Unfortunately there are albums I'm obligated to review as America's Only Poptimist (Albums Division), so here are Taylor, Bieber, Gaga, Bad Bunny, Lil Baby, BigXThaPlug, Drake, and Alex Warren. Well at least I have the Rosalía album to look forward to… oh no bradluen.substack.com/p/the-purge-...

Anyway if YOU feel like the algorithm has eroded your curiosity and you want to hear a bunch of varied and novel new music I strongly recommend taking part in THE WORLD CUP OF 2025 on @peoples-pop-polls.bsky.social

And my entire #TheTwen2ie5 list in one place, featuring jokes you've seen before: bradluen.substack.com/p/50-favorit...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 50. Gonora Sounds: "Go Bhora" Zimbabwe 2022 Indulgent pick to finish: a blind street guitarist and his percussion prodigy son cheer the local football team with irrepressible exuberance. Still don't know why "Walker Texas Ranger" comes up tho. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfzO...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 49. Taylor Swift: "Betty" I tried to keep the century’s greatest singer-songwriter* off my list until I asked why I should keep the century’s greatest singer-songwriter off my list *though wow is she better when she's not writing about herself www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TAP...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 48. Miya Folick: "Fist" USA 2025 I'm still a month away from the "yell-sing along and see how that makes me feel" stage of year-end listmaking, but songs that make me punch myself in the face and/or collapse in tears tend to rise quickly www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNqM...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 47. The Beths: "Expert in a Dying Field" New Zealand 2022 Tactical concession: "Silence Is Golden" is my fave (it's fast!) but let's try to get NZ on to the parade outside of duets with short (of stature or of temper) stars from other islands www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KAC...

Tsuru bringing the spirit of Creem to Girl Meets Rock!

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 46. Dlala Thukzin, Funky Qla, Zee Nxumalo: "Ama Gear" South Africa 2024 Thukzin's my man; I have this on a par with "iPlan" but this one has a vote already (plus it gets Zee N. onto my list.) Last year's great album Finally Famous Too omits it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObhU...

(content warning: American politics) this is clever and important and you should read it carefully if, unfortunately, you argue about US politics on the Internet however:

Why I am not a (vulgar) Bayesian

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 45. Bree Runway & Baby Tate: "Damn Daniel" UK/USA 2020 Keisha might say this is the Anglosphere's best example of cross-class feminist solidarity of its time. Bree and Baby Tate might respond "say that shit, better watch your back." www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGBM...

Probably the only 1970 music year recap to quote Tony Benn, unless one of the Mekons has written one

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 44. Tom Zé: "Metro Guide" Brazil 2022 Am I really blowing a late-round pick and an Ice Spice strike on an octogenarian reciting emergency service phone numbers? Ten words: seven one eight nine nine nine double five double five. www.youtube.com/watch?v=dd7a...

Me, 1 am: Alright, time to write up how to do the election swing map in R that I assigned my class, surely the MIT Election Lab data is nice and clean Me, 4 am: WHY DOES VIRGINIA SOMETIMES HAVE A BEDFORD AND A BEDFORD CITY AND WHY IS THERE SOMETIMES ONLY A BEDFORD

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 43. Billlie: "Ring X Ring" South Korea 2021 Like many SUPER-MAXIMALIST works, it feels slightly wrong, but trying to figure what's a bit off is part of the pleasure. Obviously the sheer size of the chorus is the bigger pleasure though. www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9jh...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 42. CMAT: "The Jamie Oliver Petrol Station" Ireland 2025 "My Singapore-style fried rice: Put ½ a tablespoon of olive oil into the hot pan" yeah I'm gonna stop you there, Jamie www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTWg...

Well, this is unprecedented. Thank you Joey for listening to and writing about every song I have ever written. Love the ranking, some curveballs in the top ten. Very flattering indeed, thank you.

Every song by Elizabeth Morris of @allodarlin.bsky.social, ranked! After four months of work (!!!), my next huge feature is about a band you maybe haven't heard of that might end up being everything to you: joeydaniewicz.com/2025/11/17/m...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 41. Wet Leg: "Chaise Longue" UK 2021 alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong alldaylong www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd9j...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 40. Corook: "They!" USA 2025 Look, I'm not saying that Corook being the only artist to get two of my top 50 means I think they've had a musically better decade than, say, K. Lamar or B. Eilish (who got none.) They're probably on a par at best www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoTG...

RIP Todd Snider. Most effortlessly funny musician I ever saw, but he could also play a train song www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8eR...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 39. Dj Kawest, T-Gui, T-Will: "Konpa Paradise 2" France/Guadeloupe/Martinique 2024 The most audacious opening ten seconds of any song this decade. Seconds fifteen to twenty-five, when the keyboard part fully vests, are nearly as good. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWIe...

New ongoing thread that'll unfurl over the next couple of weeks, will try not to make it all Aretha/Otis

Favorite '60s soul/R&B/blues albums, a thread: Howlin' Wolf (1962) How do you follow perhaps the GOAT blues LP? With your SEXFUNK record obvs. Wolf/Dixon/Sumlin etc. spin tales of fluids being drunk by the spoonful, modest-sized cocks causing ruckuses, back doors well you see where this is going.

