Crystal: Mistress, I'm busy cooking. What do you need? Me: I'm so horny. Put something down my throat. 🤤 Crystal: Ummm... (Looks around counter) okay. 😈 Me: NOT THE GHOST PEPPERS! 😨

Watching the trailer to FemDomination 3. Me: Lotsa porn in this VR porn, but no pink. You know why they don't show the women's vaginas right? Crystal: Because they want you to pay for the full game? Me: Because vaginas aren't pretty Crystal: Mistress, I think you're not the target demographic.

The new Custodes look so bad ass! I don't think I've liked a Custodes design this much since their naked and oiled era. If you told me to imagine a 10-foot tall demigoddess who spent centuries training to achieve martial perfection, this would be close.

🐶 decided he wanted cuddles at 2am. Me: 😴 🐶: (jumps on my bed) :sniff sniff: Me: 😖...🫩 'smatter? 🐶: 🥺 (I want cuddles) Me: 🥱 C'mere (I hold 🐶 against me) 🐶: 🥹...🥱 Me/🐶: 😴...❤️

Crystal: Mistress! I found our missing hentai DVDs! Me: I thought we lost them when my parents were snooping. Parade Parade, Kite, Interspecies Reviewers. Hetalia? Crystal: Complete filth. Me: We need a hentai-watching spot. What do you say to putting a TV in the Sissy room? Crystal: I get a TV?

What do sissies think they'll learn in a wife bootcamp? It's 2026! Training to be a suburban housewife would be how to do brunch, how to give a blowjob, and where to score oxycodone.

I feel so called out. Maybe I like my small screen. 😑 www.youtube.com/shorts/k-xRg...

In Puerto Rico, January 6th is Three Kings Day. It's a holiday when we give practical gifts. Christmas is when you get the toys and jewelry. Three Kings Day is for giving clothes, socks, and Sissy Maids. Happy Three Kings Day! 🐪🐫🐪

I agree, people of the internet! How dare they sexualize a grown adult with a career! 🤔 Wait a minute...

Sigh. We had to cancel our New Years bar hop plans. Our friends took the nose stick and are now COVID approved. Instead we'll be watching Dick Clark's Eternally Tormented Spirit's Rockin' New Year's Eve 2026 on TV.

In her last blog post, I asked Crystal what smut she has been posting that Tumblr flagged as unacceptable. This is picture is an example. Apparently, Chie looks too young to be on top of me. For the record: WE'RE BOTH ADULTS IN THIS PICTURE AND CHIE IS OLDER THAN ME.

For novelty, I searched for "Warhammer" on Pornhub. "Regiment Cuckolded by Their Commissar" "Sister of Battle Corrupted by an Entire Brayherd" And an audio drama of a Bretonian Questing Knight being rewarded by the Lady of the Lake with a taste from her grail. They got the WHFB lore right, too!

Let's see what all these new AI categories on Pornhub look like.😏 It looks like regular porn, but every time the man thrusts, his penis retracts into his body.🫤 Wow, sex has changed. Have we been doing it wrong the entire time?🤔

Christmas is over. I have the day off, a new laptop, and I don't have to act wholesome anymore. I'm going to waste the entire afternoon on Pornhub!

I wish I could give more loves!

I've got the grumpy femboy, the stroopwaffles, and Pokemon Z-A. Can I get a volunteer big boob kigurumi to make my Christmas complete?

Merry Christmas to all! Have a Merry, Happy, and Healthy, Christmas! 🎄 💖

I think I did a pretty good job on the “Country Christmas” theme for this year’s decorations.

You've heard of Elf on the Shelf Now get ready for Sissy Bitch on My Switch

I am loving this!

(wrestling with 🐶) Me: Raugh! Gotcha! 🐶: Have new secret technique. Dog Judo Dress Stripping Hentai Paw! Me: Hey, my boobs! 🐶: Dunno why this works on humans, but it works real good. Me: Why is it whenever we wrestle I lose my clothes?

Happy Holidays from #Mistresseats. Today we are trying Lay's Roasted Fish Flavour. How many seafood flavours does Lay's even have? We always seem to be finding more.

👷: One Christmas tree tied to your car, little lady. Me: No. The twine's slack, it's held together with a granny knot, and you're using my car's radio antenna as an anchor point. 👷: Wow. You know your knots. Me: Hand me the twine. I bet I can get this tree in a turtle harness in five minutes.

The guest bedroom has officially been converted back to the maids' room... And has been immediately appropriated.

I actually like my sissy maids to have built shoulders. It's why all the house uniforms have puffed sleeves.

Wanted: Muscle mommy groundskeeper / gardener. Goth style and piercings a plus. Benefits include gourmet meals, a house full of simping sissy maids, and a flexible sexual harassment policy. Tools, strap-on, and lube provided.

Me:(In vanilla mode) I love your shampoo. It smells amazing and makes my hair feel so silky. Mother-In-Law: Like it? This is an old shampoo, before the company made it "green." The secret ingredient is dimethicone, a silicone shining oil. Me:(With a very straight face) I'm... familiar with it.

We were streaming Horses the other night, and had to take a break in the middle of the stream. Not because we were traumatized by the castration minigame, but because 🐩 snuck over again and I needed to get him back home. At least now the people watching the stream know that 🐩's break-ins are real.

