down bad (alphabetizing magic cards)

"do you have a hammerhead shark tattoo because you're not quite a fish"

—you're so fuckin pretty —sheesh

down bad (googling bilmuri tickets)

tits look great rn who up tryna barf

21st century gorgon (i show you my tits and you throw up)

love to plan a cutie lunch date and then fuck it up because i have a meeting i forgot about

help there's been a murder in my dms

book title I Fell for a Facebook Poster and Other Faggy Misadventures

me: im gonna have chill i can be chill im chill also me: do you wanna hang out for a week straight

two trannies in an uber while "man i feel like a woman" blasts on the stereo

pigeon girl putting on music: "what's that volumes song that sucks"

i need to get pregnant

pov i sent you this photo do you barf y/n

sext: i'm an mla bitch

*looking at an assortment of signs i'm doing bad* i feel fine im sure i'm good

*pigeon girl laughing to herself* me: what her: your life

clocking in for another double at the simp factory

estrogen is good shit

ah yes the four fetishes head shoulders knees and toes knees and toes? knees and toes

she's a ten but she loves attack attack

bsky gordie howe hatrick: post a heater, catch a ban, smooch a cutie

i cannot be killed