When my son was born he had a shock of dark hair We called him 'bog brush' His son have lovely curls, I cruelly call it 'Comedy hair', They will end up like me, And all the family, When I ask the Barber to cut my grey hair, He says 'which one?'

Surely Strumphosen has found somewhere needing funds to award him a doctorate, Or been elected an erroneous professor of peace.

There is a law (UK) that says you have to tell others before something happens. Well Im having a cheese and coleslaw sandwich for lunch, so now you know. It went off on Christmas Eve. It's from Boots, so may include active ingredients.

Don't ask me I don't care any more A dystopian novel, Radio three, and a bottle of gin Wil do for now, Don't ask me Take away this bright low winter sun, close the blind It hurts my sticky tired eyes Don't ask me It's all done Don't ask me Or forget the bottle of gin I don't care any more

My morning coffee is a black Mexicano. The staff laugh and understand.

I recommend reading Betjemann's Christmas poem. I can't post it here because of copyright, but it's easy to find. Spread kindness, Happy Christmas.

Spread kindness, Happy Christmas xx

👇👇👇👇

A great singer and wordsmith. RIP Chris 🌹 ‘Chris Rea: The car enthusiast whose love of driving inspired his songs’

'Everybody's waiting for the man with the sack'. You didn't read it here first!

Stiffled by Christmas, Trees stressed And trees ablaze, Cafes full of shoppers Laughing At their once a year jokes, Catching up? I'm letting go, Christmas belongs to others now, With cardboard bags and strings Saving the planet A season at a time,

Chris Rea died, after I criticised his driving apologies all round.

Oh my god, the canal water has just disappeared into the earth below www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Share my sentiments

From Lichfield past Shenstone, And on to Sutton Coldfield, This winter; family farms are growing rectangular fields of wet grass, Too soft to take a tractor, The pools of mud show intractable brown grooves,

Today's poem has been Retracted, Run out of black highlighter, There was an emoji 🕶here.

It's not too late yet to buy a Christmas gift for the world's greatest president. Amazon must be able to supply a sticker kit to rename the world's biggest aircraft carrier!

Today's Coffee Spitter ================

Auditors and new officials have been turning over stones at the body in charge of Teesworks. Turns out the Tees Valley Combined Authority has been lending hundreds of millions of £ to connected orgs, without loan agreements, and those orgs are now struggling to repay as.ft.com/r/ac457745-4...

What I know about women: This page is unintentionally blank.

If you don't wear it, it won't get wet. The Lake District, Wales, Anywhere out West. Rain is always relevant to the visitor, looking at a 'phone, Trying to read the sky, like a local, The weather 'rain possible' Holiday weather, anything is 'possible', But rain is guaranteed, part of the deal.

Eclipse of the sun That day, in 1999 Both outside Gathered With others, looking through special smoked glasses Or at reflected images, Together waiting for one thing, the eclipse of the sun.

It is wet out West, Near Wales clouds accumulate, Train is in rain now. #haiku

Tunnel Cottages Almost secure From the moorland weather, Wind, rain, smoke, roak. Six stone cottages concealed between the murk Esk river, railway sidings, And the school path. Facilities?,

1960s department store. Kept in order by a self-important, Military Head of menswear, in command in this small town: "Keep moving, but approach the customer". Hippy response: stand static by the models- move to surprise. "Have you thought of this sir",its just like all the others.

A box of herbs at Alvechurch station (code ALV) . Parsley, sage, I smelled rosemary, and probably thyme , then the train arriving to take me home to Birmingham UK

Somersby I cycled lanes in rural Lincolnshire, Saw a bank of primroses, In the spring sun, And further on, my wheels still spinning, quietly, some bluebells, just begun. On to Somersby, where Tennyson found his 'Brook' I crossed the bridge over its babbles,

I saw a capybara in France, Visiting friends, It wasn't keen on seeing me, And took a silent twist in the water, then, smoothly glided away, unperturbed. We walked across a square to a French market for fresh bread And a coffee.

The Brindleyplace bells started ringing, so I looked at the top of my magazine to see which hour it was.......turns out it only does that on Kindle. I blame my meds. Hoping that the Christmas disruption is already over isn't going to work either.

Rainbow Eucalyptus (Eucalyptus deglupta) 🌳 It has smooth, orange-tinted bark that sheds in strips, revealing streaks of pale green, red, orange, grey, and purplish brown

Gathered together, Tree and food, smiles to camera. Family Christmas! #haiku

If there’s anyone you think would enjoy my posts to cheer them up in these intense times, and who I should therefore, introduce myself to, here’s my little hello: count on me for silly, odd, beautiful, familiar, detailed, joyous, surprising, tiny, prose-poetry sprinkles of everyday magic 😀✨👋🏻

I should have known It was too much for you, Madron's Well, with flickering Fading cloth of votives The impossible crawl through Men-an-Tol, Gurnards Head, mud and worrying buses, Zennor and the long walk home. Leaving you tired in mind and location. Lizard and Land's End, always too far.,

I do like strong cheese, Now my fridge is maturing, With rich blue Stilton. #haiku

If I sit here, reading someone's poem, from a pamphlet, I'm immediately intelligent, a force to be reckoned with. If I write a poem of my own, on the 'phone, I'm obviously ignorant, however I place an apostrophe.

Forever Rummaging for a book, Brought back with a snap, A buried Christmas card. 'Hope we can spend more time together', I read, Well, no, not the forever, That we'd planned. Do I know, who it was That wrote that?

Trouble in the world, A leader that Trumps the lot, All wars have ended? #haiku

Bar Don't talk, Or pass the time of day Transactions only Dont Start a queue This is not a social service Count your words Move on, You have paid now Time for someone else Card ready, The restaurant has to be served, Yes everyone is busy, Move on,

The green leaves have gone, Dried out, changed, and expired, Soon to be my turn. #haiku

Squirrels Yes, my tail is different, Lined out in white, But I'm a squirrel just like you, Mind the road Its dangerous to squirrels, You're just like me Grey , just like me, So, the light parts. But we are the same I'm a squirrel, just like you. The road is dangerous,

Don't tell her I'm the one who leaves spring flowers on her doorstep , In the hope she will think of me, As the sun rises, my heart sinks, To know it will never be, Don't tell her, Don't tell her, If she knew, It might be worse for me, Please, Don't tell her.

Threads twined across my nose The pleasure of plucking, Repeating.

I suppose rump has won the ashes, Smithy is one if his big mates, a good chap who will be pardoned, after all, he has read a lot of his poems.

Look at her, Head above the crowd, Always looking down, Look at her, Look at her, Her well defended form, Never to be delivered lightly To a boy like you, Just look at her!

What your cat wants for Christmas is just the crapping paper. #badjokefriday

So Fifa are taking the pee out of chump, and he doesn't get the joke.

Just one look, told me, that it was never going to be, She with her cascading dark hair And woman's calculating eyes I with excited lips, And rough, curious, clumsy hands I would never be enough for her future

Certain numbers accompany us through our lives, connected to our memories of people and places, of significant events. What numbers remain with you decades later? And why? This poem is taken from Whatever You Do, Just Don't (HappenStance Press, 2023), my second full collection...

If we don't use our small poetry presses, we'll lose them. This is why I refuse to flinch or shy from asking you to purchase a copy of Whatever You Do, Just Don't, my second full collection. Here's a sample poem from the book. Just drop me a DM and I'll sort out a signed copy for you...