Keep close the unions’ fight for temperature regulated workplaces, friends youtu.be/if_UnYxP3ho

I’ve run the calcs and it turns out Count Binface is in fact the accelerationist candidate, so I will permit you all four weeks’ libbing out, 6th August hard deadline

That Pissfingers the rescue dog meme also applies to the upkeep of nonstick pans, which are similarly shite at staying the length

Precisely the “Golly whizz, how’d you play this li’l peewee soccer game y’all” moment that we’ve forever known the US team to create, and will continue to see no matter how much they puff themselves up.

the only lasting bel vs. usa memory i have is when chris richards prostrated in grief at ft i said "the usmnt are praying to mecca" and my friend's uncle got so mad that he had to go in the backyard

O mal foi derrotado.

✋🚫 I will be going NC with anyone rooting for Belgium tomorrow morning bc thats 1) trauma bonding (yall just jealous) 2) elder abuse (the USA is 250 baby!) 3) male manipulator behavior (we know ur a Jacques Brel fuccboi) & 4) gaslighting (Belgium doesnt exist)

They’re still going on about why Trump was right, this one time, to put in a call about Folarin Balogun

HEAVEN HELP US. PRAISE BE

Stick to writing Invader Zim

Marg bar Amrika

Thinking of Áine O’Dwyer’s Music for Church Cleaners and that one woman on it who scolds her for holding on a note for so awfully long and getting pished off like it’s the very first time

KABU VERDI 🦈 🇨🇻

I co-own a cooperative pub and it’s nice to come down south occasionally to see it flourishing! Fun fact about me.

Coming up with this card must’ve been the girl equivalent of Three–O Walcott

Think I’m a truther when it comes to deadheading flowers to encourage new growth. Not in my garden it doesn’t.

Never in doubt

🐐

It’s all gone quiet in my right ear (which is facing the Solway Firth btw)

This is the worst appointment with Dr Congo I’ve ever had.

Marg bar Amrika

This but it’s the big drop on Storm by Godspeed

To mark the demise of Humphrey Smith, here’s the @daveyjones.bsky.social dig at the Sam Smiths chain and their somewhat eccentric / complete nutcase owner Humphrey the other year.

Sam Smith’s pubs no longer being shut down because a shire Tory thought he smelt an air freshener in there once

The time for pussyfooting is over; until we start extracting confessions from the rack, we will be unable to bring the devastators of Wor Saplings to justice cumbriacrack.com/2026/06/30/s...

When our dads all wake up in the morning, my god

Flowers for Almirón

Young’s double slit experiment except it’s UK journos being David Frost in his pomp when they can’t ask questions and Waylon Smithers when they can

Perhaps it isn’t useful to frame things as Starmerism, Burnhamism/Manchesterism, Blue Labourism, whatever, but rather Demoneyesism: what if Burnham is the left flank of a squad of golden boys with jostling but amicable views on how to be the heir to Blair?

I think my nose is now visibly larger than it was at the start of my adult life. You may as well get me to wheeze a YNWA charity single and then fly me to Barbados for Cliff Richard and Russ Abbot to infect me with whatever finally claims me

Hello I’m perfect youtu.be/AGX7TzDE6fQ

This isn’t a cry for help, but our group chat is currently experimenting to see how much we have to forward a dad joke about “Dr. Congo” before it attains mythical “forwarded many times” status

Uruguay didn't qualify in the end? But Marcelo Bielsa sits on a box???

Chastening to be on here when you find one of those “best ever tweets” threads and most of the contributions are Fred Basset-level humour

An excerpt from Patrice Lumumba’s letter to his wife, his last words before execution: ‘I prefer to die with my head held high, unshakable faith, and the greatest confidence in the destiny of my country rather than live in slavery and contempt for sacred principles.’

papers, canal, hat, the tailor of, your boys took one hell of a beating

The fractals of the British far right that’ve emerged post-Borris continue to be an education for me. What confounds it is that Nazi-tier racists aren’t necessarily in Restore, UKIP or beyond even them, rather they often jump on the most useful political vehicle for the here and now.

a rightmove description.. with prompts included

Rare excitement for me as a tradie’s actually turned up at my house. Downside is that they’ve parked their transit van directly under my bedroom, they’re not here for me, their alarm and lights keep going off and it’s midnight on a day where having the windows open would be nice

Birker Force is one of the great waterfalls here because it rears up like the gates to a Balkan socialist city

Is this good? britmonkey.com/2020s-politi...

Garden hoses. What a swizz. Never coil up properly and stop working after a year. B&M are laughing all the way to the bank.

rare spurs victory in a north london derby

[High Performance Podcast] John Barnes: y’know what it takes to get an England call up? And y’know what I do when I hold and give? Jake Humphrey: *nodding* find some space John Barnes: *shaking his head* do it at the right time mate Jake: *grinning* fucking hell

Fucked up my timekeeping this evening to the point of deep frying some aubergine while using the hairdryer. A child should circle a drawing of me in a PSHE lesson

Only thing I’m mithered about with Brexit-as-Saturn devouring his son is what a 10-year reunion and recreation of this BBC stock footage would look like

Before Starmer goes he needs to let off another emergency alarm test on all our phones, just to make sure.