The wave is clearly death and your son is possessed by the restless spirit of Ingmar Bergman.

Not following #theapprentice, but have we finally reached the "Lord Sir Alan, you're a clapped out 80s has-been whose products were always a joke and I don't really give a shit what you think" stage?

Josh will be bopping George on the head before we know it. #thearchers

Clarrie happy to be free of #thearchers

Woohoo! Where is Esme from today?? #thearchers

Didn't this Rosie Holt thing used to be called 'Yes, Minister?' #thearchers

Ooch. The BBC gave Rosie Holt a three series contract back when she was all that on the Twitter. 😬 #thearchers

"... wider legislation to remove disgraced Peers." #pmqs

Paul's gone a bit camp again. #thearchers

No diamonds on this ring, then... #thearchers

Is it a butt plug? #thearchers

Maybe talk to Stella instead of randos. #thearchers

Deervid not liking the idea of someone else getting it on with Esme. #thearchers

Wot no Latin? #thearchers

So are we meant to understand that Joy meant to stop Mick going after George, but then got distracted by the call from Rochelle? #thearchers

Hurrah! #thearchers win again! 🙄

"You've no idea what I've been through in the last few days." Yh, bugger the artist. #thearchers

Is George about to get randomly dead? It's murrrderrr! #thearchers

So now Geaarge can have a grievance against Roof and Esmy. #thearchers

Esme now heading down towards the West Country. #thearchers

Esme starting out Welsh today. #thearchers

Lucky we didn't buy a load of fighter jets that can be turned off by the US. #wato

Gotta love #thearchers; it never fails to disappoint.

He keeps a set of pipes in a shed? #thearchers

Ooh... "Spirits are raised" in #thearchers! Nigel returning to haunt/accuse David?

So... Tonight's the night! #thearchers

Esme. Go back to web design. Do it for #thearchers listeners, please!

#thearchers #NaBoghadairean

It's Will and Ed 2.0; I guess these things happen when your gene pool is a puddle. #thearchers

This is Elvis 1977 stuff: rambling, incoherent, nearing the end. #Davos

Feels like we're spiralling into the endgame.

Fallon's message in full: IF YOU REPORT ME I WILL TURN YOU IN. #thearchers

The key line in tonight's #thearchers: "How could you have seen me? You weren't there!"

Wut no shouting or angina attack for Brine? Harumph. #thearchers

"And now we proceed to the ritual beating." #thearchers

FML Ruaridggggh is a proper little Lord Foppington. #thearchers

"Why don't we take it in turns to throw abuse..." #thearchers

Oh lawks. George is going to blow himself up and take all #thearchers with him! 😯

Hmm. What would casual farm work mean? Getting up at 4am every day in the hope of a call? Being paid a shit day rate? Doing all the dog work on a twelve hour shift while the farm owner swans about moaning about the weather and IhT to all and sundry down the pub? #thearchers

Your reminder that January 31st is self assessment deadline day, courtesy of #thearchers

Who is in charge of the "Burns Night" tally? #thearchers

It's over? All good, then. 😂 #thearchers

It's the uneaten pie I feel sorry for. #thearchers

"This event will go down in Ambridge history!" Bookmark it now. #thearchers

Yes, Joy; postpone until the summer when Highland games actually happen. #thearchers

Fair play to #thearchers for taking Burns out of Burns night. 👍 #thearchers

Can't wait to hear Brian taking on the heavy events. 😬 #thearchers

Zoink! Akram's done a Nigel! #thearchers