FREEDOM!!!! (I’m sick and have no voice) lmao

Stumbling upon a student’s IG and seeing they have their graduation class in their bio and it’s…. 2031. Shut the fuckkkkk up 🫨😵‍💫🫪🫪🫩

A pre-workout poptart is my biggest hack, because even if you’re not excited to work out, you will be excited to eat the poptart

Are the Phillies like becoming a real baseball team?? I’m not sure I can handle that

A friend who supports your Irish goodbye is a friend who supports YOU

This is super education-centered but my colleague gave an amazingly heartfelt speech for our 3 team members who are retiring and threw some mega shots at the cons of de-teaming our middle school. And our Super walked in literally 25 seconds after some of his best shots 😭😭😭

When I started my job I joined a team of teachers and 3 are retiring, 1 is moving buildings (I’m the only one left) and I’m writing them all cards right now feeling very emo 😭😭😭😭

Here’s a reminder that you can use your free will to make a piece of buttered toast whenever you feel like it

My new teacher neighbor was complaining she had a lot to do today (she didn’t have to move her room like a lot of us did) and turns out she’s been busy painting an ugly-ass mural on her wall

15+ miles completed!!! 💪🏻🏊🏻‍♀️🥳 thank you to everyone who donated!

I’m (unwillingly) moving my room again and I legit think I have the worst room in the whole school. I hate it so much 😭😭😭

It’s actually insane that districts expect teachers to sit down after teaching for 180 days and start planning for next year 🤣🤣🤣

You can’t convince me eating healthy sucks

Happy birthday to one of the OG Talls @footiusmaximus.bsky.social have a great day bro 🤩

900 yards to go

Steak and salt potatoes for dinner. I could get used to being a dad

Something that feels illegal but isn’t? It’s officially summer and I still have 4.5 days of school left

I love the Mets

Kyle Schwarber I fucking love youuuuuu

At the grocery store with nothing but cravings

Tom ordered Olive Garden tonight and just told me he didn’t eat a single breadstick #Narc

I’m in a group chat now… so now the little message notification is no longer just from being blocked 🥰🥰🤣

I am having the best day ever!! I swam, lifted, finished my book, went to the driving range. Now I’m in my pjs: moisturized, face mask on, edible already popped, about to pour a glass of chilled red and probably gonna order Thai food 🥰🥰🥰

Going to hit some golf balls bro

Food is just a vessel for mayonnaise

Hey yall our shitty politicians have decided to put it to vote to shut down and dissolve our towns public library citing that people don’t read books anymore and that having a library is a waste of money. Even though no one reading this is a local it would mean the world if you signed this petition

One thing I wish I could change about myself?? I wish I wasn’t constantly craving mayonnaise

You know why I hate the Mets? Bc if I want to watch the game tonight I have to find an illegal stream 😡

Sacks are being hackied in my room right now

In more poop related news, we’re in a medical hold in place and I’m about to shit myself!!!

My students know me so well 😭🥰

A 7th grader just deadass came up to me and said “I farted but I think there’s a dookie in my butt can I go to the bathroom” END THE YEAR 5 MINUTES AGO

I honestly took the morning off so I had time to swim, and I’m glad I did. That was a hard 3,700 yards 😮‍💨😮‍💨

Not 100% sold on Wilco

Microdosing summer break

What am I willing to pay to see Wilco tomorrow night for the first time? (Consider this: I’m still in school until next Friday, it’s an hourish drive, I have to swim early on Wednesday) ((I could take a personal AM day on wed, but I honestly don’t know what I could do for sub plans at this point))

I will never hop on the soccer bandwagon (sorry) but I can get on board with the culture. There was so much yellow in Philly today (equal to the amount of green you’ll see on Sundays), and all the Ecuador fans we talked to were cool as hell so I’m rooting for them!

I am fully in my roast beef era

Goose really out here with Big Modern! proving that they master the rhyme in those CT schools

Starting an Eagles inspired Ecuador chant: E-C-U-A-D-O-R

At least we’re on the way to not having to hear about the Knickerbockers until next season’s playoff games 🙏🏼

Philadelphia remains the best city in the world. In this essay I will

Imagine they make hundreds of NFL players play at MetLife every year on horrible turf but they put in real grass for the FIFA players 🤣🤣🤣

Does FIFA stand for Find Out and Fuck Around??

Taking a break from my current fixation (Mutiny After Midnight) to go back to my previous fixation (The Great Divide) bc look at this beautiful day

9.15 miles down 🏊🏻‍♀️

I’ll start with why the fuck does the clock have to count backwards????

I can’t believe no one has ever told me my body is hotter than a brother in Guam

Quite rude of my college roommates to plan a dinner for a FRIDAY in JUNE. I should be in my pjs rn