"On my trolley tonight I have sandwiches, crisps, sweets and fizzy pop!" Didn't realise I'd stumbled into a children's party. Half expecting to be press-ganged into wearing a party hat (young me didn't do hats) and 'joining in' (didn't like doing that, either). Have a train.

I couldn't give a flying proverbial about colours and flag references and whatnot, it's just that it looks less like a train livery and more like the tracksuit Keith Allen wore in the 'Vindaloo' video. There's no flair or panache to this at all. 4/10. Could do better.

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

Happy Bernard Black Friday to all who celebrate.

Speaking as a child of the East, when in Norwich, one must pay due respect to the oracle...

Me flirting:

"Describe yourself in five words."

Predictions for next year: - Irn-Bru sales will spike - Everyone will be very proud of their suddenly-discovered Great-Great Grandad from Forres - Rikki Fulton will make a miraculous comeback - Window displays of Gary: Tank Commander DVDs will abound in Tonbridge HMV Mark my words.

🎵 He was educated the expensive way, He knows his... 🎶

They do realise that Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal' was meant to be satirical, yes?

Every now and then, I wish I didn't like trains so much. What. A. Shift. 😫 That wish never lasts long, mind... Have a train.

Yes, I can be a pernickety bugger, but I don't think I'm being unreasonable in thinking that whether one of its regions does or does not still have sections of line controlled by semaphore signalling is the sort of thing that Network Rail probably *should* know?

In a similar vein, the mid-'80s BBC Video ident which sent toddler me screaming from the room. youtu.be/fq4ftiByb6M?...

Meanwhile, in local Faceache groups...

I think quite a few women have pulled off Bond.

Seems legit.

"Your best route from Leicester to Nottingham is via Dundee, Addis Ababa and Sark. I can't help you with that. A Rail Replacement duck is in operation, and acts as a powerful reminder that, sometimes, when life throws you onions, you just have to fall over."

"On behalf of the committee... ...the sign in the Gents saying 'Wet Paint' is a statement and not an instruction... Now, let's have a cheer for Roger Whittaker!"

Looking to form a heavy metal band? Not sure of a name? Just listen to Radio 4's Farming Today! I bagsy 'Pig Unit' and 'BSE Explosion', coming to an edition of NME near you...

I have a reputation for breaking things, but the power to make railways disappear just by hovering my mouse cursor over them is a new power that I'm not sure I deserve. 😂

She's kicked the Bouquet. 😔

Otherwise known as me after a cooked breakfast...

I have no argument with this. Maybe growing up within easy (and frequently-utilised) reach of Stevenage has some bearing on this, but I do love me a New Town. People sneer at them now, but so readily forget the unbearable Dickensian conditions they replaced in the lives of their early inhabitants.

SPREAD CREAM NOT CHEESE DISEASE!

Coo. 21:00 finish at work, time for a pint then down to Birmingham International for the 22:42 @caledoniansleeper.bsky.social to Fort William. Breakfast passing Corrour and, finally, sat on Mallaig harbourside by lunchtime. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🐟 🍟 🥃 Yup, I like the sound of that. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Really, really not feeling life tonight. 😐 Time for some good '90s playlist and, hopefully, a decent sleep. 🎶 But we're traaaash, you and me We're the litter on the breeze We're the lovers on the streets Just traaaaash, me and you It's in everything we do It's in everything we do 🎵 Have a train.

The bees have discovered Brutalism

Happy birthday to my favourite method of transport, the means of earning my salary and my unwavering lifelong passion. Have a train.

This is the sort of 'Breaking News' I can thoroughly get on board with. 😀

Fucks hake.

🎶 When your eel gets all wack On a Thames full of gak That’s a moray 🎶

Back in the UK, and I felt it'd be unseemly not to partake of @lner.co.uk's new menu. Take it from me - the steak bavette is *gorgeous*. 😀 If you get a chance to enjoy 'steaks on a train', do!

Back in the UK, and I felt it'd be unseemly not to partake of @lner.co.uk's new menu. Take it from me - the steak bavette is *gorgeous*. 😀 If you get a chance to enjoy 'steaks on a train', do!

Amersfoort, and look what's out to play! The Mat' 64 'Apekops' were withdrawn by 2016, but Arriva have hired this 1974-vintage example to run a couple of morning peak services to Barneveld and back. I loved these units as a kid - I'm ridiculously chuffed to be on one again!

I'm sure I've been to places that are bleaker and more windswept than Eemshaven, but I have to admit I'm struggling to call them to mind. This place feels like the end of the universe. I thought I'd have company over here from amongst those who disembarked the Borkum boat with me, but clearly not.

One thing they seem particularly good at on the Continent is boat trains. Having left Leipzig at 05:xx, this IC finally arrives at Emden Aussenhafen - gateway to the Frisian islands. Semaphore signalling, too. 😎 The ease of getting from train to boat is clear - nice, as it's pissing down.

Guten morgen aus Hamburg! Having breakfasted to a soundtrack that included more than one Christmas song, it's forward march aboard this gorgeous ICE 1 as far as Bremen. I'm off to find some boats, amd maybe a bit of narrow gauge... 🤘 I've even bagged myself a compartment. 😎

Today, from the NightJet to DB and the train up to Westerland. Funky dual-liveried 1970s-vintage Class 218 'Rabbit' locomotive for haulage. 🤘 It gets windy here, and today is no exception. They make a bit of a thing of it. 😂

Alas, it's time to - quite literally - say 'Goodnight Vienna' and work on returning home. There's a Heathrow flight at 20:20... ...which I'm not getting. 😁 Instead, I'm watching a few comings and goings at Hbf., including the Italian NightJet, before leaping aboard my own...

What to do with a weekend in Vienna? Attend one of the world-class concerts? Maybe enjoy the beautiful Baroque architecture? Or watch a giant game of It's A Knockout featuring trams? Yes, yes. I'll do that. 😁

International adventuring continues...

Enjoying a little international adventure. 😁

Wishing the very best of luck to all those collecting their results this #ALevelResultsDay. If you get the grades you wanted, congratulations! If you don't, here's a long load of general waffle about what I did after mine, if only to show you the direction life can take... 🧵

Nice day. ❤️

Spot the odd one out... 🤔 #birds 🪶

Workington still has a perfectly decent sign for a branch of FADS. The St Neots branch closed pre-millennium. Goodness' knows when the rest went. Quite the survivor.

At last, back on earlies again. For weirdos like me who aren't much good at sleep, these are by far and away the best shifts to do. Get up, get in, get done, enjoy the rest of the day. Happy Thursday, folks. Have a train.

Scotrail shenanigans.

Followers fron the other place may be aware of my occasional penchant for measuring the ride quality of a section of track by observing the impact upon a glass of red wine. Tonight, I present the effect of twenty seconds in the Northallerton area upon a glass of LNER's Tempranillo.

Today hasn't been the best of days, so tomorrow calls for an adventure. No real plans, no real aims, just with the intention of maybe seeking out: - Trains - Seaside - Good pints - Good food We shall see where the rails take me... For now, have a train.