engaged cubicle silent for several days what secrets you hold

Coworkers pointed out that if the Greens legalise all drugs, then you’ll have people going around shooting up heroin everywhere. Hope someone has the good mind to tell Zack Polanski, he’ll be kicking himself

Given the coalition they’re realising needs holding together, would a prospective Reform government do owt from left field like freeing the weed, do we think?

Spilling Irn Bru over the keys of the overheating 4G laptop I have balanced on my crotch upon reading the FT’s latest fertility figures

Watched an admiral butterfly making good use of my alpines and it reentered: youtu.be/LE6JWijSMgg

Another successful day’s #cratedigging

Gladly welcoming all tweets that capture the experience of trying to bond over your special interests on a forum when you’re 13

Now that’s what I call music youtu.be/FYcDmObPgx8

Out I go once more into the green yonder in search of good local fowk music. Everything that claims to be so here is just acoustic covers of The Snowman and songs about remembering to wear your knee pads when out weeding, but I'm eternally full of hope

Give Le monde fabuleux de Yamasuki a listen if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.

Having a Hahaha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! / Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck moment with the nice hand thrown vase I bought recently and a dearth of dainty flowers I’ve grown to add to it

It’s a big club and you’re not in it

Josh Simons will be doing this because he’s a Labour Together knob who wants Andy Burnham to fall down a leaf-covered hole with a Blossoms LP suspended above it lol. It’ll go Reform!

Psychobilly: the first “do we have to do this” music genre?

Everybody wants some invented tradition but nobody wants to visit my local stone circle at solstice and raise my plastic Excalibur aloft while dressed in my late auntie’s furs, like I did in 2023

Hoping my recycling is collected this Wednesday after eight weeks off. Not like there’s owt wrong with bin men taking a break—that’d be #copbehaviour!

Things I remember from Friday afternoon: 1. Mocking the relaxing music they put on 2. Being shown my bloody wisdom tooth and going "aw" on being told I couldn't keep it 3. Friend thinking I was lucid again after showing enthusiasm towards a gauze when really it gave me fond thoughts of Muslimgauze

Private school labeller coming up with the goods absolutely every single time.

Not too convinced by that 1315 datapoint. What if it had been recorded at an unconventional new bar that Did Things Differentloh?

Friend’s reminded me that our school, coming out of Section 28, had a uniform rule where boys were allowed a single earring, a stud only, so long as it wasn’t specifically in the right (gay) ear

(Watching the new Balamory) actually it's just not for kids. And it has darker undertones and themes

Though it’s sad for me to see their true colours, I’ve slowly come to terms with not all Green candidates being this correct.

Melody Maker when London 0 Hull 4 came out:

My house is part of a terrace in the middle of nowhere. Whenever I step outside I get a “Yoo-hoo!” Every Thursday evening somebody chimes a glass to signal Naked Time, where we all have a romp in the shared back garden while the elder beats a large, goatskin drum

Not ready to run again. Completed eighteen miles and for much of that my legs locked up like a steering wheel. There was a friendly lamb though. lol!

Seen my first Dutch registration plate of the summer. Vroumsch! youtu.be/B2Tk1JseYkU

Tittering while slipping the God Delusion into the fiction section

The Old Division 4: we’ve finally relegated Barrow and Harrogant! Our league shall never be tinpot again! Carlisle United: hold my XL crisps

Imagining what the trending podcasts Apple recommend me sound like, “Doing up my garden today” “Oh, what are your plans?” “Flagging and astroturfing it all mate” “Cool! And the weeds?” “Weedol mate” no doubt.

This is how they are going to bury Georg Baselitz, haha, #artjoke

Gets better with age doesn’t it, the feeling of climbing into bed. And I don’t even do it with company!

In totally unsurprising news, Richard Dawkins is developing AI psychosis. Paywall bypass: archive.is/6RdK9

Weird it's all in the air again, but maybe a little distance helps. I will credit Pitchfork in the early 2010s for allowing my wild swing of an idea -- an oral history of the releases that eventually made up _The Five EPs_ -- a place to dwell.

You don't have to convince me

Well, we haven’t had a manager who follows Tommy Robinson on 𝕏 for about 20 minutes now, and I’ll take it.

Our new miniseries is out now. They call him the Prince of Darkness. Peter Mandelson's decades-long political career is a skeleton key to everything that's gone wrong in Western politics in the last forty years.

Ordered some of those red Staedtler pens which, all things being equal, should now last me well into my 70s.

You’d never catch me self-describing as spiritual but not religious but you can catch me on occasion furrowing my brow and dubbing the odd thing “numinous”

Yesterday I ran >50 miles and had lentil soup for tea (and brought up a burger because my stomach’d gone) #fellrunningshawty

20°C sunshine, huh? Mad how taking on liquids stops being optional in this.

A lot of people who didn’t grow up having to think of such divides have a Homer Goes to College outlook towards Catholics and Protestants

At Long Meg and Her Daughters, thinking of women who fight and have fought enclosure on this island, maybe women who fight enclosure everywhere

Welsh poppies budding I see. We! Did! It!

Dinosaurs at my workplace subjected me to two consecutive salads on this away day, so it’s time to feel feelings again

Olly Robbins, you sir, should stand for Labour leader! #chapeau

BORN TO KAI UNIVERSITY IS A CHALLENGE Beat Em All 2026 I am Madgwick 410,757,864,530 STARTER QUESTIONS

Hope the people I follow on Strava don’t have their bosses on there. More days off than Father Christmas.

First tick bite of the season 👍