“You go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time.” - Donald Rumsfeld Luckily, that all worked out

Fixed it

Lutnick 👏 told 👏 Epstein 👏 the 👏 ages 👏 of 👏 his 👏 kids

Nancy Guthrie case started/going

fixed it

If you have the facts on your side, pound the facts; if you have the law on your side, pound the law; if you have neither the facts nor the law, sputter, scream and whine like a toddle caught scribbling on a wall.

Average American: wealth and status shouldn’t allow people to rape children Pam Bondi: I disagree

The Super Bowl halftime shows, in comparison

All the ICE losers that peaked in high school and play Glory Days on the jukebox every night now have another Springsteen song about them

Minnesota. Nice!

Looking forward to JD Vance’s children following in his footsteps by changing their last name out of paternal shame

CBS added that its ongoing segments “Bootlick Monday through Bootlick Friday” will continue as planned

❌ TIGER ❌ ELEPHANT ❌ GIRAFFE

Donald Trump treating the East Wing of the White House like he treated the mother of two of his kids

Trump’s parade vs. our parade #nokings #andor

EXCLUSIVE: Kash Patel’s inner monologue

Kudos to the Yankee stadium sound op that played the strikeout sound effect after Trump was introduced

JD Vance implicating Donald “Democrat-at-the-time-he-partied-with-Jeffrey-Epstein” Trump here.

Fixed it for DeSantis

The University of Florida’s grading rubric

Trump parade FAIL #nokings

Sound up

**adds Steve from Blue’s Clues to unencrypted highly sensitive Top Secret national security thread**

These Hegseth texts are bananas

“Let them eat billable hours.” -the law partners of Paul Weiss

this is very good news

earthquake

Marco Rubio in full alignment with Russia

Secretary of State Marco Rubio, “The Sound of Silence” (2025)

Fixed it.

Small but mighty crew in Pasadena #teslatakedown

“The president, perhaps inadvertently, wound up smudging the line between empirical verification and his own boundless optimism.”

My final TikTok video was a Succession/I Think You Should Leave mashup. Bluesky doesn’t allow videos longer than one minute so I had to speed it up a little to fit here.

Looks like that epic episode of Succession had a bigger impact than just on our feels.

Kendrick Drake 🤝 Embarrassing Drake

“Hi everybody!” -RFK on his first day of work

…last.

New Twitter CEO

Ron DeSantis hovers uncomfortably