i would strike out scott pilgrim in 3 pitches. slider outside, he feels like he's drowning. curveball in the dirt of course he's chasing it. Crash And The Boys are better kill yourself. and Bang 97 inside corner. Youre out. You were always out. Youve been out since the day you were born.

I buzz in for 500 dollars, "the meister of burgers, burger-meister meister-burger!". And then Ken Jennings, douchebag chin, stiffy tuxedo, ableist for hot people in wheelchairs, tells me that I am wrong because i didn't phrase it in a question. and the asshole next to me wins final jeopardy...

when the high school prom DJ dropped Kids by MGMT and Dancing Queen, back to back i collapsed from an overdose of suburbian swag, I exited the rented-out community center on a stretcher, boba in the IV bag.

couple months ago i played my music to a bunch of my high school classmates and everyone said that it sounded like tv girl and that was the closest i came to retiring

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, what could a titsuck do?

me when i know that's it's yanny and not laurel (and vice versa)

crying to M.I.A. because i don't want her to pop pop pop pop and a cha-ching and take my money

whenever something mildly annoying happens i say "harumph" and put my hands on my hips like an old hag on captain underpants

ugh my mom took away my switch, looks like cancel culture has killed me yet again

Jeopardy: who was it who said "I got 2 phones one for the plug and one for the load" *buzzes in* Is it Jesus Christ? Religion for 500.

putting on women's clothes with "Aphex Twin Sleep Mix" in the background and then finally realizing i am one of the gays

swagged out like my name was soulja girl

feeling empty tonight (my insides were sucked through a straw)

WHO HAD THE IDEA TO MAKE THE SKY BLUE AND THE TREES GREEN? I THINK THAT GUY WAS SPITTING. BUT WHY DID THEY MAKE THE WOOD BROWN, THAT IS POOP COLOR

U said u was starving so i called up taco bell!!!!!! I put u under a spell!!! bars travis scott

y'all dont know about feetworld. i mean why would you

IDK if Chick-fil-a has a slogan but if they do it's probably exactly 14 words long. Just a hunch.

"dude i thought you knew adam sandler was the lead singer of arctic monkeys" i say this with my thigh-highs on giddy with joy on educating the masses

BLUE SKY ANIMATION: defunct 2021 BLUESKY APP: became independent 2021 welcome back guys who made ice age :)

every single thing i've ever touched is a 10/10 masterpiece and i am an untouchable goddess,,,,,,,, suck my tits ted cruz

deuce

Deuce

DEUCE

Hey guys! I'm here to explain the joke of my last post! It is a well known childish saying that girls don't fart! So my last post was a girl who wanted to know what the feeling of farting was, so because of that, he transitioned! This does not mean he didn't have other problems like dysphoria! ILY!

transmasc who transitioned because he wanted to know what the feeling of farting was

If I was Taylor Swift for a day I would immediately pop a perc, and then probably like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh go to bed or somethin.

my response to the allegations: youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?...

trans friend told me to listen to femtanyl and i'm like "oh yeah i put those in Zyns" and then she blocked me

getting shot in the stomach and immediately stumbling towards my medicine cabinet to chug a bottle of pepto bismol