my friend's dog oreo is a precious baby who deserves to turn 10. if you can spare anything to help with her emergency hospital and vet bills it would be so so appreciated ♥

Great Fairy! 🌹✨ #thelegendofzelda #fanart

the nonbinary urge to spend all your money on fun stuff

acab doesnt include chun-li. i can fix her

changing my name to mike. short for micycle

jobs should be illegal tbh

farting on a packed bus should be a crime punishable by beheading

and what a happy 420 it is

my wife bastardized some of my song lyrics and i bastardized them more and now she regrets it

"bless this mess" but when it's your turn to say grace

gofund.me/e77209083 I started a gofundme to help fund my emergency relocation after dealing with a violent and controlling stalker over the last year. Any and all help is greatly appreciated.

guy who pronounces yoshi like josh

i wish death on all rapists :)

We live in a world where BY FAR the most common reason to harm or kill another human being is the absolute worst one: because someone told you to. Because it was your job. Doing harm in self defense (a right of any organism) is legislated & controlled, but on orders is normal. This is twisted af.

told my wife she has wisdom and she was like :3 ^w^ uwu. you know what nevermind

blows my mind that u can tell a man "i saw a bird today" and he will just. not be the least bit curious about it. what do u mean you're not interested in the enormous crow perched alone at the very top of a tall pine that enraptured me for a full minute. do u ever look up. do u even hear sounds???

no i dont. im 35

(tidus narrator voice) i had forgotten... about bugs.

@ferret5557.bsky.social found another thing to overshadow your birthday. or something to make it even rattier, it's really up to you. happy neil banging out the tunes day

i love slaving all day over a meal for it to actually turn out good :')

adding starch to my stew to make its texture complement the starch im going to serve it with

PEANUT LORE DROP: when wizard game came out i saw some1 on my steam list playing it. so i messaged them on discord & spoiled the ending they laughed along until i asked them why they did it and then were like ??? turns out that guy on steam was a random whose name just sounded like them. oops LMAO

rhythm games are fun as hell actually. even if u have no rhythm

just saw a video of a guy burning up the tp warehouse he worked in. because his bosses dont pay a living wage. wish i was more stocked up on tp but LMAO

coheed and cumbrain

why is the extra work of ~understanding~ and ~meeting needs~ only ever heaped on people who give a fuck. is "do everything the hard way and then serve people who will do it the easy way if you don't" really the best we can do

if iran destroys the internet we will all be free :)

all the americans patting themselves on the back for showing up to work and acting normal under a looming nuclear threat is really... sad lmao white people are really just going to hold on for as long as they can huh

truly mind boggling how so many people were able to monetize having a cat

posting "girl the boycott" under a straight woman's pregnancy announcement

i dont know who needs to hear this, but (exaggerated fart noises)

i had better not be getting sick

being an npc is actually great. you get to say whatever the plot requires of you and little +/- affection notifs pop up above your head. everyone knows your favorite gift and gives it to u all the time

fucks me up to see people posing for photos with their one masked friend. the deep secondhand embarrassment i feel for the people who will actually just let their friend who is right be the odd one out knocks me on my ass every time

it is no longer a pet peeve when ppl dont cover their mouth when they cough. i hate you. i think you are the overgrown child. i hope you swallow a spider every single night for the rest of your life

why did no one tell me the protomen released act iii. youre all fake fucking friends

thrifted some extremely dickish oversized mirror shades. i look like if sedgwick from @doodlemancy.com 's upcoming disaster gay vn iron company was a fat dyke

work is bad and no one should have to do it

fun discovery: tiramisu flavor yogurt is caffeinated enough to send me to space

nice vaguely passive aggressive statement. unfortunately i know the magic words "what do you mean by that"

i really want to cyber with AI just once. in the same way u want to romance the weirdest character in the game, u know? just to see their dialogue

feeling cute. is it okay if i post a topless pic

sauces should have to disclose that they're mayo-based

hmm. i suppose i'm legally obligated to get a shawarma today

2023: 'the vulnerable will fall by the wayside' 2026: 'ai isnt going anywhere its time to adapt' 2029: 'senicide is a historically effective strategy for famines' 2032: 'vote blue no matter who' (it's mark zuckerberg)

anxiety is just spicy foresight

since the only easter candy i like is bds ive decided to make april another 0 sugar run. this time i cannot be defeated

democratic socialists believe in cops and imperialism btw

to be a good musician you have to develop just the right amount of tolerance for being annoying. too little and you can't write a hook. too much and you start making pop-punk

jk rowling is a sad hollow loser and so is everyone who is still paying attention to wizardslop