Crystal: Seems like there was a leak of the last episode of Digital Circus. Me: What?! That ruins the whole point! Crystal: It's not that big a de- Me: NO! You can't watch a leak! It dishonors Gooseworx's memory! Crystal: First, she's still alive, and she doesn't care. Me: 😶 Hmph. Well I do. 😑

(Crystal leans against me and tries to purr as I check her temperature.) Me: You're still sick. And still in that weird rubber kitty mood. Which means I can't fuck you. Crystal: You can fuck me. Just pet me and give me dried fish after. Me: Dried fish from where? Crystal: ... dried fish store?

What Crystal doesn't mention is that Chie's safewords are all Pokemon moves. "Sword Dance" means she wants more pain, and "Feather Dance" means to go lighter.

Terms introduced to my Tomodachi island: * Forced feminization * Markiplier * Latex clothes * Sexual entertainment * Boardgames * Eating Tide Pods * Furries * "Holy cats, a talking balls!" * Modesty

I feel called out. 😏

At the doctor's office. 📱: No connection. Me: Sigh. (Walk to the receptionist) Can I have the wi-fi password? 🧑🏾‍💻: Of course. It's "guest" all lowercase. Me: Thanks (signing on) 📱: (2 bars) Please connect to internet. Me: 😑 Seriously?!

I recently took up sewing. Important tip: If a woman of a certain age buys sewing supplies for the first time, a computer somewhere flags you as "about to have a baby." The house is now covered in free samples of Enfamil, post-baby gym offers, and DoorDash coupons ("Because we know you're busy") 🤦‍♀️

Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy, and Happy. There's a secret 7th gender, but you need 300 hours of lab work and your thesis has to past review first.

This is what Nonsense looked like in this story. A cute little ball of chaos in a pride sweatshirt.

(Walking into the kitchen) 📻: 🎼🎵🎶 Crystal: (Shaking her booty as she stirs the pan) Julio, get the stretch! Me: 😳 📻: Saturday night and we're in the spot... Crystal: Don't believe me, just watch! (Strikes a pose as she pours wine into the pot) Me: What are you doing? Crystal: 😶 ...cooking.

Today's Maid Day AND Mother's Day. As both a domme who trains sissy maids 😈 and a loyal Puerto Rican daughter 😇, do you have ANY IDEA how many times I had to code switch today?

To my wonderful doll, I am sorry for messing up the kitchen. I realized now how much it takes to maintain a space that can handle making your wonderful meals. I hope you can forgive me for messing up your space. Now please stop making me watch the dog eat better than I've been.

Me: Ugh. Crystal, my tummy hurts. Can you make... Crystal: Still on kitchen strike. Me: GodDA... ooogh. My stomach. 🤢

For #MistressEats, Crystal picked me up a bag of Turkey Noodle flavoured Lays... Crystal, the bag says "Very Spicy" on it. (So do Doritos! It's fine!) It says Spicy in simplified Chinese. It's a Cantonese "Very Spicy". (Eat the damn chips, Mistress!) I think Crystal is still mad at me.

Stove: *crackle crackle sizzle* Crystal: Mistress what are you doing? Me: I got tired of soup so I'm making fried chicken Crystal: You can cook? Me: Of course. I worked at a KFC through college. I just prefer you to do it. Crystal: The kitchen strike isn't ending soon? Me: Not this week.

Crystal's still on kitchen strike, but tonight, I feast on Campbell's Chunky soup! And Crystal has a cutlet bowl that looks like... Me: Is that the recipe from Campfire Cooking in Another World!? Crystal: Yep. And I even have a giant beast companion to share with. Here's your portion, 🐶. 🐶: 🤤

At least the AI acknowledges you! I search for myself, and it comes back with, "Mistress Aspyce is a ruthless and influential Rogue Trader serving the Imperium of Man, specifically operating in the Koronus Expanse." It makes me sound TOO badass!

(I'm shocked awake 3am) Me: 😳 Baby? Don't you usually sleep in Crystal's bed? 🐶: Shiny Person punched me! In the nose! 🥺 Me: Oh, baby. Crystal's a little dangerous to be around. You can sleep in mommy's bed. And you can even have Crystal's pillow for petty vengeance.

Me: Dog! I overcooked a piece of tonkatsu. You want it? 🐶: 🤤 Me: Okay. Sit. Now wait. Wait! Wait, dammit! *smacks dog on the nose with a cutting board* I SAID WAIT! @mistressaspyce.bsky.social: *Barely looks up from her iPad* Wait. 🐶: *Sits down with his chin up*

When Crystal is this sore, she has a habit of kung fu-ing in her sleep. To avoid looking like a battered woman in the morning, Crystal has been exiled from my bedroom while she recovers.

Me: Beckandra. Tiffany Torquemada. Crystal: Mistress, what are you doing? Me: I want to add a Throne of Blame to my bimbo sororitas army, but I need a grimdark name for a murderous blonde who thinks she's superior to you. Like Jenn O' Siedhe or... Crystal: 🤔 Karen. Me: Woah! I just got chills. 😱

The local supermarket has started carrying meads, all with over the top fantasy themes. On #MistressEats, BEHOLD! The Warhammer 40 Proof!

Some of the best moments are sitting with your ball of nonsense, in the driveway, enjoying the sun together.

Crystal- Nonsense, the spoons are what's called "material evidence." You have to hide the evidence for a successful... Me- NO! BAD DOLL! YOU ALREADY TAUGHT THE DOG JUDO! DO NOT TEACH HIM HOW TO DO A HEIST! 🐶- :whimper:

Thanks to a YouTube reactor, I started watching The Swan, the 2004 reality TV show. How did anyone find this entertaining? What the hell was with giving everyone brow lifts!?

