guess who poured seltzer on his protein powder because he wasn't fully awake and witnessed a spill that will leave a smell for an entire week

new record, 8 eggs rolled into one tamagoyaki without the omelette discoloring at all literally 8 dollars worth of omelette cooked perfectly and rolled up tight, wider than my fist i feel vaguely sick after eating it but that's just weakness leaving the body

making a dense vegetable soup and my cats are all approaching me and expressing deep offense at the celery and onion juices on me and it's like damn

my tamagoyaki pan and my le creusset dutch oven are the foundational pillars of my soul

Hm. I think too many people make it deep into adulthood without feeling their blood in their ears. Like, having a confrontation that is clearly escalating, and learning how to defuse it - but also, how to not dwell on the moment for weeks afterward.

@haruspex.bsky.social @rahaeli.bsky.social closure for those I roped in to my boring egg misfortune: got new eggs(12 dollars for 18 my fucking life in shambles) from a different store and they're fine but I spent 10 minutes sniffing them protein secured, trust damaged forever

@rahaeli.bsky.social need help with something went to make breakfast and cracked an egg, got hit with a STRONG smell of wet dog. two more eggs, same thing. been eating hundreds of eggs a year for 20+ years, this is brand new che cosa facendo

anyone else hear that chittering the weaving never stops

@nessguerrero.bsky.social you should get a bunch of those telepresence robots from the tiktoks so your friends can bother your cat while you're out and about

it's neat how we have Super Saiyan Andrew Wakefield running our country's health services now very exciting times

@nessguerrero.bsky.social www.youtube.com/shorts/NP1Bg... came across this and absolutely could not stop thinking of you you know why

...why did i of all people get an insider D23 e-vite like, not just the standard one, i got one of the ones for like... influencers and shit laughing my ass off if this is the final form of so many online people being named Hazel

If every single video game service based outside the US(and also Games Workshop because let's be real) shut off US and VPN-tied access and stopped shipping product, the entire disinterested male doompiller sphere would burst open into a seething rage of doing anything to get Treats back

nintendo singlehandedly has the power to save american democracy right now it's a shame japan's corporate structure is still mostly run by hirohito apologists

ok so I made RBnR again last night, just as incredible as always i am a god of foodstuff combination and dare i say it, a genius, but riddle me this how does my entire left arm smell strongly of garlic, as if the entire appendage was used to brace the garlic for its ascension to mincehood

@nessguerrero.bsky.social listen I know you don't work there anymore but the second episode with Gina and you shrieking with laughter EVERY SINGLE TIME she splattered herself with something horrid from a can is how i know you are the best friend a person could have

family recipe red beans and rice tonight came out immaculate, like it usually does, but it's the first time I've had the motivation to do it as proper as this time in years so it was a bit of a "what if I forgot" situation thankfully this is in my blood i guess

fried zucchini failed pretty miserably so it was protein smoothie(lowfat vanilla greek yogurt, handful of frozen strawberries, sour cherry preserve, 2% lactose free milk) and toasted sourdough for dinner

tried doing a crispy quesadilla with an omelette inside of it with salsa for dipping and realized i'd just made "much more annoying to cook and eat" Migas not every idea can be a good one

fuck it crispy cheese & onion quesadillas with jarred salsa at 11:14 PM

made the wife french toast using our good sourdough with some vanilla greek yogurt and some sour cherry preserves on top and brought it to her in bed days when I have energy are neat

I accidentally used my flavocol clarified butter instead of my normal clarified butter when making my omelette today and now let me just speak on this briefly popcorn butter flavor in an omelette, and on a sangy(since i do an omelette to 4 way fold into a sangy) is god tier eating

reached for the terlet papier and the spider sitting on the roll jumped on my hand and climbed up my arm and is now still on my shoulder half an hour later bro seen what he almost got used for and is shook

god damn i love bell peppers

...rolled my omelette too tight and it popped sending a gush of scalding hot cheese and veg into my face i've become a fucking seinfeld bit

I grow weary of being the only one, but that should not mean there should be two. My family, as ever, remains fucking delusional.

my wife walked in on me in the middle of my Dark Work(peeling a lime like an orange and separating the segments and then eating them like mandarin orange segments each one chased by a tiny shot of worcestershire)

tempted to go buy 30000000000 berry cherry limeade buzzballz and see ya'll next fuckin year

wish there was a food that tasted the way laoganma chili crisp smells laoganma chili crisp tastes incredible and i love it but its smell is something else entirely

i make too good of food to be as isolated from society as i am

2lb chicken breast half a large red onion 2 tbsp adobo 4 cloves minced garlic 2 tsp cumin 1 tbsp chili powder 1 tsp salt 2 tsp fresh black pepper 2 tbsp lime juice all sitting in the slow cooker house about to smell insufferably good for far longer than the food i put in there will last

Hm. My sticks went missing. Ah well, I gave the drum away years ago anyway.

I think someone put me in one of those "starter packs" because I've gotten like 50 followers almost overnight and that is more people than I should be exposed to

just fully forgot to pick up a wing and dipped my finger in dressing and then bit it neurodegenerative disease is pretty cool

does anyone know what the proper tip on a below-$100 tattoo ought to be like i'm tempted to tip 100% because i can but that also seems like mark behavior and this studio's doing good moneywise and i wouldn't mind a hamdurger on the way home is 50% proper i don't know the culture

dan bongino's name in the trending keeps making "I wanna be at the RNC" by Nick Lutsko blast in my head

the fresca shotgunners have once again struck

two appointments today, lodged a bit of lumber in my body in a place it shouldn't go before the first one, had to endure its presence the whole time, got back home, had to break out surgical tools and remove it, interrupted suture it, butterfly+strip it, then go to second appointment hoo ah

reminder, taking split pills with seltzer is not a great mouth experience neil cicierega is the only good mouth experience

went on a walk, saw 14 deer then nearly fell into the river when i noticed one of the deer was standing feet away from a black bear they walked off slowly in opposite directions

Registered average 800~900 steps worth of activity in my sleep, a rather large jump from the average of 300 two years ago(the last time I was tracking), this past month. Made sure the calibration was correct. I know I'm not sleepwalking, which means uhhh lmao

ohhh, the reason things feel extra shitty is because i apparently have the shingles, so that's neat i guess my thatching bill will go way down

you know what actually i think i'mma let the c-dawg take the dub today and put it off til tomorrow because i'm not getting an infusion with a fucking cluster headache in hundred degree goddamned weather the baleful star must be struck from the sky

a whole lot of already pissed-off E4s are about to get some even more incredible news lmao

dong zhuo behavior is intensifying, it's officially fat despot summer

...the fresca shotgunner has struck again what the fuck is going on in this fucking neighborhood

12 shots of water and a ritz cracker it's what's for breakfast

2 cans of beanie weenies and 4 shots of malibu it's what's for dinner

why don't you stop talking about ar-15s and start talking about arfid teens is this anything

haha planning a cancer treatment schedule around whether or not the treatment center will be swarming with nazis this is a neat system we've got here