I hated working retail too but I was always made to be nice now they’re free to glare and slam things around I bet that’s liberating

LISTEN UP BITCHES MY CAT IS FIP FREE AND I JUST BAKED TWO PERFECT LOAVES OF SOURDOUGH I AM ON TOP OF THE WORLD

Semi regular reminder to take your bc/get a vasectomy cuz those cute lil babies become horrific teenaged terrorists

MY KID IS FUCKING DIABOLICAL MY MOM HAD IT SO EASY SHE HAD NO ROOM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING 😫😫😫😫😫

Have you guys seen The Perfect Neighbor? Holy shit

Then: hey did you get my email Me: not sure honestly Them: what do you mean Me:

I’ve noticed that everybody on TikTok with a pro Chump shit take has big red Xs in their user name and today I learned that the Xs are to show that they’re Gen X 🫣🥴

Guy I can’t stand at work tried to guess my age and guessed a range of 5-10 years YOUNGER THAN I AM MAYBE I HAVE MISJUDGED HIM

Don’t care how well you take care of yourself you don’t have the same cognitive function at 70 that you did at 30. 70+ year olds continuing to work out of ego are making life difficult for everyone around them.

Can’t force a cat to take a pill but put that pill on a plate and bend down for one second to pick up something you dropped and they’ll fight over who gets to eat the pill

I have to watch what I say at work because blue collar usually means different politics than mine but my BOSS JUST SNEAKED IN A CHUMP DISS AND I AM REEVALUATING EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID ABOUT THIS PLACE

If you’re going to walk or run in the road in the dark wearing all black, you are playing with your life

Why do you as an adult have the sounds on for typing on your phone

Last week my job got me a new computer and today I come in and they’ve bought me a huge fancy new chair. Am I about to be laid off because expenses are too high 😭

In a cameras-on conference call where one person is reading documents aloud and that person struggles with reading

I’ve never been in the military but I do know this: When we had a civilian handling our bathroom maintenance at my job, we had stocked supplies & fancy niceties. Now we have a retired army guy & you’re lucky if you have TP in every stall. The government shouldn’t be in our restrooms lmaoooooo

The volume of people walking around deep in religious psychosis is terrifying

I LOVE THIS ALBUM

Check out my cool find during the anonymous survey portion of my job’s mandatory anti harassment training

Anybody staying up tonight to listen to the showgirl? My lame old self took tomorrow off to recover. Might even make myself a pumpkin spice drink for the culture

Dude cut me off in traffic almost running me off the road but happened to be going to the exact same dr’s office as me & jumps out of his car & runs into the waiting room just for me to come sit right beside him. Then we left at the same time & I pulled up next to him at the traffic light. Lol MFr

Please shower every day and wear deodorant if you have to be around other people as part of your job. You might think you don’t stink, but you do.

Telling your kids we have to euthanize their pet is a top two worst experience ever and it’s not two

Made banana bread with sourdough starter and it just came out of the oven I’m gonna eat the whole thing stress eating for halftime

My daughter is wearing garnet and gold to her homecoming dance and this fuckass boy who I hate brought her flowers in Georgia bulldawg colors and is dressed in Georgia bulldawg colors I fucking hate him THIS IS TALLAHASSEE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT COLOR GARNET IS I HATE YOU YOU BITCH

On days like today (homecoming dance at my kids’ school) I am astounded by how two people who grew up in the same house with the same rules can be so extremely different. One is a type A who planned every detail to the minute and the other hasn’t really made plans at all. Both are annoying tbh

I've mostly been offline the last few days and I feel like I've missed both everything and nothing

I took Tylenol all throughout a high risk twin pregnancy and neither of my kids have autism. They’re assholes tho does count

If the Rapture happens tomorrow it means that Jesus came back before the U did

In preparation for the Trumpification of my favorite app TikTok I downloaded Skylight which is a Bluesky short video app like TT. Very first one I see the top comment is a woman hater - I thought I was on Twitter for a second. Where can I go where there are no loud incels please

Miami playing Florida is always good in that one of them will lose but there is a better idea

TikTok is already a mess and the Trump admin hasn’t even taken over yet. I commented on a TikTok video of a dude who was talking about the libs being pedophiles so I just posted his mugshot from when he was first arrested for r@ping and impregnating a 13 year old and *I* got a violation 😭😭

Who tf thought up skycast

So after spending the last couple of days learning about groypers & trans maxing @ all that stuff I guess my next chapter is whatever is going with Candace Owens right now?? You guys following this at any level? Is she doing a 180? She seems to be turning against the conservative establishment??

Just completed a 300 day streak on Duolingo. I can confidently say Mr Perez wants two apples lmfaooooo

More like DJ ThrowsTheWrongWay

Literally all right wingers, and some white liberals right now:

And every “liberal” who raged at others for being unbothered by CK’s demise but they never put that kind of passion into anything that helps people

If you have a screenshot of a US politician or leader blaming the left, or declaring some war, or anything before we knew who the shooter was, please post in the comments. We will need to keep these

The assassination of Charlie Kirk makes we worry we can no longer have peaceful discussions of whether gays should be stoned to death or civil and collegial debates about whether black people are inherently inferior. Our culture will suffer. New York Times tomorrow

I was kinda hoping his name would be Mario

Fwiw I now understand more clearly than ever before why people say never trust a white liberal

You ever try to meal plan for the weekend when you have one kid that won’t eat meat or eggs and the other one won’t eat vegetables? I need drugs.

there is nothing more american than news of a political shooting being interrupted by news of a school shooting

So many people on Facebook pouring out sympathy over this dude but never shared what they liked about him

Charlie Kirk said the Epstein files should be released, prior to his assassination, which made a lot of MAGA and Trump’s circle angry. "The DOJ should immediately move to unseal all the Epstein...Every file should be released to the public."

Everyone has a 9/11 story but mine is that I was in college and didn’t have class until 3:30 so I slept until noon and woke up to all three channels I could get with my rabbit ears showing a smokey video game background and I thought I had been roofied

The temperature was in the upper 60s this morning so I broke out the wool and turned on the seat heater 🥰