DEFCON stands for Definitely Concerning. “DEFCON 4 status sir!!” Ok I’m concerned but all good I think. “DEFCON 1 Status Sir!!” ok now I am definitely concerned!!

I make the trucker law pledge and say "thank you mlb"

Already started counting down the days till spring training. Love baseball

NFL will be quite pleased to learn that the MLB season is over. They no longer have to compete with the MLB for viewers!

I just want to say Thank You to the mlb! Fans, please join me in saying Thank You to the mlb.

Gentlemen, start your televisions. it’s the MLB again

“Que cera, Que cera” the ballplayers may say. Even the cantankerous Mr. Dylan (a certified grump!) would agree…the answer to who will be champ, is blowin’ in the wind! But I might just settle for…Play Ball! Good luck to all the fans, I might also add.

They should remake Rudy as a baseball movie. “play ball Rudy! Play Ball!!”

Don’t let the ump get ya- it’s the MLB

Sinatra carried dimes in his pocket to to be ready when his son’s kidnappers called. He kept dimes on him the rest of his life and was buried with a pocketful. I keep a quarter in my pocket in case I want to go to Aldi and check out their #AldiFinds!

Due to the loss tonight, MLB Mariners will have to sail the high seas to the MLB offseason

Get in the postseason ballgame or simply watch from home. Doesn’t matter to me

AHHH! I just saw something sp-sp-spp-SPOOKY!!! It was a real ghost and it wanted the souls of MLB ball players and stadium faculty

Is this place called heaven or Hell. Your eternal life has been granted unto you via postseason play

YERRRRRROUTTT!!! WALK!! anything could happen in the MLB tonight- including the dreaded strikeout and dreaded base on balls

A scenario never seen before Ball one ball two ball three and ball Four If Ump allows, later a run Isn’t this a lot of Fun

“I’m named fuckin farty farty fuckface and I shit my fucking pants every time I fart Then I piss on my own fuckin face”

Two teams. Nine defensive players. Four bases in the diamond. But there’s only One baseball per play. Whoever has the baseball last wins the day, so I say, Play Ball!

A door in my home just cracked ajar all by itself! I closed it a second ago but then it kind of creaked open a little bit- all by itself! I think it was a gh-ghh-GHOST!!!

I get #my MLB news and scores from following the official Facebook account of Major League Baseball. Dont miss a single pitch at Facebook.com

There’s three times the bats and three times the balls in Triple Baseball. Three times the triples and three times the doubles. There’s even three times the dingers And three times the base knocks

What if there was triple baseball. Three times the batters and Three times the balls. Three times the defensive players and Three times the umpire calls. Could be kind of neat

Ring-a-ding-ding! Another batter has been struck out in the MLB postseason.

The players are here and this is why Thursday night football is nearly ‘nigh Oh! And watch the players run But the score could still be none to none

If I was QB, I would Hike the ball, throw to a teammate- and then have the teammate throw the ball Back to me, causing utter confusion to the defending team. And whom, you might ask, would be the benefactor? My offensive program

“A man’s got to have a code” well I try to go poop twice every day.

The players of college and NFL football are becoming chippy due to competition!

If a NFL team owner would like to get to the end zone, he or she will first need to go to the ‘spend zone’ due to the high costs of owning and operating a NFL franchise.

In 1994 you could just say ‘a three hour toouuurrrr’ and everyone in the office would laugh and you’d get promoted. But in today’s workforce you have to do Lil Jon impressions to get ahead

I am not sure about what this NFL Weather Delay means for the players, the fans, and the owners. It could be impact to game.

if I was QB I would say ‘hut hut Run’ or ‘hut hut Pass’. Now give me my 4 likes

Now behold the tale of Daniel’s Purple Coat! Daniel was Jesus’ favorite guy so he got a purple coat. The other villagers were none too pleased and beat the crap out of him. Can’t remember the rest

They’re called the doobie brothers because they sure do be brothers in real life

Looks like the Jonas Brothers have decided to be standing up to cancer in partnership with the MLB. Pretty cool

MLB action continues tonight! The Marlins and Astros get things rolling at 6:40 ET.

The smile of a boy, the smile of a man. The smile of a girl, the smile of a woman. Fans, welcome to the MLB

I think that they could make a movie about the MLB. But the true tale may be too outlandish for the moviegoers- ‘even for a movie about outfielders, it’s too far-fetched’, they might say!

The baseball players will need to hit every ball and touch every home plate (runs are good, yes?) to make the postseason. Some will be watching from the stands with envy- they didn’t make the grade. Oh well- maybe next year!

Prepare for lift-off. You’re gonna get honked sky-high

I say, may there be another MLB All Star Game in 2026!

The baseballs are ready and batters and more. The strikeout will be yours- or home run at-bat. Play ball!

The BFG by Roald Dahl stands for The Big Fuckin Guy

There have been, blockbuster trades in baseball! The Pirates will set sail for October and other ball clubs will as well

Honkin’ down the highway- yes it’s trucker law open.spotify.com/track/2v26sq...

“Human 028649265…you have been scheduled for elimination…” That sort of thing could be happening in the not-so-distant future!

Red to black and black to red Don’t forget or you’ll be dead That’s how to jumpstart a sickly rig and that’s trucker law

‘We got him. We got him. Justice was served upon him.’ - me to my sleeping family after watching the bin laden doc

They call it “The Miracle on the Hudson”. Captain Sully took a plane, once miles high, and landed it on the water/ on the Hudson despite mechanical issues with the plane. No reported deaths!

Went record shopping

“Oh, Behave!!” Fans of renowned British bad boy Austin Powers will have to cool their jets- and jet packs. There are no plans for a fourth installment in the franchise at this time.