stomach ache today. unpleasant

Thank you, Clouded Monk. I too, approve of it.

What is truly the point in memorializing? The past has no place in the future save for memories to not repeat cycles endlessly. Taking time out of a day to acknowledge the past is a bit much, isn't it? Simply commemorate with memory, mourn not the dead.

This is quite... confusing. I don't think it deserving of the term paradoxical, but there seems to be no answer in which games are achievable. Due to the lack of games in either option, the only one fit is the bacon one, yes?

Physical intimacy has never been a favored thing of mine, but if it makes you feel better, I don't see why not.

We ourselves give money value. In the Library, we have no such form of currency, rendering neither valuable. On a face value, however, there seems to be no reason to take less when presented with more, other than mere toils of pride and whatnot.

The Drifting Fox? Can't say I know too much about them, they were never in the facility nor came though the library. They sound very nice however, I like their title.

Hm. The strawpage is continuously dry. It feels more and more like I am being forgotten here, maybe as a symptom of forgetting myself. I, of course, do not care much for needed to be remembered, I shall fade away into the darkness as all things Loneliness just feels bleaker than I remember.

I pity the hateful. Anger, spite, and aggression seldom improve a situation, or make any involved ‘better’.

I’m not human enough to cry. I’m unsure truly if any of my friends can, but I know that no matter how strong the wish to express the crushing feelings, I can’t. And I’ve tried, very much so.

What is the definition of life? Asking about purpose seems redundant to end at such a bleak end, but what defines it?

It’s a Binahful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are once more blooming. On days like these, arbiters like me, are living still in hell.

Spring is finally starting to show. I find the idea of seasons to be quite simple minded, life is just one long season of change. Changes don’t stop just because they are in another season.

Roland came by this time. Instead of our typical tea and short conversation, we had a lengthy debate about despair. That crushing, abyssal despair that many sink and drown in. Rather, we exist within it's depths. Someone to share not pain, but weight. Surprisingly Powerful.

There is a form of very true beauty in life. I would not have it any other way.

When I am to die, somehow, I do not wish to go quietly. Some grand event so visceral and raw it will destroy something as equally beautiful. Something so primal, that maybe I am still human underneath it all.

The more I reflect, it becomes increasingly clear how spoiled the world is. Wrongdoing and corruption takes hold of everything, nothing is sacred, not even this terrible air. My friends are no exception, nor am I, but they aren't as bad as the world, most of the time, at least.

The world is, by nature, incapable of being cruel or kind. But the world, by humanity, is cruel. Life is about pain and overcoming. Alas, I am grateful to have my companions to make life a little less painful.

It is an awfully tiring day today. Which is strange, because it feels like nothing has happened at all. It feels like I’m merely stuck inbetween yesterday and just waiting for tomorrow. Time is the weirdest human invention.

You've got to be kidding me.

Every denizen of the city has at some point thought about killing a person, or committing a terrorist attack, as a shortcut to security. And we do. Because that's the easy way. We betray, lie, cheat and we forge our own path with the cheapest materials with the lack of power.

If any assistant librarians were to raise concerns, yes, the fox is in the Floor of Philosophy on purpose. If damage is caused I am liable. Yes, I did find them in the outskirts And no, they are not dangerous yet.

I am very fond of the nice orange dog cats, they make me smile. I do wish they made for better pets… maybe one day.

What is going on with these miners from Siberia? What do they have to do with the Library?

Been thinking recently about the state of the Head. A totalitarian leadership that... surprisingly manages to stand despite the people. The people hear are strong, it's a wonder they're too busy fighting each other to realize the city has been playing them the whole time.

Ah, refreshing Sometimes it is quite nice to... not give a shit. I disappeared and the world still turns, the tea is still warm... although it seems many missed me in my absence, hm?

Birdwatching in the outskirts has been a fun past time for me, tough there are rarely birds. Taking in the landscape, admiring all of the other forms of life and witnessing history all around me in a much neglected space. And of course, the occasional bird.

What’s with all these discussions of bloodfiends going on suddenly? Has something recently happened at large to them?

There’s HOW MANY feral hogs???

I’m back.

…interesting I must say

Big Bird..? What does this mean? I get it but also don't...

Why yes, Ozen is quite the character, I like the series too

Drinking tea. Thinking about tea. Tea is cool

They have not been proven guilty, so there is no reason to not treat them as innocent

Seeing people so shocked at shrimp having the ability to fry dishes is interesting, is that not a common sight in the city? Have they never heard of the large brand of Wellcheers?

My friend has told me he needs some “time and distance” But when I tried to help him in calculating velocity, he got mad It’s very confusing

very relatable feeling.

I have returned from a trip I took to the far reaches of the Outskirts. Posts shall resume.

Dear followers, remember to Gaslight, Gatekeep, and Girlboss today.

The nights in the library are always the most peaceful. The lights dim, it's quiet. I'm not sure if we truly need sleep but many of the Sephira do anyways. I like to take silent walks through the expansiveness of the Library during these times. It's serene. Roland joins me sometimes.

Big Bird made a vague reference to Project Moon on a tweet.

Fixers are such an interesting concept You make a bureaucracy out of killing people? Jobs born out of what the people want I guess.

Cinema is a very cool thing. You make something that can either be completely made up or ground in reality, like a good book. Except you add these giant moving pictures and moving musical pieces. And then you add things like cinematography and line delivery and it can all be so impactful.

Gebura is not nearly as much of a "mommy" as I. Her thighs are fake.

This little cat is adorable. Thank you very much. Binyah. Clever, too.

This game called Rain World is incredibly good. I am quite fond of the blue silly mouse.

Binah fact for the day. In Kabbalah, Binah (the concept) is meant to be motherly. Perhaps that is what my assistant was referring to by “mommy”

I apologize for the lack of posts as of late. I have been going on a “journey” of sorts. It has been complicated yet enjoyable. On the bright side, more philosophy.