Gargamel be like

Amazon claim to have handed me my parcel 7 hours ago but I'm not allowed to complain til Thursday and I am FEWMIN

*sniff* You smell like eggs. The rudest thing you can say without crossing societal lines.

It took 2 minutes. It just made her bark more. We've had to put them away...

22 is now 23. Update your dossiers accordingly

When the phone call you've been procrastinating can be avoided altogether by doing a thing online

Lola is spending her first IWD being eepy. She says the men are going to have to do the emotional labour and whatnot today

Just seen someone vehemently defending Timothééé Chalamet which made me go look what he's done and he just said ballet was shit and honestly I'm sad it's not worse because he makes my skin crawl

This is my new fun thing. Love to wake up more tired than when I went to bed

We all know too much about everything

Today is my Friday which is good because I simply do not have the will to work tomorrow

Just told the big boss to have a lovely weekend in an email and then remembered she's probably working tomorrow

Big trend on insta about showing women with a "normal, ageing face" and it is 100% skinny, white ladies with amazing bone structure

On Thursdays I have ONE HOUR between my day job and my evening job so I've run home for some dinner to find the element has gone in my cooker

Anyway. This one's for @sufondue.bsky.social

A small pile of washing up OR A FROG?

In perimenopause news 19 asked my why I looked SO SAD this morning. I'd burnt my toast. And then I cried about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just found out that Scots call razor clams "spoots." Because they spoot water out 💕

Hi @labouruk.bsky.social, is there an opt-out box I can tick for when Starmer talks about "our values"?

I missed lunch because I was doing the big shop so I'm eating rice pudding LIKE A BABY

Sainsbos appear to have stopped their periodic 25% off wine thing and it's really messing with my personal economics

I don't know which Hollywood surgeon has convinced male celebs that big puffy cheeks make them look younger. I'd not gotten over Ryan Gosling and now Jim Carrey has turned into a different person??

Looked at twitter for 1 minute and watched one video and it started autoplaying Wes Streeting??

All modern dating:

Just seen a thing about the labour candidate for the by-election and realised I hadn't heard of or seen her til just now. Labour absolutely killing the media angle there.

Me IRL: Has make-up on, looks human/presentable Me as appears on Teams: ACTUAL GOBLIN

Kansas has, overnight, invalidated the drivers’ licenses of trans people, a pointless cruelty that upends their lives If Brits think “it won’t happen here” think again! Groups in the U.K. who want the same thing are routinely invited to consult with Labour and normalised in our press!

Driving home from work last night me and 19 were discussing the mad shit her hamster has always done. We've had her 2 years but I suddenly said "are we quite sure Bean can see?" A range of tests last night has revealed she is, in fact, blind.

We'd all forgotten that this existed, yes? www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

I've just done this. Took about 30 seconds. I suggest everyone does. Not just if you're someone who might have it used against your benefit claim but because if enough people do it then it won't be feasible to use health data for horrible purposes like this and/or sell it.

What happened to patient confidentiality? I bet there's an opt-out tick box somewhere for ALL of this bullshit.

Yellow-sticker-sourdough cheese-on-toast 😍

The puppy is having her first season and it's been a nightmare but she's started sleeping til 8am and please let that continue 🥲

Been through the desert on a…

I don't eat any fruit but even I know it's bananas. Rank.

Turns out I don't support all women because I've just seen some lass trying to show people how she dresses her "curvy, mid-size body." She's a size 12.

I'd forgotten the food court. The photos in here make me feel OLD. Love this bit of actual common sense from the guy who supervised its building: www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Keep seeing Prince Andrew nonce jokes but if you replace "nonce" with "child rapist" they reeeaaaally stop being funny.

A thing I think about too often is a woman on insta who did a post about turning 60. It was all wholesome about how she's accepted her changing body and life, about how her husband still loves her (god bless a man who does the bare minimum, I guess) etc but then she said she was "entering the last

OK so in my new job everyone seems nice and competent and they all like their jobs. I'm in my own personal twilight zone.

When you've said too many dumb things today

Labour are like that middle-class, white lady you know who think trans people, neurodivergent people and anyone on benefits "has it too easy"/"is just making it up"

It's sneaking back because all the smokers/youth are vaping instead and it's so embarrassing people would rather get cancer apparently. We should never have got to a point where grown men are asking for "raspberry diamond ice" vapes in a shop.

My eldest will be 23 next month. At his first MMR I asked the nurse (health visitor?) how it was going... Her *visibly shaken*: I worked in third world countries when I was young. In this country, we have forgotten what it's like to watch children die of preventable disease. We will be reminded.

Calling in an expert; @lisatea.bsky.social - there's a craft fair/flea market in Wakey and you have to PAY to get in. Is this normal now??

Imagine if Russel Tovey was the tipping point for the entire UK

The rise of the dryrobe-as-everyday-coat is just the middle class version of people going to the shop in their dressing gown. Discuss

The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it

People bitching about the gofundme for his family like they didn't have to sell everything for his treatment. His wife just lost her husband and has 6 kids. I hope she gets millions. I hope she never has to work a day in her life