banned from dunder mifflin hq because i thought they sold terlet paper 😅

I'm being deployed tomorrow. Cyber-Afghanistan really kicked the hornets nest with the United States of Disco. I am Progno-Athiest but if there exists a HypnoGod, I hope he blesses me with the Silicated Strength I'll need to endure this terrible Rightmare. A plate of raw chicken with the spices.

you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think "man i really gotta shave my butthole"?

why argue about who's a sniffer and who's a farter? we all do both.

stop eating chips with the dips and start eating fries with the guys

my parents used to call me the peanut butter gamer all the time because I used to shit myself so hard when gaming that it looked like the controller was covered in peanut butter. I wonder if that's how he got his name too?

u ever wonder if chuggaaconroy ever got a footjob?

when are they gonna start teaching throat game at the old folks home again? these hoes need it.

aint way this is how im finding out they can do this

breaks into logan paul's house and shouts YUGIOOOOOHHHHHH while I crease all his pokemon cards

you think jfk knew he was being shot at?

nopapapadayo

sometimes the image of satan scares me. at 2 beers I have to hunt him down. at 4 everyone look like satan

smoked salmon look like it go right on yo dih. dont it?

pops is telling me mom used to stick strings of cranberries up his ass and use it as a Christmas countdown. did not need to hear that dad🤦‍♂️

what u doing if da cops say "let us finger your butthole or we dump 12 rounds into your cerebral cortx."??? 🤷‍♂️

dick holes look like they would shoot cum no?

imma let god handle this next sentence. isbddkd ofjdoxla hfjdkdndd ddk friend dissolved djfdkdf hewo osj pl pane.

I'M ON THAT GOOD love AND and support from friends and family.,

normal people during sex: aw man i came too early gamers during sex: yes! i skipped the cutscene!

WAKE UP DP ME BROTHA!

dudes are 36 years old and call themselves femboys

the honey smacks frog got a pussy that looks just like the cereal

gnome fucking is missouri's new favorite past time

"Deck the halls with boughs of molly" - me if i were writing christmas songs in the hood

fnf after making 2 million on kickstarter:

@jd-vance-1.bsky.social stop sending me unsolicited poop pics in dms bro.

i have no mouth and i must suck cock

ernest gets a fleshlight

therapist: please jonesy. put down the gun and take your meds. me:

FUCK MAN I LOVE DINO NUGGEST SO FUCKING MUCH

throwback to when I first had sex, and instantly had to kick the girl out because i was so fucking pissed my virginity was now lost media

john quincy adams vs john wayne gacey

If you think about it, your foreskin is cut content.

don't call em slampigs bro.

How it feels to leave a bathroom reeking

that bitch rowling wants my dih so bad she put her stupid wizards in fortnite just to get my attention 😭i told nephew about it and he started LAUGHIN!!! I 🗣️DONT 🗣️WANNA 🗣️FUCK 🗣️ YOU 🗣️ HOE 🗣️

real tallk rq: when u follow the jonesy u will NEVER have to worry about ai posts. i am legitimate!!! back to the funny now. cum poop. 👍

my cracka tommy just set the world record for most kidney stones in one piss! nice work big T! 🥳

where is god.

susan b anthony vs playboi carti

Brentalfloss has gone WOKE

you think jk rowling takes the biggest nastiest shits when she goes out in public?

why you look like michael rosen?

I think this happened to everyone the first time they did this

give me a few hours with jk rowling. she'll leave a different person.

@capcomusa.com why did you sell me this?

@harada-tekken.bsky.social YOU A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER