Me: Perro ven y séntarte aquí (Dog, come sit here) 🐶: Trudges over and sits where I point. Me: 😲 I HAVE A BILINGUAL DOGGIE! Crystal: (from other room) Trilingual! He also speaks dog!

There is no better way to get a pizza delivered! 😆

Me: So, you laid off your top employees. 🙍🏻‍♂️: They weren't following the AI transformation plan. Me: ...Who are owed large bonuses. Which normally comes from the revenue they bring. 🙍🏻‍♂️: But they aren't anymore. Me: Did you consider NOT laying off your top performers?! 🙍🏻‍♂️: They weren't using the AI!

Nonsense wants to wish everyone a Happy National Puppy Day! Right, Nonsense? Nonsense? He secretly really does care.

Me: Come inside, Crystal! My weather app says there's a storm out! Crystal: What storm? There hasn't been a drop of rain. Me: Crystal... 🌩️: (FLASH) ⛈️: KABOOM! (Starts raining on Crystal) Crystal: 😑 Me: Congratulations Crystal, you just pissed off the weather. Now get your rubber ass inside. 🤦‍♀️

Wait, are those supposed to be MY Nurglings? LEAVE MY BABIES ALONE OR I WILL END YOU! ☠️

I just watched the new episode of TADC.

Decided to see if pegging a caged sissy is as fun as porn makes it seem. The cage had other plans. The chastity cage stays secure during routine tasks, but pops right off during sex! "This device will protect your chastity, unless you try having sex. Then it'll fail completely!" Crystal, fix that!

Imagine if everyone on Fetlife started posting like this.

Finishing some last minute emails. 💻: Please finish by Tuesday at the latest. Me: (Stretch) Okay one more. (Nonsense walks in my office) 🐶: 3 am Bed Now. Me: I have one more ema... 🐶: GLARE! ☠️ Me: 😓 Fine I'll do it tomorrow. (In Bed) Me: Hug? 🥺 Crystal: Death glare? Me: It was horrible. 😭

Driving with 🐶 in the passenger seat Me: Music? (BOOP) 📻: New Hit Radio! 🐶: (NOSE BOOP) 📻: Sport Talk 24/7 Me: Hey! (BOOP) 🐶: (NOSE BOOP) Want 80's tunes. 📻: 2000's and Today Me: Hey! (BOOP) 🐶: Want 80's! (NOSE BOOP) Me: That's it back seat! 🐶: 🥺 Me: SIGH! (BOOP) 📻: Rockin 80's 🐶: 🥹

Yeah. I've been there. Be strong.

Me: Mistress! I think I figured it how to improve chastity cage sizing! This device lets us measure for ring sizes and ball gap. I call it a boffarometer. @mistressaspyce.bsky.social: Why’s it called a… “boffarometer”? Me: 😀 *inhale…*

I'm starting to see the appeal of putting sissies in chastity. I thought of it as a way to stop me from playing with sissy cock, but it's actually a way to make sure my playtime lasts as long as I want. Sadistically speaking.

🙂 I decided to give up alcohol for Lent. It's been twelve days... And the remaster of Pokemon Leaf Green is the only thing keeping me FROM MURDERING EVERYONE NEARBY!🔥 Crystal/🐶: 😰

I was actually contacted by a company who wanted to build an AI that could update my style of femdom. They kept pitching about how efficient it would be to let the AI take over training my subs! As if kinky sex was a task that needed to be optimized! Who even thinks about relationships that way!?

What the hell is a courgette, anyway? Actually, I don't care. Whatever it is, don't put it in holes where courgettes don't belong. 😭

The funniest part of the vanilla party was when they wanted to get kinky, and pulled out a VELCRO bondage set. What I thought: Oh, yes. Your sub TOTALLY can't escape from that. You look so impressive. Just like a real dom. What I said: "Wow, so kinky."

I forgot how much fun vanilla play parties can be. Even if it's been done before, getting your nipples sucked by a couple you barely know is still getting your nipples sucked.

I had the most wonderful Valentine's Day. I spent it on the couch playing Pokemon Violet with my favorite rubberdoll cockwarming my strap-on. That's what a romantic evening should look like. ❤️

For Valentine's Day, Crystal surprised me with a crocheted Umbreon plushy! He's been sitting on my lap as I watch television, while 🐶 stares at him with jealousy.

I was watching a video on YouTube. A big doberman was getting a spa day and enjoying every second. Me: (Looks at 🐶) 🐶: 🤨 Me: 🤔 🐶: 😠 Don't even think about it. Me: 😅 I would never.

We're sorry, @joshtigerhill.bsky.social ! All of us thought that Final Jeopardy question was bullshit, too!

