We store trauma in our memory, in the depths of our unconscious and conscious spaces. We also store these in our bodies. The constant pain your shoulder, the incessant burn in your stomach, in may symptoms that mimic autoimmune disease, all can be somatic storage in your body. New Substack Post.

I have found that one of my kinks is check-ins and scales. It’s no secret I’ve worked with Kevin. These are the tools that helped in my healing. I had been on a JO bender not too long ago and I brought this up. I hadn’t eaten all day. I was horny for stir fry. Could have gone either way.

Got this fierce new sweater that I’m in love with. It’s 101 degrees in September, so not sure if I’m going to get to wear it. Lol

Did you know there’s an opposite to paranoia? The word is pronoia – it means the belief that the world around you is conspiring to help you.

This is one of my favorite meditations Kevin has done. Permission is powerful and I didn't know how much I needed it. This is permission.My faves: My sexuality deserves to take up space. There is no right or wrong way for a body to look. All bodies are beautiful,which means my body is beautiful too.

I am really from the gut tired. Everyday is a new low to the depths of cruelty we encounter. I have been stuck. It is fucking overwhelming. If you are exhausted too, that is ok. We have been around since time began and we will come out of this still here and still fucking queer.

If you've been curious about my intellectual musings on Substack, here's an invitation for you to explore further. Enjoy 7 days of a free trail to my paid subscriptions 🥰 I write about gay sex, shame, non-monogamy, entrepreneurship, yada yada yada coachkevmartin.substack.com/430f5360

This is probably my favorite tool that @coachkevmartin.bsky.social has created. It truly has become a daily routine for me that really connects me to my body and desire. I modify it a bit at night to check in and see if there is something I need or I can adjust to end the day as well. Check it out!

In my work in gay sexual/mental health I’m surprised how often this comes up and the shame that surrounds it. So many factors are at play. It’s not: a personal failure, a sign your body isn’t working, or lack of being turned on. Read Kev’s post! It gives incredible guidance for you or others!

Religion taught me that being gay or too proud were tickets to hell. Pride allows us to show up in each of our special ways that only we can & to love unapologetically. We owe no one our shrinking. Let’s show up for ourselves and others in all our power and presence! Thank you Kev for the reminder!

Listen, I cannot pretend that I have any part of this “love your body” stuff figured out, in fact I’m usually hating it. The thing I love about @coachkevmartin.bsky.social’s exercise here is that it does develop into a respect for your body and gratitude for what it can do. That is a place to start!

Happy Friday All! Much love to you as you go into the when! ❤️❤️❤️

I have worked with hundreds of queer folx in my career and this is a topic that comes up often. It is a thread that many of us share. It is a sign that we are growing and healing and one of my favorite things to talk through with folx.

Y’all! I wanted to share this coaching exercise from @coachkevmartin.bsky.social. He provides an incredible framework to follow. It’s been a powerful addition to my morning routine. It’s a daily reminder that we are sexual beings and it is equally important to check in with! It is a goody for sure!

For many growing up gay meant hiding & that meant we missed huge developmental learning experiences. 2nd adolescence is confusing because it’s coming out of order & also a sign of healing, a reset of what we deserved then. Kev’s article holds great guidance on normalizing and navigating this time.

Just go join! @coachkevmartin.bsky.social is going to bring it and the community it creates is everything! There aren’t many sure things in this life, but this is a sure bet that your life is meant to be lived fully and without shame! I’ll meet you there!

To say that we are in troubled times as a queer community would be an understatement. We wake up each day with more attacks. I often feel guilty when I share genuine laughter with a friend because there is work to do, but that laughter is also a bold statement that we are here and we are thriving.

This week I had the best time gabbing with @collidepress.com . Conversation with Clint is so easy and he gave such heart-felt responses. It is a gift to be in commmunity with him. Get to know him a little better here!

I am always in my head, constantly analyzing my worth or body. Affirmations can be a powerful tool, but sometimes finding the right words can be hard. @coachkevmartin.bsky.social is the king of affirmations and he provides some incredible examples to get you out of your head and into the bedroom.

Your journey is yours, your path is sacred, and your sex life — whether quiet or loud, partnered or solo, wild or tender — deserves to be owned unapologetically.

Communication is sexy as fuck! Kevin discusses how communication can be used pre-hook up to ease tension, reduce performance anxiety, and intensify the experience. Having a discussion beforehand is a powerful use of my voice and showing up for both myself and my partner.

Sundays are my lonely day. It’s that day I notice most that I am single. It’s that day I realize most of the people in my life have partners/families. It is important I am intentional in setting up my week from a place of gratitude and not scarcity. Also, group meditation with good folx helps!

For my second interview in my Affirming MH Care, I talk with @pdxlove2cuddle.bsky.social. He is someone who I can slip into the deepest conversation with so easily and who contains a deep wisdom about him. We talk music, life, growing up, & queer pop-culture. You will love him as much as I do!

When you grow up with the secret many of us shared, the gay secret, you start the narrative early that we have be someone else to be good, even more, who you are is unsafe. We deserve to feel whole, to be fully ourselves, to be seen in all that we are. It’s we take our story back.

I am doing a series of interviews around queer mental health with some of my fave gays. This first one is with my friend, coach, and mentor, @coachkevmartin.bsky.social . He is a huge source of inspiration and has been with me in some of my own dark moments. Read or watch!

Your body can’t fully enjoy pleasure when your mind is stuck in fear.

Queer-affirming mental health care can be lifesaving. It is a space where no masks are needed, and a person can show up fully themselves. In this Substack post I dive into what this looks like, its importance, and resources.

Y’all, I can’t stress enough how Kevin’s approach shook everything I thought could be possible! Shame? Who is she? Life looks different when you’re free and no longer beholden to the old narratives forced on us! This retreat is going to change at least 10 folx lives for the better! Be one of them!

This is pretty personal and it is fresh and raw. Sometimes it feels like you have come so far and are kicking this healing thing’s ass. Sometimes it feels like you are back at the beginning. The truth is that you aren’t. Your growth is still there and it still matters.

This post broke my heart in the best way possible. While we do the work to respect our bodies, it’s a comfort to know that there are people who encourage us with reminders like “I need you to stop writing yourself out of that truth” that we are more than enough right here right now. Just as we are.

Most major shifts in our thinking and behavior happen by the small steps we implement into our daily routine. Here @coachkevmartin.bsky.social goes through how we can start to shift our body image with messages of body neutrality and gratitude. These are hugely impactful and powerful practices!

We all use cognitive distortions. It is a way for our unconscious to project & prove that it is right. In situations where we are diving into new territory in our relationships these can come up with a vengeance. Our brains view novel as dangerous because it is unknown, even when it is sexy as hell.

There is nothing more powerful than a gay man who finally feels free. 🌀 FROM SHAME TO SELF-LOVE — my signature retreat experience — is happening in just a few months, and it’s designed to help you rewrite the story you’ve been carrying. Just a few spots left: www.coachkevmartin.com/retreat