fire

If you see this, post something orange

If there’s one thing you can rely on from this United team is that any kind of pressure will cause them to crumble #MUNLYO

Repost with a photo of a seafront/shoreline/beach that you took.

Well, isn’t this unfortunate. Maybe he could try not being a total knobhead and attack dog for the saffron-skinned senile one.

Age yourself with a cartoon you watched as a kid

Me in the national security team group chat

MUSIC FACT: This sign was only added after Macy Gray performed her greatest hit

It must be #Gormanuary as it’s time for new @davegorman.bsky.social Modern Life is Good-ish on U&Dave

BREAKING: #Tesla to re-introduce analogue Speedometer

Ip…dip… but for selecting a new Pope