This poem has travelled to Pennsylvania.

I have a tiny dartboard, see, It’s very far from full-size, And that’s the reason, seems to me, I don’t score many bull-size.

I gave my love a coat hanger, She flung the thing right back, It acted like a boomerang And gave her head a whack.

Manatee or Mermaid? To test a sailor’s sanity Bring unto him a manatee, And if he finds her beautiful, Declare him fit and dutiful. But if he finds her hideous, This shows he’s too fastidious, And not the sort of matelot Who’s fit to fight a battle-o.

I tried to toss a pancake once, But found it quite impossible. Now, maybe I am just a dunce, But IS a pancake tossable?

Well, it was nice, after a difficult day, to come home from work last week and find that the poetry book I won had arrived. #poetry Thank you, Children’s Literature Festivals and @colinwest.bsky.social. Don’t Look in the Mirror, Maud has made me laugh for days.

@punchbooks.bsky.social Currently on sale on ebay. It is of course, an original Sprod! Do you think maybe from one of those one-man double spreads?

Latest ditty

When Noah crammed the final beast Into his ark to ferry ‘em To higher ground, he sighed, “At least No need for an aquarium.”

I submitted this poem some time ago for a space anthology. It didn’t make the cut, but I thought I’d illustrate some of the verses anyway. Sorry for the wonky type, just a rough paste-up!

It struck me that this drawing would be right for the Ogden Nash rhyme 😊

Some cat drawings 😊

Some drawings for my funny poems

Delighted to have this little rhyme included in the School Magazine’s Countdown publication. Illustrated by the talented Gabriel Evans

Some drawings by Abner Graboff from Merry Ditties, a collection of folk songs

I buzzed my own buzzer, I wanted to know Who lived in a flat just like my one, and so I answered my buzzer when I heard it buzz, And found out the sort of a person who does.

A little more Nonsense …

Cut up old step ladder to make useful library steps

Some beautiful illustrations by Charles Martin, 1913.

There once was a girl, namely Goldilocks, Who couldn’t unlock some old moldilocks, For Daddy Bear’s door Has padlocks galore, Which every night I am toldilocks.

Versifying for Marc Chagall …

A Date in the Desert …

A little more nonsense …

I wandered lonely as a cloud, Just like old Willie Wordsworth, And saw some golden daffodillies Though not so numerous as Willie’s, But maybe just a third’s worth.

Some Nonsense for the weekend …

Nice to have this in latest edition of The School Magazine

Latest bit of nonsense

Putting a new book together

Flashback to 45 years ago. Still doing the same old thing

Cathie reading

@lindapoet.bsky.social Sorry Linda, accidentally deleted your friend request on Facebook, so sent you a request 😊

Yippeee! Received some nice news today @thetoypress.bsky.social

Collecting books is one of my passions, Especially if they’re Ogden Nash’uns.

We’re thrilled to share an exciting milestone - “Sky Surfing” Poetry anthology reaches £2,000 in support of Juvenile Arthritis Research. The latest proceeds are put towards our urgent IT appeal. A special thank you to all involved and especially Colin West, Jonathan Humble and Yorkshire Times.

So nice to be between Mervyn Peake and Dr Seuss

Family of foxes (vixen and two young ones) enjoying our garden 😊

Calling all illustrator friends! I’ve just made this drawing for Kathryn Beevor’s forthcoming poetry collection which is in aid of 2 v worthy charities, Care Highway and Kids At School in Nepal. If you could contribute a b&w illustration please email [email protected] for further details.

Update: Yorkshire Times Publishing have made a 2nd donation to Juvenile Arthritis Research of £1000. Thanks to Colin West for funding the Sky Surfing project, our poets and artists who allowed us to include their excellent work and all who've supported the Dirigible Balloon. Cheers! JH x

A little nonsense …

Happy weekend all! 😊

Just picked up my swinging 60s print from the local picture framer’s. It’s by John Astrop and Eric Hill (before he created Spot the Dog). Looking better than ever!

Here’s one that didn’t make the cut for recent submission.

The online thing I like the best? The “Prove You’re Not a Robot” test. And I quite forget when it’s tasking me That it’s a robot who is asking me.

Etchings by Henry Moore

The birds most deserving of charity I feel are the ones who are parroty — Like lovebirds and budgies Who seldom bear grudges And always cause much jocularity.