What is the plural of "milf?" Milfs or Milves I say "milves". It makes sense. Life, lives. Wolf, wolves. Milf, milves.

Me: Where is my doll? Not in the bedrooms or kitchen or... Crystal: (bending over to get clothes out of the dryer) Me: 😈👅🍑 Crystal: Eep! Mistress I'm... Me: Being used.

Me:🫩(Hour three of staring at spreadsheets.) 🐶: (Lays head on iPad) Me: Nonsense! Don't put your head on the tablet! 🐶:🤔 (Turns and places a big, fluffy tail on the screen) Me: Don't you dare. 🐶: (Wags. Wags very passive aggressively) Me: Are you hungry? I'll feed you if you stop. 🐶:🥳

Is it cheating to include leftovers on the Weekly Dinner Menu? Mon: Lotus root and Chinese sausage stir fry Tues: Thanksgiving leftovers Wed: Puerto Rican red beans and rice with grilled chicken Thurs: Steak, baked potato, and Caesar salad Fri: Chicken fajitas w/ fresh guacamole

First snow of the year. Driveway is shoveled. Sidewalk is shoveled. Dollmaid is very sore.

(🐶 is dragging throw pillows across the living room) @mistressaspyce.bsky.social ‘s dad: What’s your dog doing? 🐶: Dog tower. (🐶 stacks a pile of pillows on the couch so he can lay on top and look into the kitchen) 🐶: Shiny person and mommy’s mommy try to share kitchen is better than what on TV.

Since Crystal is de-kinking the house. I decided to make dinner. Did you know that you can't serve chicken medium rare? I learned that today.

Me: Girls, I have a job for you. Giant Pile of Sissies: "We're here to serve your every need Mistress." Me: My parents are coming over for Thanksgiving. The house needs to be de-kinked. Giant Pile of Sissies: "Oh... Ummm..." "I have a doctor's appointment." "Dentist." "Sorry." Crystal: Traitors!

🐶 had a tummy ache through the night. 🐶: (Whimper)🥺 Me: Crystal can you take Nonsense out?🫩 Crystal: Hmm? Why me? Why now?🥱 Me: THIS WILL BE MY THIRD TIME TONIGHT SO TAKE HIM OUT!! 😡 Crystal/🐶: 😨 Crystal: (Jumps out of bed) Um, c'mon dog I'll take you out this time. 🐶: Mommy is scary at 4am.

At the inaugural session of hopefully a new regular latex meetup! With @shinylatex.bsky.social @gummigirl.com @violetokami.bsky.social TitenSqueaky @mistressaspyce.bsky.social RubberFreak and Zencat 📷: R_D_M

Feeding my 🦎. 🦎: (munch munch) 😊 Me: Okay one mo...OOP! (Drops super worms) Crystal! Crystal: Yes MissWOAH! BIG Darkling beetle: Sup. 😎🪲 🐶: (Sniff sniff) 🤢 Me: Eek! Get it Doll! Crystal: You're the one that buys beetle larva. 😑 Me: CRYSTALl! 🥺 Crystal: Nope. Your bugs. Your mess.

My first-ever 3d printed 40k army is done! 1000 points of Drukhari daring Games Workshop to issue a C&D!

Nooo! Why do foodies keep taking comfort foods and... ORGANISING THEM!? Now they are going to charge $25 for a nine fry Poutine. 😩

Me: Hey! 🐶! Stop sticking your head up my butt. You have to ask the shiny person if she wants to share. 🐶: 🤔 (walks to the next room) Me: I didn't expect him to actually do that. Crystal (from the next room): You want to take some of the work off my plate? I'm okay with that. Me: CRYSTAL!?

Me: I still can't walk, but it's been relaxing being on all fours. Maybe I should go back to being a puppy. Crystal: Mistress, I already feed and walk 🐶. Now you want me to take care of a second dog? Me: Well, this dog can eat with a fork. Crystal: I've seen your table manners. No you can't.

(wumpWUMPwumpwump) ... (wumpwumpTHUDwumpwump) Me, from the kitchen: Mistress! Are you racing 🐶 up and down the stairs? (Long pause) @mistressaspyce.bsky.social: ... Noooo ...? (wumpWUMPwumpwump)

Bad news: I injured my ankle and can't walk. Good news: My puppy girl training is still ingrained in my muscle memory. I can even go up and down the stairs on all fours. Bipedal locomotion is overrated.

No! Don't lewd the Pokémon. They're so innocent and nostalgic and have better lawyers than you.

If you need support I send Support. If you need to be heard I send Understanding. And for those who need to be seen. I See you. You were never invisible. You are not alone. Even if it's just me. You will always have a +1.

I'll never forget the idea that when people talk about a top shortage, they often mean, "person who will fuck me the way I want to be fucked."

This week on a post-play party #Mistresseats, Loaded Nacho Lays. The guacamole-flavoured Doritos were made of disappointment. If Frito-Lays can't do a nacho-flavoured nacho, maybe they can figure out a nacho-flavoured non-nacho. That made sense in my head.

DollMaidCrystal: Then the HexDrones pressured them to stop selling the masks that kill you. Me: That's nice. Are there a lot of HexDrones? Crystal: You've been calling them "O-Drones." Me: That's a hexagon? Not a fancy O? Wait, they pissed off HOW MANY O-Drones? Crystal: All of them, Mistress.