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 38. Rosé & Bruno Mars: "Apt." South Korea/USA/technically NZ 2024 For a year I've been puzzling over whether "apateuapateu" is five syllables or six. Currently I think it's five and a third, so I hope they didn't overpay "Mickey"'s writers. www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8WE...

This was my clear number one, never heard it before the poll and now I wonder if it's the great Nigerian pop song of its era (pace King Sunny)

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 37. Duke Deuce, Lil Yachty, Turnt Lil Thadd: "Crunk Ain't Dead Mob" USA 2020 Things I wish there'd been more of in 2020s rap: crunk; unison chanting; finding solidarity in survival; spelling things; jumping around in shopping mall food courts. www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_cB...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 36. Sabrina Carpenter: "Please Please Please" USA 2024 The nerd Antonoff: I polished up the arpeggios real nice, w-will you go to the prom with me <crowd boos> The chad Bunetta: I literally used the same sample pack as "Say So" <crowd cheers> www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF1N...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 35. Ina Colada: "Komplett am Arsch" Germany 2020 Luke Combs and Gmac Cash lose out on the Covidsong slot to this Partyschlager singer I am the only person whom Chuck Eddy convinced to listen to. Wir sind komplett am Arsch, doch wir leben! www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKc4...

What's up in classical music: the most hyped violin prodigy in years, a passacaglia on Radiohead, justice for Kurt Weill, the worst Bible story stretched to 18 minutes just to be much worse than Dylan's 30 second version, Verlaines (not the Kiwis) for song fiends, and a bunch of women composers:

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 34. Mariah the Scientist: "2 You" USA 2021 That I haven't got anything out of her subsequent run as an actual star/gossip column regular doesn't detract from how pretty and balanced this is. Sure was beautiful, now I lay it in the grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwNO...

Ten current female (or nonbinary) artists I love: Mahotella Queens Adrianne Lenker Olivia Rodrigo Megan Moroney Doechii Victoria Monét Matana Roberts Elizabeth Nelson (of the Paranoid Style) Jane Remover/leroy Edna Martinez

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 33. Zuchu: "Amanda" Not from Uganda or Rwanda, she's from TANZANIA, 2025 Late change to accommodate the breakout hit of the poll! www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9f4...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 32. Baby Queen: "Buzzkill" South Africa/UK 2020 So Olivia must've had her former support act in mind when she & Nigro wrote "Get Him Back!", right? Not shocking that keying his car was much more streamable than partying with your self-loathing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYQM...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 31. Sho Madjozi: "Chalé" South Africa 2023 Never got over the fact that even after gerrymandering my 2023 year-end poll, this still got beaten into second by "Bad Idea Right?" www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut3l...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 30. Dolly Style: "Yihaa" Sweden 2025 If these kawaii Swedish cowgirls still have my top song of 2025 at the end of December, it'll have been a weird year (they probably won't) (it'll still have been a weird year) www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQAo...

Trying to spot where Republicans have actually held up tonight, pattern seems to be "places somewhat more racist than you'd predict from socioeconomic status" patch.com/new-york/min...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 29. Iris DeMent: "Goin' Down to SIng in Texas" USA 2020 Another ISC strike, but worth it for one of the great living folk singers shouting out the Squad and (even more surprisingly) the Chicks. Good day for a pro-Muslim, anti-war criminal song! www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfwz...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 28. Tommy Womack: "Call Me Gary" USA 2021 Finally, a (double non-complying) old white guy & a guitar! <conservative music fans cheer> With a song about the long-term fallout of church abuse! <conservative music fans demand a content warning> www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr2d...

Jazzwrld/Thukuthela's Swiftian run, Jubal Lee Young's four-word KJV, Wednesday's Southern Gothic podcast audition, SilkMoney making me fail my Mavis Beacon, plus progressive thrash, the least Latin name in Latin jazz, and #tetas in this month's Semipop Life: bradluen.substack.com/p/semipop-li...

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked 27. IVE: "After Like" South Korea 2022 The assuredness of the "I Will Survive" strings is what allows them to ask the gnomic chromatic question: "what's after like?" www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0B7... (bigger question: what's after a bunch of K-pop songs get one or two votes)

2016 a smidgen better I think, but there's no shame in being the runner-up <entire city of Toronto defenestrates me>

If Yamamoto sees this out he has to go up with Morris/Bumgarner right

well into all-star timer territory now

wooooooowwwwwwww #sports #wooooooowwwwwwww

wowww #sports #wowww #wowwwsports

#TheTwen2ie5 ranked: 26. Morgan Wade: "Wilder Days" USA 2021 An undersung feeling: being so infatuated with someone it aches that you can never access the part of their life they lived before you. (Now it's been retconned to be about a Real Housewives star, iirc.) www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK4u...

I don't hate this country radio hit, but bro are Nashville writers getting lazy. Tho I guess even if "we can make this hometown home" is a C-minus wordplay, at least it's parodyable. If the Chapmans really don't have better ideas, they can do "make this Homestar run" www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdH5...