You can’t have a hat trick if you can’t score a goal!!

They should do a Pitt episode where none of the patients have bones. “There’s no bones in this patient, Doctor!”. Wow. Could be really cool

the wild lovers of the bayou down on in the Cajun swamp are singing diggy-diggy-hi and diggy-diggy-lo in the Creole way. The bullfrogs and crawdaddies don’t bite- but the gators do

Today’s super bowl has made me feel bored

The, super bowl is tomorrow!

Big Bopper and Buddy and friends were stolen by the angels this fateful day in 1959. Their crazy rock antics were stolen from this world, but may be waiting for you in heaven

The Shitter’s Elixir 1 part hot Cafe Bustelo coffee 1 part room temp water Take it to pound town

Better luck next time turkey

“Business and revenue…money and sales…but what about the people. What about the people.” -me

Thank you partner but I can’t. I don’t have the resources

It’ll be the chair for Mr. Ho Ho Ho The fast lane is where the Truckers go

It would be nice if Bono and the boys in the band U2 could do a special Christmas concert this year- and why not dedicate it to Santa and Jesus as well!!

I would NOT be good at pretending to be Carson Brown! I don’t know who the fuck that is

Perhaps you’re the type of curious scribe who would like to have your Own say in how the story ends! Then collect your feather and ink- and tell us if Sir Knight bests the dragon, or if Crispy Burnt Royalty is on the dragon’s dinner menu tonight!! But first- you must learn to read and write. Huzzah!

Remember remember the 8th of December. It’s Pearl Harbor day and also one of the mop-top lads from Liverpool was murdered this very day. That’s what I call a December to remember

Santa’s reindeers must be shitting themselves because of all the Christmas shopping happening this year

Better luck next time Larry

“Oh! Oh! I’ve let all of the Black Friday deals pass me by!!” Shut up. You’ll find your deals once again on Cyber Monday

thanksgiving is a vibe!

Did you know you can like your own tweets. It’s the shrewd move to make, so, go ahead and like your own tweets

You’re the Geronimo kid but up ahead is the ballad of easy rider and he’s in the way of you and your rig. Honk em to high heaven or send em to hell. That’s trucker law

Going toilet shopping this morning. I actually need to buy 2 toilets. I won’t be purchasing unless there’s a deal or unless the full-time price seems appropriate.

Game of thrones social media could do a Christmas post like ‘Merry Christmas from all the cast of Game of Thrones…even the barbarian horde!!’…would be kind of nice to see

DEFCON stands for Definitely Concerning. “DEFCON 4 status sir!!” Ok I’m concerned but all good I think. “DEFCON 1 Status Sir!!” ok now I am definitely concerned!!

I make the trucker law pledge and say "thank you mlb"

Already started counting down the days till spring training. Love baseball

NFL will be quite pleased to learn that the MLB season is over. They no longer have to compete with the MLB for viewers!

I just want to say Thank You to the mlb! Fans, please join me in saying Thank You to the mlb.

Gentlemen, start your televisions. it’s the MLB again

“Que cera, Que cera” the ballplayers may say. Even the cantankerous Mr. Dylan (a certified grump!) would agree…the answer to who will be champ, is blowin’ in the wind! But I might just settle for…Play Ball! Good luck to all the fans, I might also add.

They should remake Rudy as a baseball movie. “play ball Rudy! Play Ball!!”

Don’t let the ump get ya- it’s the MLB

Sinatra carried dimes in his pocket to to be ready when his son’s kidnappers called. He kept dimes on him the rest of his life and was buried with a pocketful. I keep a quarter in my pocket in case I want to go to Aldi and check out their #AldiFinds!

Due to the loss tonight, MLB Mariners will have to sail the high seas to the MLB offseason

Get in the postseason ballgame or simply watch from home. Doesn’t matter to me

AHHH! I just saw something sp-sp-spp-SPOOKY!!! It was a real ghost and it wanted the souls of MLB ball players and stadium faculty

Is this place called heaven or Hell. Your eternal life has been granted unto you via postseason play

YERRRRRROUTTT!!! WALK!! anything could happen in the MLB tonight- including the dreaded strikeout and dreaded base on balls

A scenario never seen before Ball one ball two ball three and ball Four If Ump allows, later a run Isn’t this a lot of Fun

“I’m named fuckin farty farty fuckface and I shit my fucking pants every time I fart Then I piss on my own fuckin face”

Two teams. Nine defensive players. Four bases in the diamond. But there’s only One baseball per play. Whoever has the baseball last wins the day, so I say, Play Ball!

A door in my home just cracked ajar all by itself! I closed it a second ago but then it kind of creaked open a little bit- all by itself! I think it was a gh-ghh-GHOST!!!

I get #my MLB news and scores from following the official Facebook account of Major League Baseball. Dont miss a single pitch at Facebook.com

There’s three times the bats and three times the balls in Triple Baseball. Three times the triples and three times the doubles. There’s even three times the dingers And three times the base knocks

What if there was triple baseball. Three times the batters and Three times the balls. Three times the defensive players and Three times the umpire calls. Could be kind of neat

Ring-a-ding-ding! Another batter has been struck out in the MLB postseason.

The players are here and this is why Thursday night football is nearly ‘nigh Oh! And watch the players run But the score could still be none to none

If I was QB, I would Hike the ball, throw to a teammate- and then have the teammate throw the ball Back to me, causing utter confusion to the defending team. And whom, you might ask, would be the benefactor? My offensive program

“A man’s got to have a code” well I try to go poop twice every day.

The players of college and NFL football are becoming chippy due to competition!