Good evening, Mr. Chonk

See you all at BSides Pyongyang in less than an hour!!! www.eventbrite.com/e/bsides-pyo...

It puts the lotion on its skin... And struggles to open the door again.

I hated AI before it was cool.

If I could take one thing from previous career field and insert it into the tech industry, it would be hygiene. I hate going to tech functions cause they're as plague-riddled as a herd of unwashed kindergarteners. Wash your damn hands!

Facts

I enjoy letting my pumpkins sit out for a little while after Halloween. Something about an aging jack-o-lantern with some moldy spots feels like peak autumn serotonin.

All my scars from when I was a tech are from these tiny things. Accurate af.

Cats don't give a shit about your daylight savings.

The nightly monch with Blossom the Possum

Bring me all your garbage.

RIP to the dev who dropped their prod DB and then made this gem.

Show me. Show me your bird photos.

Looked at my data collections for state-backed activity. If the report were a picture:

My log has a message for you.

🤌🤌🤌

If you've been good this year, maybe you'll get a little Linux... as a treat.

Snipping Tool + MS Paint were my top tools -- I produced hundreds of memes during my years as a consultant. 2025: No MS Paint, no Clippy, no audio jacks on phones... we are in dark times.

Beware the person who wants to find the negative when you're happy or proud of something. They're not trying to ground you, they're not doing you any favors, they're miserable and they're a thief of joy. Take more care to surround yourself by those who amplify the good. ♥️ Life is short.

You ever walk by windows with really fucked up blinds and just smile like, "ah, I see you also have cats."

Have also been hearing photos uploaded to the app have all the exif metadata retained. For over a decade, I've been heavily at work to help victims of domestic violence, specifically with mobile forensics and safety. This leak could have nightmarish physical backlash.

And just like that, the romance of space travel is dead. Long live deep sea exploration!

Mentally, I am here...

Happy caturday from the Fig playing in her personal water park.

BSides Las Vegas Silent Auction and Raffle is seeking donations. Do you have fun items or conference blankets? Let us know! Email tiffanykeller [at] BSideslv [dot] org for details, or to arrange a donation.

🙏

T-minus 12 days until my favorite humans - @eric.zip & @whit.zip - and I deliver our Advanced Security Operations and Threat Hunting training at @blackhatevents.bsky.social. If you're a SOC analyst and/or work in IR, we'd love to have you. Come level up with us :) www.blackhat.com/us-25/traini...

Followers in or around NYC, if ever there was a time to consider adoption, that time is now. Many pets do better in pairs or with a friend, so you can get your pet a pet or bring home a bonded pair. If you've ever adopted, like this post. If you've adopted more than once, RT. ❤️

Turn my back on the clean laundry for 2 minutes...

Chonkodile

[tapping intensifies]

This one hurts

Best supervisor ever.

I love the ocean and all its majestic creatures.

Our newest feral "cat."

Goals

Cilantro can die! It can die and go to hell!

Happy birthday, Canada!

Evergreen 🌲

Only cats will decide to be incredibly codependent and cuddly during a heat wave. My alarm clock rang at leg o'clock this morning.

"New bag, who dis?"

If this DOESN'T bother you, you deserve to be on several watch lists.

Well actioned! Grateful to @lawrenceabrams.bsky.social today for keeping the clickbait in check 🤌 www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/securit...