It's not passing like it usually does, it's intensifying. And, I know I am going to crash hard after the show on Thursday like I always do after a big performance. I am dreading it.

Feeling a really intense sorrow right now. I feel like I have a lot of casual friends but no one I can really hang out with on a regular, reliable basis. I see other people around me who have this, and not having it myself feels really bad right now. This isn't really anything new and it will pass.

I have the sense lately that I'm drifting away and becoming disconnected from some of the people I until recently would've considered my closest friends. I want to reach out and ask for reassurance, but am acutely aware that the constant need for assurance is one of my most alienating qualities.

An old friend from the poetry scene turned me onto this fantastically cool multimedia art project he contributed to: telephonegame.art/game

Line I want to work into a poem: "I'm sorry if I'm coming across like an asshole. I'm actually a really nice guy, but you are unattractive and boring."

Look I'm not gonna go into the details, but really IDing with the protagonist of Love in the Time of Cholera right now. It's a vibe.

Okay. Looking over all my poetry-- everything I've written over the last ~30 years... I've got about 40 pieces I'm still proud of, would still perform. I think that's a pretty good body of work. I can live with that. And now it's time to get to work on new material, too.

Last January I posted my 5 favorite books I read in 2024-- forgot to do that early in the month this year, but here it is now, in the order I read them:

I've been working on recording vocals for this song for over a year now... and I'm going to finish the damn thing, but I can't help feeling like it's a waste of time, like I'm not a good enough vocalist to even make this work, so like what's even the point?

Join us Thursday March 26th at C&P Coffee in West Seattle for our first showcase featuring furry and therian poetry and music by Shimi, Moon Rabbit, Listless Anarchy, Channel Dark, Fritz Wolf and Morris Stegosaurus. See following posts for artist profiles. No entry fee, donations encouraged.

I wrote my last-- or I guess I should say, most recent-- good poem a decade ago. I'm working on somethin new right now for a show in March, but it is coming out stiff and clumsy. I am trying to work with it, sort of make the piece about that. But it is slow going.

I didn't like the book White Noise very much, but things like this make me think my distaste comes from a sense that it was a little too real.

I have everything I wanted when I was younger. I wish I had wanted more.

There's nothing I see at work (I am seeing it right now) that I find more upsetting than a parent being mean to an innocent and well-behaved child.

My favorite Christmas song: youtu.be/BxLHRVwDuZg?...

The worst part of having a good memory is realizing years later all the times you were an asshole without noticing, in the moment.

It's not that I'm suicidal-- far from it! I just think it would be nice to just... *not be*, for a while. Like maybe 6 months to a couple years.

I think I've shared this a bunch of times in a bunch of different places, but still, my single favorite piece of music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3Ff...

failure to communicate even with people with whom I used to be able to communicate well, lately; self-enforced isolation and ostensibly deliberate acts of conscious alienation; thrashing like a drowning man in the sea of my own abrasive behavior

Been listening lately to Shearwater's cover of Bowie's Berlin Trilogy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va72...

This weekend I Was Social for the first time since the trip, and it mostly didn't hit right. Unsure if the solution is to push for more engagement or withdraw further. Leaning toward the latter. When I focus my attention on just being with Oscar and doing our own thing, everything is great lately.

Absolutely devastated. That customer dog Rocky, who I absolutely adored, had talked to the owner about walking sometime, but never actually got around to doing, got hit by a car while we were in Mexico. He was only a year and a half, incredibly sweet, playful, and affectionate.

Was thinking in the shower just now about these two Mormon missionaries who stopped by the other day, and it kind of hit me that Pascal's Wager is basically indistinguishable in how it functions, as a mental trap, from Roko's Basilisk.

I was fighting fascism with the power of love and kindness and just really getting my ass handed to me. proteanmag.com/2025/11/01/w...

Spending a week in Mexico with Oscar was great, but also strangely isolating, in that not speaking the language very well made me feel sort "out of phase" with the rest of society, like in my world Oscar and I were the only people who fully existed.

Feeling a little down right now about what an underachiever I've always been. Started trying to treat my ADHD--I thought that might help me get the motivation to do something of value with my life. It hasn't worked, at least not yet, & I'm starting to think it's a fundamental flaw in my psyche.

@bluejo.bsky.social Hello there! Just finished reading the Thessaly trilogy, enjoyed it, and wanted to ask you something about it. I've heard that some writers plan every story beat out meticulously in advance, others "discover" where the story wants to go as they write it.

Gonna start using the account. Am unfollowing a few people from my other account and following them over here instead. This is my "after dawn" account, I guess.