"Your best route from Leicester to Nottingham is via Dundee, Addis Ababa and Sark. I can't help you with that. A Rail Replacement duck is in operation, and acts as a powerful reminder that, sometimes, when life throws you onions, you just have to fall over."

"On behalf of the committee... ...the sign in the Gents saying 'Wet Paint' is a statement and not an instruction... Now, let's have a cheer for Roger Whittaker!"

Looking to form a heavy metal band? Not sure of a name? Just listen to Radio 4's Farming Today! I bagsy 'Pig Unit' and 'BSE Explosion', coming to an edition of NME near you...

I have a reputation for breaking things, but the power to make railways disappear just by hovering my mouse cursor over them is a new power that I'm not sure I deserve. 😂

She's kicked the Bouquet. 😔

Otherwise known as me after a cooked breakfast...

I have no argument with this. Maybe growing up within easy (and frequently-utilised) reach of Stevenage has some bearing on this, but I do love me a New Town. People sneer at them now, but so readily forget the unbearable Dickensian conditions they replaced in the lives of their early inhabitants.

SPREAD CREAM NOT CHEESE DISEASE!

Coo. 21:00 finish at work, time for a pint then down to Birmingham International for the 22:42 @caledoniansleeper.bsky.social to Fort William. Breakfast passing Corrour and, finally, sat on Mallaig harbourside by lunchtime. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🐟 🍟 🥃 Yup, I like the sound of that. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Really, really not feeling life tonight. 😐 Time for some good '90s playlist and, hopefully, a decent sleep. 🎶 But we're traaaash, you and me We're the litter on the breeze We're the lovers on the streets Just traaaaash, me and you It's in everything we do It's in everything we do 🎵 Have a train.

The bees have discovered Brutalism

Happy birthday to my favourite method of transport, the means of earning my salary and my unwavering lifelong passion. Have a train.

This is the sort of 'Breaking News' I can thoroughly get on board with. 😀

Fucks hake.

🎶 When your eel gets all wack On a Thames full of gak That’s a moray 🎶

Back in the UK, and I felt it'd be unseemly not to partake of @lner.co.uk's new menu. Take it from me - the steak bavette is *gorgeous*. 😀 If you get a chance to enjoy 'steaks on a train', do!

Back in the UK, and I felt it'd be unseemly not to partake of @lner.co.uk's new menu. Take it from me - the steak bavette is *gorgeous*. 😀 If you get a chance to enjoy 'steaks on a train', do!

Amersfoort, and look what's out to play! The Mat' 64 'Apekops' were withdrawn by 2016, but Arriva have hired this 1974-vintage example to run a couple of morning peak services to Barneveld and back. I loved these units as a kid - I'm ridiculously chuffed to be on one again!

I'm sure I've been to places that are bleaker and more windswept than Eemshaven, but I have to admit I'm struggling to call them to mind. This place feels like the end of the universe. I thought I'd have company over here from amongst those who disembarked the Borkum boat with me, but clearly not.

One thing they seem particularly good at on the Continent is boat trains. Having left Leipzig at 05:xx, this IC finally arrives at Emden Aussenhafen - gateway to the Frisian islands. Semaphore signalling, too. 😎 The ease of getting from train to boat is clear - nice, as it's pissing down.

Guten morgen aus Hamburg! Having breakfasted to a soundtrack that included more than one Christmas song, it's forward march aboard this gorgeous ICE 1 as far as Bremen. I'm off to find some boats, amd maybe a bit of narrow gauge... 🤘 I've even bagged myself a compartment. 😎

Today, from the NightJet to DB and the train up to Westerland. Funky dual-liveried 1970s-vintage Class 218 'Rabbit' locomotive for haulage. 🤘 It gets windy here, and today is no exception. They make a bit of a thing of it. 😂

Alas, it's time to - quite literally - say 'Goodnight Vienna' and work on returning home. There's a Heathrow flight at 20:20... ...which I'm not getting. 😁 Instead, I'm watching a few comings and goings at Hbf., including the Italian NightJet, before leaping aboard my own...

What to do with a weekend in Vienna? Attend one of the world-class concerts? Maybe enjoy the beautiful Baroque architecture? Or watch a giant game of It's A Knockout featuring trams? Yes, yes. I'll do that. 😁

International adventuring continues...

Enjoying a little international adventure. 😁

Wishing the very best of luck to all those collecting their results this #ALevelResultsDay. If you get the grades you wanted, congratulations! If you don't, here's a long load of general waffle about what I did after mine, if only to show you the direction life can take... 🧵

Nice day. ❤️

Spot the odd one out... 🤔 #birds 🪶

Workington still has a perfectly decent sign for a branch of FADS. The St Neots branch closed pre-millennium. Goodness' knows when the rest went. Quite the survivor.

At last, back on earlies again. For weirdos like me who aren't much good at sleep, these are by far and away the best shifts to do. Get up, get in, get done, enjoy the rest of the day. Happy Thursday, folks. Have a train.

Scotrail shenanigans.

Followers fron the other place may be aware of my occasional penchant for measuring the ride quality of a section of track by observing the impact upon a glass of red wine. Tonight, I present the effect of twenty seconds in the Northallerton area upon a glass of LNER's Tempranillo.

Today hasn't been the best of days, so tomorrow calls for an adventure. No real plans, no real aims, just with the intention of maybe seeking out: - Trains - Seaside - Good pints - Good food We shall see where the rails take me... For now, have a train.

Real pity that ZSL didn’t consult a railway historian before installing this sign. Some may says it’s an otter disgrace

Happy 'Shortest Social Shift Ever At ATW' day to all those who celebrate. Not quite feeling it tonight, so time to raise a pint of 'Old Rosie'. You can tell I spent my student days in Somerset...

Sunday Roast day in the Control.

All aboard TfW's Premier Service! TfW launched their new dining menu last week so, today, a jaunt to Hereford to try it out. There's two options - a 'full' menu, plus a lighter selection for non-believers. SPOLIER: This is, hands down, the best train meal I've ever had...

For the third time in a week, I'm back in Manchester. This time to play the TfW Marches lottery and (hopefully!) try the new Premier Service menu! A positive start, in that I've not been bowled out by a 197/150/153. 67029 is very dud, though. Now to see what menu I'm offered...

When seagulls start giving you the look that you're used to getting from people...

Here are the US reciprocal tariffs against all the territories mentioned in Enya’s Orinoco Flow

"And my name? Oh yes, it's T. G. Jones"

Coo, I hadn't realised we'd launched a milk-free milk range. 😁

Swipe right on Timber.

BA's ECS moves have been good fun to observe today.

I HAVE NOT THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TORCH FOR NEARLY FORTY YEARS

New stations are invariably grey so even the red brick lifts here are a treat, albeit with all the grace of prison watchtowers. At the other end of the scale, look at St Erth. A gorgeous little station but a great lumpen bridge. I know *why* we need these bridges, but do they have to be so ugly?

The Control's recently-discovered delight in the railway antics of Flagstaff, Arizona continues unabated. We've started including odd details (max. container count etc.) at handover. 😂 Today, a failure! Two crossings blocked and a 45mile diversion for road traffic. Not a fun day for BNSF.

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