The lyric “you were born with a face for a missing sign” is going to be a lyric I think about as often as I think about the lyric “you wouldn’t know a diamond if you held it in your hands” and that’s often

Did you guys know you’re allowed to wake up early and bake banana muffins before going to work???

I just asked Tom what he knows about Wilco and I didn’t really get an answer besides “I bet @sulkirk.bsky.social is a big Wilco guy”

I’m gonna have #beef with @scottmik104.bsky.social until he speedos up and challenges me in a 100 yd freestyle race #beefweek

I’ve already accepted that I’ll probably never see Noah Kahan again but this album is making this really difficult for me!!!!

The Project Hail Mary x Noah Kahan TikTok edits are videos I did not know I needed in my life but 😭😭😭😢

Sometimes I get the urge to train for a half marathon… but then I remember I hate running

Topper looks pissed at his players like he isn’t the one who created these monsters wtaf

I just want you all to know if Tom went to Vegas without me and blocked me while he was there he’d be DEAD DEAD 🙂

Omg I forgot my most obvious cheap hack. I exclusively eat free Jersey Mikes subs. Like I think I might be the reason they go bankrupt 😂

Why is the Phillies game blacked out? I mean I guess I should be saying thank you, but I like to suffer

Why am I getting invested in this weirdo who thinks you have to be rich to see live music???

I’m so glad I have my period the week Noah Kahan released his new album 🥲

Only problem is I don’t remember where I put all my stolen tampons

Pennsylvania Hockey am I right 🥵

Me during the Olympics: go Crosby, go team Canada 🍁🩷🥰 Me any other time: FUCK YOU CROSBY YOU LITTLE BITCH 🤬🖕🏻😤

What do you guys do that make you feel super cheap? Because anytime I see free tampons I grab a stash

Today a girl was refusing to test, and not really even responding to me when I was trying to talk to her about taking the test. And eventually I took her up to the library and I was like we’ll get you signed in. And she was like “actually I don’t know how to get into the app, I haven’t been in

My colleague today while proctoring my ELA state test, had his desks arranged in groups instead of separated into rows, and then let 7th graders choose their own seats. Then he had the audacity to ask me if they were always behaved like this

One might think it a requirement to drive on the PA turnpike with some kind of Philadelphia sports decal on the back of your car

Look what just came on shuffle. I blame @sulkirk.bsky.social 😡

The girls are taking selfies in the Wawa bathroom get it

I may not me at the Sphere, however!!!!

I was wondering why the first track on Charlie Puth’s album sounded so familiar and shit he actually turned Jimmy Fallon’s voicemail into a song 🤣🤣🤣

Nothing can make me gag quite like wolfing down three hard boileds for breakfast

I accidentally listened to an album on shuffle. Do I take myself to jail or will they come find me??

YOU FUCKING COCKFUCSUCKERS STEP AND FOOT I SWEAR ON GOD @halleycomet3.bsky.social @footiusmaximus.bsky.social

Pete Crow-Armstrong looks like he should play for the M3ts (derogatory)

Alec Bhom’s parents must have done a number on this kid because he is fucked in the head

Me searching up “what is psyop”

Nothing quite like almost shitting yourself in goodwill to stop you from buying things you don’t need

Eagles Super Bowl confetti has been around the moon. Let that sink in. Go birds forever

I guess I better get started on my taxes

Idk but the influencers going to Coachella and vlogging about how they’re going into the festival at 6:45 pm because they only want to see Bieber really pisses me the fuck off

Watching The Masters and crying bc Oscar went to heaven today 😭

Two days ago I said “dang I need to listen to The Beatles more often” not knowing that Tom had tickets for us to see this string quartet cover Beatles songs 🥹

My first slurpee, but this is the same as an icee right?

Craigslist came thru for my guy

Why are we concerned about Ticketmaster this COT that?? When we can just follow Seth’s lead and buy our tickets on Craigslist

Went to the pool solo for the first time today and felt kinda bad for only swimming 2,000 yds and then I realized how insane that sounds 🤣

I could never be a 🔫 owner because if I saw someone throw trash out their car window I would chase them down and threaten them with my 🔫

Special tater flip shout out to: @msdarthmikeshair.bsky.social @phunkywitch.bsky.social @zzbenz.bsky.social @simonb72.bsky.social @halleycomet3.bsky.social & @steelytom1.bsky.social They sent a wicked thoughtful package of goodies (*everything we are wearing) This community really is tops. ❤️🫶🥔🍳✌️

My Gen Z brother just described Pink Floyd as “musical nonsense” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ this is apparently the one thing I failed him in

No respect for anyone who buys into the Jalen Hurts slander. But especially not anyone “blaming” his all-female team 🤡🤡

I just heard someone say “my legs are the hardest part of my body to accept, but if they disappeared, I’d be furious” and I think that just changed my life

Omg I actually made it to spring break someone make me a martini

The day before Spring break in middle school. We locked up Chromebooks yesterday (🙌🏻) to prepare to state testing. So today we’re playing Apples to Apples. Currently have students in study hall working on a puzzle 🤯

I had an 8th grader in my room at lunch and we historically have really good conversations about the world and president and so forth and today she’s standing there looking out the window and she goes “don’t you really think Trǔmp is turning it around?” So my head snaps up and I’m like “what!!”

Bitches love SOSA

I love to hear about the perks other people get at their job like fully stocked snack bars and catered lunches. And I’m like I got 3 minutes to go to the bathroom today between a parent conference and my 4th period class 🤣🤣