I always root for the under dog, but that rule is fighting my every instinct screaming "Fuck the Patriots."

Watching the opening ceremonies to the Olympics. Did we always have so many countries?

Insurance came through! Unfortunately, my phone was too old for them to replace, and I was forced to accept a new Pixel 10 Pro as compensation. Oh noes.😏 Now I have a new phone and didn't have to pay a cent. It makes all the time I spent on hold almost worth it. Almost.

That sandwich isn't lunch, it is an experience.

Me (Over Zoom): And those are some of the services we can provide. 👩‍💼: Do you have a portfolio I can look at? Me: We're not artists, we provide services. I can offer previous clients as references. 👩‍💼: I don't want to talk to some guy you met at a bar. What about a TikTok showing how you work?

I found a fun quiz online. It tells you what your female archetype is. I came up as the Nurturer. I'd love to hear what your archetypes are. Here is the link for anyone curious. quiz.atlasofsoul.com/feminine-arc...

This storm looks really bad. Make sure to charge your vibrators and start warming up your dildos now, just in case.

Crystal: Mistress, I'm busy cooking. What do you need? Me: I'm so horny. Put something down my throat. 🤤 Crystal: Ummm... (Looks around counter) okay. 😈 Me: NOT THE GHOST PEPPERS! 😨

Watching the trailer to FemDomination 3. Me: Lotsa porn in this VR porn, but no pink. You know why they don't show the women's vaginas right? Crystal: Because they want you to pay for the full game? Me: Because vaginas aren't pretty Crystal: Mistress, I think you're not the target demographic.

The new Custodes look so bad ass! I don't think I've liked a Custodes design this much since their naked and oiled era. If you told me to imagine a 10-foot tall demigoddess who spent centuries training to achieve martial perfection, this would be close.

🐶 decided he wanted cuddles at 2am. Me: 😴 🐶: (jumps on my bed) :sniff sniff: Me: 😖...🫩 'smatter? 🐶: 🥺 (I want cuddles) Me: 🥱 C'mere (I hold 🐶 against me) 🐶: 🥹...🥱 Me/🐶: 😴...❤️

Crystal: Mistress! I found our missing hentai DVDs! Me: I thought we lost them when my parents were snooping. Parade Parade, Kite, Interspecies Reviewers. Hetalia? Crystal: Complete filth. Me: We need a hentai-watching spot. What do you say to putting a TV in the Sissy room? Crystal: I get a TV?

What do sissies think they'll learn in a wife bootcamp? It's 2026! Training to be a suburban housewife would be how to do brunch, how to give a blowjob, and where to score oxycodone.

I feel so called out. Maybe I like my small screen. 😑 www.youtube.com/shorts/k-xRg...

In Puerto Rico, January 6th is Three Kings Day. It's a holiday when we give practical gifts. Christmas is when you get the toys and jewelry. Three Kings Day is for giving clothes, socks, and Sissy Maids. Happy Three Kings Day! 🐪🐫🐪

I agree, people of the internet! How dare they sexualize a grown adult with a career! 🤔 Wait a minute...

Sigh. We had to cancel our New Years bar hop plans. Our friends took the nose stick and are now COVID approved. Instead we'll be watching Dick Clark's Eternally Tormented Spirit's Rockin' New Year's Eve 2026 on TV.

In her last blog post, I asked Crystal what smut she has been posting that Tumblr flagged as unacceptable. This is picture is an example. Apparently, Chie looks too young to be on top of me. For the record: WE'RE BOTH ADULTS IN THIS PICTURE AND CHIE IS OLDER THAN ME.

For novelty, I searched for "Warhammer" on Pornhub. "Regiment Cuckolded by Their Commissar" "Sister of Battle Corrupted by an Entire Brayherd" And an audio drama of a Bretonian Questing Knight being rewarded by the Lady of the Lake with a taste from her grail. They got the WHFB lore right, too!

Let's see what all these new AI categories on Pornhub look like.😏 It looks like regular porn, but every time the man thrusts, his penis retracts into his body.🫤 Wow, sex has changed. Have we been doing it wrong the entire time?🤔

Christmas is over. I have the day off, a new laptop, and I don't have to act wholesome anymore. I'm going to waste the entire afternoon on Pornhub!

I wish I could give more loves!

I've got the grumpy femboy, the stroopwaffles, and Pokemon Z-A. Can I get a volunteer big boob kigurumi to make my Christmas complete?

Merry Christmas to all! Have a Merry, Happy, and Healthy, Christmas! 🎄 💖

I think I did a pretty good job on the “Country Christmas” theme for this year’s decorations.

You've heard of Elf on the Shelf Now get ready for Sissy Bitch on My Switch

I am loving this!