Friendly reminder that extreme wealth correlates with an increased likelihood of sociopathy vs the population average.

1. Push already desperate people into food riots by literally starving them and their families. 2. Wheel the orange colostomy bag out to denounce all rioters as members of antifa, and the riots national emergencies/insurrections. #shutdown

Both cats seen very sus of the new robot vac; every clean there are a dozen photos of them following it around the house and monitoring it

#Cats are the best people.

I am struggling to see how even the most hardcore of big orange's supporters could rationalise a multi-million dollar, north-koreanesq military parade for a guy who has divided his time between shitting on their country from a great height, sleeping in public, and golf.

Had my eye pew pewed. Cv annoying.

got a 3 day ban on Reddit for "threatening violence" I suggested you could weaponise a fictional superpower that "lets you give someone an orgasm by pointing a finger gun at them and saying pew".

my doctor: you can't use stilnox every night, okay? me: i believe you are correct that it is a very bad idea. my doctor: yes, but you aren't going to use it every night are you? me: that would be a very bad idea. my doctor: ... me: ...

#tw #cancer #boomer #selfharm Looking after one terminally ill parent is stressful enough, but when the other is being a childish fuck, I cannot begin to describe how much I want to stick my hand in a blender just for the hospital stay and associated mental health assessment.

Really enjoying my father's refusal to wear his hearing aids, because apparently he enjoys making me repeat myself 3 times while yelling

Cat has claimed my leg. Guess I'm here until death takes me.

Man, I'm going to end up boiling the ocean dry at this rate

Super productive teams meeting that could have been an email, where all the other disciplines talk for hooourrrsss and us in the EI&C team are just sitting here like

Them: was it a productive meeting? Me:

Turn around from working at my desk to see this gentle reminder that it's breakfast time

*** V O U G E ***

Morning sun best sun.

surveying her kingdom

You beautiful son of a bitch, #Brisbane. You're so hot and I love you.

The bee is her favourite toy. She'll chase it for hours, but when she's had enough she'll jump into the box, and sit there watching it.

Goddamn, was not expecting a new Chevelle single this morning, nor was I expecting it to blow me tf away 🤘🤩🤘 music.apple.com/au/album/rab...

Had a chest/sinus infection and had been coughing up a little blood. Doc sent me for an x-ray last Friday and his office just called as he wants to see me about results. Low key hoping it's actually cancer so I can justify giving up. Just need to make sure the cats are taken care of.

❤️

*mwah*

Box cattos

I laughed at this for a good 5 minutes www.instagram.com/reel/DHX_9ss...

❤️

😔

Not an expert, but I'd say approximately 0.2?

Gotta share the fan with my grad

I have never watched a stock with such baited breath as I am watching tesla. We can't be far off from dipshit mcfuckface wearing a margin call on loans he took against his stock. ❤️

Watching me work, because cats like you to understand how shit being an adult human

Hard day at the office

Siri, what does "not enough fibre in your diet" look like?

Knock off time (that is, time to switch sleeping position)

My little work from home shadow

Now that the influential bigot who did a Hitler salute publicly claimed that organic protests against his malfeasance are secretly controlled by a list of foreign Jews, some of whom aren’t even alive today, are we allowed to call him a Nazi, or is there something even Nazier we have to wait for?

Weather: *big gust of wind* Beanie: ***concern***

The images I get from the fisheye camera are absolutely worth the expense of a robot litter tray

What a beautiful brisbane day! 😬😅

Brisbane people: there is a cyclone coming, I must buy quantities of water and poo tickets such that I can do nothing but drink water and shit for a month straight. Also Brisbane people: just going to leave these unguided missiles sitting out here until the wind starts actually moving them.

In the continuing theme of Brisbane people having a Very Normal One, this is the 2nd Bunnings I've been to this morning looking for a single bottle of LPG

Gives less than 2 shits about cyclones.

Brisbane people being totally normal once again.

Such a manly man. So authoritative and masculine.

5 day weather forecast: Rain Rain Rain Goatse Rain

“Why aren’t you wearing a suit?”