I hate getting nail stamps at the salon. They always want to make your nails longer than you ask for, but if your nails aren't JUST the right length, the stamps don't look right.

🧛🏻‍♀️: Subs who can bake are hot! 👸🏻: But it's not like you can just order your man to make you fresh bread. There aren't any pretty guys who can bake bread. Me: Actually, my Crystal knows how to bake bread. 👸🏻: You're right and I'm wrong. Now that I can demand bread from a pretty boy, it's hot.

Nonsense and Crystal got caught in a huge rain storm while on his walk. Nonsense ran into the house, shook water all over the place, and left a trail of wet paw prints. I slipped and fell on Crystal's hamper clothes going everywhere. Soaking wet and adorable Chaos Goblin strikes again.

Me: YEAH, ALCREMIE TIME TO SPARKLE! 🎮: Alcremie uses Dazzling Gleam. Flygon fainted. Me: YEAH! That's my girl! Crystal: Mistress aren't you supposed to be choosing a new hire for the company? What are you doing? Me: Research.

#MistressEats has come to this. Prebiotic Pepsi. Pepsi that helps you poop. Why the hell not? How about we try high-protein Mountain Dew next? Low-fat Dr. Pepper with wheat germ! Some kind of diet Coke! Wait. That one's real. 1/

Puppygirls are trending on Bluesky? I wonder why. "Puppygirls are the new sissies" "Something has to be done"!? What needs to be done is giving puppygirls lots of toys and love! Can we find actual problems and complain about those for a while?

Let's be clear. I will not chew on 🐶's squeaky toys. I prefer the crinkly ones.

nickname: Miss, Mistress pronouns: she/her height: 5'6" sexuality: Heterosexual smoke: Never piercings: Ears tattoos: Not on this body color: Green fav 🍸 drink: Cosmopolitan or Side Car fav 🥤 drink: Tea fav food: Chicken Marsala fav animal: Elephants 🐘

📖:😍 He slowly turned facing me his cheeks red. His hand gently held mine. I turned my cheeks going pink. He leaned to my ear. "I Love..." Crystal: 🤨 Mistress? Me: EEP! 😵 (My manga falls to the floor) Crystal: (eyes the book) Shõjo? 😏 Me: 🫣 Oh shut up. (Blushing profusely)

I have tried the K-Pop demons McDonald's meal. 😩 The nugget sauce was okay, like spicy duck sauce, but the fries. 😭 They give you a bag of the powder from a Cup O Noodles, a paper baggie, and tell you to dump your fries in there and go nuts. 🥺 Epic Fail.

Me: Perro ven y séntarte aquí (Dog, come sit here) 🐶: Trudges over and sits where I point. Me: 😲 I HAVE A BILINGUAL DOGGIE! Crystal: (from other room) Trilingual! He also speaks dog!

There is no better way to get a pizza delivered! 😆

Me: So, you laid off your top employees. 🙍🏻‍♂️: They weren't following the AI transformation plan. Me: ...Who are owed large bonuses. Which normally comes from the revenue they bring. 🙍🏻‍♂️: But they aren't anymore. Me: Did you consider NOT laying off your top performers?! 🙍🏻‍♂️: They weren't using the AI!

Nonsense wants to wish everyone a Happy National Puppy Day! Right, Nonsense? Nonsense? He secretly really does care.

Me: Come inside, Crystal! My weather app says there's a storm out! Crystal: What storm? There hasn't been a drop of rain. Me: Crystal... 🌩️: (FLASH) ⛈️: KABOOM! (Starts raining on Crystal) Crystal: 😑 Me: Congratulations Crystal, you just pissed off the weather. Now get your rubber ass inside. 🤦‍♀️

Wait, are those supposed to be MY Nurglings? LEAVE MY BABIES ALONE OR I WILL END YOU! ☠️

I just watched the new episode of TADC.

Decided to see if pegging a caged sissy is as fun as porn makes it seem. The cage had other plans. The chastity cage stays secure during routine tasks, but pops right off during sex! "This device will protect your chastity, unless you try having sex. Then it'll fail completely!" Crystal, fix that!

Imagine if everyone on Fetlife started posting like this.

Finishing some last minute emails. 💻: Please finish by Tuesday at the latest. Me: (Stretch) Okay one more. (Nonsense walks in my office) 🐶: 3 am Bed Now. Me: I have one more ema... 🐶: GLARE! ☠️ Me: 😓 Fine I'll do it tomorrow. (In Bed) Me: Hug? 🥺 Crystal: Death glare? Me: It was horrible. 😭

Driving with 🐶 in the passenger seat Me: Music? (BOOP) 📻: New Hit Radio! 🐶: (NOSE BOOP) 📻: Sport Talk 24/7 Me: Hey! (BOOP) 🐶: (NOSE BOOP) Want 80's tunes. 📻: 2000's and Today Me: Hey! (BOOP) 🐶: Want 80's! (NOSE BOOP) Me: That's it back seat! 🐶: 🥺 Me: SIGH! (BOOP) 📻: Rockin 80's 🐶: 🥹

Yeah. I've been there. Be strong.

Me: Mistress! I think I figured it how to improve chastity cage sizing! This device lets us measure for ring sizes and ball gap. I call it a boffarometer. @mistressaspyce.bsky.social: Why’s it called a… “boffarometer”? Me: 😀 *inhale…*

I'm starting to see the appeal of putting sissies in chastity. I thought of it as a way to stop me from playing with sissy cock, but it's actually a way to make sure my playtime lasts as long as I want. Sadistically speaking.