Who would have guessed that Sherrill, a former prosecutor and ex-military, would govern as such?

Does @paulinavevo.bsky.social have a “Your fucking dick is $busted!” for us today?

Static fire! Static FLAME!!!

The only valuable contribution Roseanne Barr ever made was a commercial for the MTV Awards of some sort, where she said, “Find out who wins. Like you give a rat’s [BEEEEP]!” There is no online clip of this. That might be for the best because I still say this nonstop.

Reminder that Flo Rida lost a rap battle to Bo Dallas. (“Low” is still amazing, but I will now credit the entire song to T-Pain).

Translation: I was cool with it until it was the group that inexplicably made me their leader. I’m also still cool with it.

Montreal: You can have all the smoked meat in the city, literal and double entendre, if you don’t call too many men. Refs: Ha ha ha, fuck yes! /a minute later Montreal: Aw, Tabarnac!!!

Rebecca Black is so much more reliable than AI.

I got in trouble back in the fall for my Abolish ICE shirt working in a public school. Which I expected. I wanted to respond, “Tell the district that Trump and Linda Mac and the handful of white parents still won’t fuck them.” And as I’m exploring career options, that one is coming back up.

I mean, that shit tracks.

Once again, that Tottenham has not adopted “Here Come the Hotspurs (MUR-DA-RA!)” as its theme is cause for relegation in itself.

Text read by the guy from Cake.

That dude is totally bankrolled by the slush fund.

Primitive Radio Gods’ less popular follow-up.

Must be all that water he carries for a dead racist.

Really Kat, you need to sue for $1.776 billion. That sounds like a good solid round number that I picked off the top of my head.

Confirmed not a skeleton. They pull the hair up, not out.

If @ms.now is going to subject us to Sheldon Whitehouse, can they at least ask him about confirming election deniers?

Thomas Friedman’s address at my brother’s graduation was interrupted by a torrential downpour. Mother Nature was like, “Oh, FUCK THAT GUY!”

The realtor doing tours for my next door neighbor’s place keeps saying there are 7 units in the building, when there are 10 and I want to open my door and correct him.

The Minnesota Wild continue to not exist. Even God is slightly less fictional than the Minnesota Wild.

I have a 25-year running bit about refusing to believe the Minnesota Wild actually exist because of their longstanding irrelevance (and stupid-ass name, but mostly irrelevance), and this isn’t hurting me. But I would think Colorado should easily beat an AI-generated cartoon hockey team.

This scientific study courtesy of his sucking off 1970s men and 2026 teenagers for coke.

Joe Hendry doesn’t get enough credit for how melodically challenged his songs are.

How many 2026 Dem senators during WW2 wound have said, “We have a long-standing commitment to Germany having a qualitative military edge.” At least 2/3.

He is complaining about making kids less fuckable.

Would it go down on you in a theatre?

🎶Du. Du hast. Du hast mich.🎶

D Extensions Popular in LA.

Solidarity is not chaos.

“Has to.” Like they are being forced to be corrupt fascists. Own it, bitch.

I was about to say does Marquee have a contract that they can only show posts from the Nazi pedophile site and then I remembered who owns the Cubs and who owns Marquee and yes.

HEAD FOR THE MOUNTAINS OF BUSCH!!!

Opposing pitchers’ reactions to Mo Baller: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps6m...

Strumpet coin?

Woke 2 should indict Comey. Because he won’t see it coming. And because he’s a fascist collaborator.

Media use a word besides “rhetoric” challenge. Also, media define “rhetoric” challenge.

Thanks to never being on national TV, I forgot the Ducks had Trouba & Coach Q. In that case, go Oilers!!

Media use a word besides “rhetoric”challenge!

*seeing a drunk guy try to take a swing at me* My friends agree this is why I need the HOA to build me a swimming pool.

Fred Armisen dressed as Elton John and Sam the Eagle are both on MSNBC right now and I should definitely go to bed.

This guy doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. THIS is the kind of "advocacy speak" I see from the left. I'd like to see clowns like Beshear adopt this kind of language. Wanna talk like the people? Get on board!

“You voted for this,” should apply to Senate Dems for Schumer and House Dems for Jeffries, just as it does to Trump voters.

JD Vance would have renamed it that if some other buttmunch hadn’t already.

She saw an opening for childfree influencer.

When we are able to admit that sexual assault and abuse ARE THE NORM, we might be able to change that norm. As long we keep acting like it's some weird, inhuman aberration, we'll keep drowning in it. 3/3

Wait until Trump finds out the pope’s last name is Ligue.