He’s sitting down next to the hole Plago is digging, picking up a rock and turning it over in his hands. Then, pocketing it, “Ye think moles think we’re fuckin’ shite at diggin’?”

“Yer da one using’ it. Figured you’d dae yer research. Think he was jist diggin' wi' his hands an' 'en realized ‘oh, shite, there’s enuff rubbish ah coods make a shovel?’”

“Wha invented th' fierst shovel?”

Whit? Ye dinnae speak common? That’s a'richt, ah kin huv a go tae simplify it fur ye. Na fashes at a', friend. I said ah think tis a moggie. Meow meow. Bit he's bin cursed.

Weel, if ah didnae ken ony better, a'd say that's a moggie, bit yin that haes bin zapped by a witch tae eternally be in that moment whin ye jus wake up efter a nap, whaur yer feelin' worse than ye did whin th' nap stairted. Ye ken?

Heard o' gaun broke. Ne'er heard o' gettin sae rich ye explode.

… coin species?

“Why wid ah be digging a hole? Dun git nothin' doon thare.”

Uh, kin someone len me a quick silver?

“Ye missed a spaht.”

‘Less they've bin smoking herbs.

Nae unless tis fin.

Ah, bugger. Mah heid is pounding.

That made him perk up. “Ye got sum yer wantin’ t’ share?”

A'm needin' someone tae skelp me ower th' heid 'til ah fall asleep.

Life.

Is it? Wine is dark, red, 'n' aged in a dark moist steid. Blood is dark, red, 'n' aged in a dark moist steid.

Ah knew a vampire spawn wance. Sweet guy, bit he wid lie 'n' say he liked a dark red wine. Ye shuid huv a go at that!

… Ye asking tae git staked? Likelie shouldn’t be announcing that or else th' wrong fowk might overhear.

Vegan?

I don’ git it.

Ye'r a bawherr tae kinky fur mah tastes bit guid luck.

Tae seduce a dragon.

Ahm not seducing anythin'. Ah hae natural charms ah rely oan.

… Wanna gie a bevvy?

Fowk think a'm glaikit bit th' jokes oan thaim.

Ye'll definitely see th' dragon comin'.

Awright, ye'r learning!

A'd hawp nae. Then they'd be plagarizing me afore ah even said it, whilk technically means thay wid owe me.

Thare wid definitely be some pressin’ happenin’.

Thir's na need tae shout juist fur ye hae trauchle understanding th' wey ah blether. Ah ken that tis scary tae realize that freish hings wull continue tae shaw up throo'oot oor bides bit whin we stoap 'n' tak' th' time tae truly learn, oor horizons wull gruw tr’mendously.

👀

Thay don’t hae tastebuds or something? …. Or dae thay juist lik' th' taste?

S’how you blow up a bathtub.

“Er’body's sae romantic.”

Dae ye think that dragons tell thair young aboot brave dragons that rescue princesses frum social constructions?

“Anyone got a sliver?”

Tis always pie day if ye'r nae a feartie-cat wha is feart o' whimsy.

He’s taking a quick nap. Excuse the snoring.

“Aye! How much? Ye tak' copper?”

(Blink. Blink.)

If ye ever ca' me that again, ah will hae tae ca' th' toun guards.

How come an alien needs gowd coins?

………………..How come, if yar an alien, ya set up a bakery oan mah world?

... Whit th' fuck is an alien?

Ye said ye ainlie fought hings that threatened th' bakery. Whit kind o' hings are a threat tae a bakery?

Whit wid that include? Evil gingerbread men? Cake golems?

@wimpywizard.bsky.social “Ah packed all mah things. So, where are we gaun?”

Ah git polymorphed wance. Turned intae a rat 'n' bit th' bastard that transformed me.

“Th'day, ah become an adventurer. Th' world better keep edgy!”