maybe being mega depressed is Good bc ive been putting off relapsing for like an hour now bc i just cant be fucked to clean

friend group drama Bleghhh

guy who is once again convinced he has cancer and is dying

telling myself i have to wait until after the cinema to engage in any unhealthy coping mechanisms bc The day is young it might not be joever it might turn around

just feeling rly heavy and shitty today eugh

stressing myself out over teeth bc i couldnt go to my surgery consultation and now i have to wait til jan for one bc ill be gone for most of december :(

"id please"

being here would fix me and i never thougjt id say that ab bristol

this is a top tier bleedout song

i miss being in the heart attack man pit, lip bleeding, screaming "he never raped me he never hit me never groomed me when i was fifteen" at the ppl around me before we all proceeded to beat the shit out of eachother some more

REMMEBERED THEY EXIST DHMU

pretty boy by alpha wolf

one of the best new metalcore songs out there i think

i need to Keep an eye on my brain bc im having my Signs of hypomania.........

thinking about the time nats dad thought i got her pregnant... gender euphoria

i think making out with my girlfriend for one willliam minutes would fix me

sh urges bad again and idrk why and i actually have stuff now bc of lino cutting AGH. its fine its so fine everythings fine we move

my goal for today is to tidy my room a bit and make a hot meal . i didnt yesterday but i do rly need to

i should shower and make my bed just to feel a bit less gross and stiff Ughhhhh fineee

re read the letter and poem nat wrote me for my birthday and crying :(((

real af

made nats anniversary gift today i had fun making little lino print stamps again for the first time in years!

feel sick from meds and so so so sleepy :( considering going home and skipping my 12-1 seminar but idk id feel bad when im already here :(

no one warned me how bad itd be to use crutches in -1° when i cant feel my Fucking hands

8am and im thinking ab how in love i am aw its gonna be a good day bc i have my girlfriend awww

getting my marks for my book review assignment on monday i think EEK i dont have very high hopes but for me that usually means it went decently well

STOP having "conversations" with ChatGPT and START talking to your stuffed animals like a normal person

gonna be so brave and go to my lecture then to the library for my 2h break and im gonna do my seminar readings and some research for my next bunch of assignments n then go to my seminar . im gonna be The Bravest

a good update tho is im in slightly less pain at rest now! still cant walk on it without crutches it just gives way and hurts like fuck but once im laid down im mostly ok it seems!! which wasnt the case 24h ago!!

im so fuckin SLEEPY but i promised myself id go to uni if i can FUUUUUUCK

god i would love a hot meal rn. surely i can get myself down the stairs to make one. surely

had a shower and it was a nice reminder that even in this Very Stupid Disabled Body i can still take care of it

more transphobic guidance. on tdor. dude

i almost thought "may this kind of love find me" about my source and his wife and then i went WAIT!!! I HAVE IT!!! :D

alright yeah just ignore the fact i said i feel like shit lately thats cool

erm

BOOOORIIIIINGGGGG

LISTRN TO WHAT WAS PLAYING IN THE A&E WAITING ROOM BTW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

also?? my blood pressure was High like actually fr high (124/95) and Thats scary!!!! idk why That happened!!!!!

my two fav things to see on reels? liked by danielhowell and liked by loocaswoodland. thats how u know its gonna be good

its so fun how a&e just loaded me up on diazepam, gave me codeine to take home and put me on crutches and didnt even Look at my hip or xray it or Anything

omg pookie... hes alive!

"we'll give u a muscle relaxant" and its mf diazepam IM GETTING FUCKED UUUUP

guy who cant go to the dentist on account of being in a&e

idk if i should bin off this dentist appointment for a&e

my hip hurts So fucking bad dude smth HAS to be really wrong w it

i just keep bursting into tears every time i think about hugging my girlfriend or about anything at all tbh bc i feel So fucking alone and miserable and theres so much i wanna say and do that i cant