So it appears that the malign feelers of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation’s marketing department have worked their way into confectionery. I present: ‘Monty Bojangles signature choccy scoffy chocolatey truffles’. Time for a cull.

Looks like Pete (hic) Hegseth is gathering the top US military, and heads will roll! After all, it worked out just fine for Stalin.

What’s this? Melanoma Trump starting a children’s charity? www.upi.com/Top_News/US/... So, now Epstein’s gone, they decided to cut out the middleman.

bond girls but they’re also muppets: thread

Product placement.

Next up in glow-in-the-dark fun in the US: radioactive shrimp. abcnews.go.com/US/fda-warns...

Got a new spot for my ‘Wolf Hall’ books. It’s a Hilary Mantel-piece.

www.bbc.com/news/article... I love the line “Environmental groups have criticised the handling of the situation”. They seem to be ignoring the fact that this is A FUCKING NEST FULL OF RADIOACTIVE WASPS.

Sometimes life feels like this. With noodles and kaiju. m.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ9Y...

Wake up, it’s Saturday, make a nice cup of…oh.

To prepare for the coming week, may I recommend a touch of SFA fronted by our very own @gruffrhys.bsky.social ? m.youtube.com/watch?v=GNB3...

So REM are auditioning as Top Gear presenters these days?

A bit of Captain Beefheart, Ry Cooder on guitar, from “Safe as Milk”. Enjoy! m.youtube.com/watch?v=ayUq...

I’d forgotten that the capital of Bahrain is named “Manama”.

Q: How do you make a duck into a soul singer? A: Stick it in the microwave and wait until it’s Bill Withers.

Is this the Only Fans I’ve heard so much about?

I love the fact that today Newsmax started trading publicly, opening the NYSE. Now, let’s look at the indices… Oops.

“Festive.” “Welcome to Holiest Day of The Cult Of Black Horror, Suffering and Death! We’ve got…er…Spam™️Upside Down Pie.” <aside> “Dave, this might be slightly excessive even for us.”

“Psycho chicken, Qu’est-ce c’est? Cluck cluck cluck cluk bwaak cluck cluck cluck cluck bwaak cluck…”

I was mixing some spices using Indian long pepper and then read this: ‘One recipe, from the Kama Sutra, calls for long pepper to be mixed with black pepper, other spices, and honey, with the promise to "utterly devastate your lady”.’ I read the last bit in Matt Berry’s voice.

A happy St. Patrick’s Day to everyone 🇮🇪! Here’s your invitation to slink into a new week courtesy of Lee Morgan: “The Sidewinder” (1964). As always, thanks to @bluenoterecords.bsky.social ! m.youtube.com/watch?v=qJi0...

A beauty from Duxford.

Dear Dudettes and Dudes, Wishing you a very happy Day of the Dude! Enjoy a smoke, a White Russian and go bowling.

When buying popadoms, I always insist on buying the “Terrifying Rabbit” brand.

Something chill for a Monday. What were the skies like when you were young? m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ecd...

Ooo! 1k followers! Don’t you lot have anything better to do? Thanks to you all. I promise that I’m trying to follow as many of you as possible, and thank everyone for your senses of justice, humanity and humour which is much needed these days. Looking forward to seeing you around!

Look, I know people can be very defensive about their soap operas, but this is ridiculous.

@npcollins.bsky.social always good to find a fellow violinist. Nice profile and great snark!

Hello, Marketing? How did this get past you?

I just read that Gabon used to have a dictator named Ali Bongo. Busy man, what with the magic shows and all.

Elon! What an IT genius! In the last week he has: - confused non-deduplicated databases with databases containing extra entries! - Decided that SQL is no use for queries! - Shown utter ignorance about Cobol timestamps! I’m impressed. His AI efforts should be hilarious.

Here’s a catchy number by Belgium’s finest, the Evil Superstars. Slight rudeness warning. m.youtube.com/watch?v=y2NH...

Wednesday again, so here’s a little blue-eyed soul from Dusty. m.youtube.com/watch?v=sxlF...

Avoid that Wednesday dip with a Leave Home remix: m.youtube.com/watch?v=N2yg...

An ‘80s cracker for Monday. m.youtube.com/watch?v=agNr...

@chris760.bsky.social That you, dude? Welcome and enjoy finding loads of people here. Catch you soon.

@amandaethan057.bsky.social Hello there! And welcome to Bkuesky. In reply to your bio, I can assure you that I have a matured mind (some might say pickled), but there’s only around a 50/50 chance of a serious conversation. The other 50 is almost always reasonably silly.

Mr. Elon Musk appears to be morphing into the bastard child of Howard Hughes and William Randolph Hearst. Has anyone considered an intervention? Bring together his closest friends and famil… …ah.

A question that has probably been asked before: does Minnie Driver drive a Mini?

Ancient joke: warning. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. And what do you call a ring-shaped Pacific isle inhabited by deer with no eyes and legs? Still no idea atoll.

@plandillon.bsky.social Howdy O cousin of mine! Hope you and yours are keeping well. Was in touch with the Kilkenny Mob over the holidays, they sound busy. Otherwise life is as normal as it can be with these wee beasts running the place. Love, Andy XX

Actually if you’re the singer in a band you’re kind of expected to be able to move, install, uninstall, run, fix or connect everyone else’s kit (analogue synths are a special form of torture) while checking sound balance and soothing the guitarist. A mic and FX box won’t get you out of this.

Back to the guitar thing: having been in a few bands, I know the mechanics and can strip, restring, retune, clean up, and fix the electronics like an infantryman and their rifle. Learning to play is another story.

I’m originally a string player (violin and viola) so learning to play one of these guitar things is a lot trickier than I imagined. Bm is today’s fun wrist-strain.

@loudbasket.bsky.social Chère Madame, Apologies for my intrusion but I was wondering if you’ve read the Irish Times columns of Myles naGcopaleen, “Cruiskeen Lawn”, helpfully collected in “The Best of Myles” and various other tomes. If I’m not shipping carbon lumps to Newcastle, may I recommend him?

Just found out the reason why The Observer’s restaurant critic and all-round decent chap is leaving the Guardian Group. It’s not good.

@sophirolds.bsky.social Apologies, no need for the apostrophe in “its”. Curse you, autocorrect! (Impotently shakes tiny fist at sky)

@sophirolds.bsky.social I, on the other hand, am deeply ignorant about wrestling, golf, hockey and Nascar (though I know about it’s roots!). Would a cultural exchange with rugby union, cricket, F1 or sumo be of interest?

Well, I could do with one of these:

@angela4556.bsky.social And here’s me trying to put the chaos back into Zen!